


Captive

by LeoDios



Category: Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, FC Barcelona, Feelings, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Football | Soccer, Grinding, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Past Abuse, M/M, Oral Sex, Physical Abuse, Rimming, Shower Sex, Sloppy Makeouts, boys in makeup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-04-22 17:42:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 56,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4844516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoDios/pseuds/LeoDios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neymar shifted closer, leaning his head on Leo's shoulder. Leo put his arm around him. He liked how easy they were physically with each other. </p><p>"I should go soon," Neymar muttered apologetically, "Let you get your beauty sleep."</p><p>"No rush," Leo replied. He was liking Neymar's warm body next to his and didn't want him to move just yet. Maybe he was even a little lonely, after all the lengths he went to to preserve his privacy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, here I am with another Ney/Leo fic. Nothing steamy happens in this chapter and I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this. I assume it will just come to me at some point. :)  
> Hope you enjoy this and please let me know in the comments what you think. xoxo

He ignored the security guard gesturing to him as he drove through the gates of his property. He liked to pretend that they weren't really there. That there wasn't staff looking after him, that he really lived on his own. But of course such a thing was a ridiculous luxury for someone in his position. Still, he could pretend.

 

He noticed Neymar's car in the driveway. That was probably why the security guard was waving at him, to give him a heads-up. Everyone who worked for Leo knew that Leo hated unexpected drop-ins. They weren't allowed to let anyone in unless Leo had specifically mentioned it in advance. They were used to making excuses on his behalf. But there was a limit to what they could do. Every once in a while Gerard would barge in, telling his assistant that he'd known Leo for much longer than any of them. Which was true, and Leo didn't expect them to be able to keep away someone like Geri.

 

So he didn't necessarily blame security for letting in Neymar. What was he going to do,  _not_ let him in? But he sighed and his jaw tightened as he walked into the house and crossed the lobby into the living room. It's not that he didn't like Neymar. Actually what he felt for Neymar was much closer to love, but Leo was the type of person who needed time to relax on his own, decompress after being with people all day. And Neymar, well...

 

"Come in, make yourself at home."

 

Neymar's husky, accented voice, and a little giggle startled Leo. He realised he'd stopped at the threshold of the living room, deep in thought, and Neymar was sitting down on the sofa watching him.

 

Leo smiled. 

 

"What're you doing here Ney?"

 

Neymar stood up and held up his hands.

 

"I'm sorry Leo. I know. I know I shouldn't be here. You don't like it, and you like to have your time to yourself. And you like to plan things and you need notice to see people and..."

 

Leo shook his head and entered the living room.

 

"Stop it Ney, I'm happy to see you."

 

Neymar smiled, as if pleased that he was bothering to lie. Leo touched his shoulder and kissed him on the cheek. He looked closely at Neymar's face. He was definitely upset about something. He'd left his hand on his shoulder, and he could feel him slightly trembling.

 

"Anyway, I'm sorry to barge in like this," he mumbled.

 

Leo withdrew and they both sat down. He felt bad that Neymar felt like he had to apologise for coming over.

 

"Just because I like to...plan things, doesn't mean you can never come over," he said. He felt the heat creep into his face and he bit his lip. 

 

"Thanks Leo. I just..."

 

Neymar broke off and sighed, putting his face in his hands.

 

"Hey, what's wrong?"

 

"Ah nothing. It's been a weird day. I feel bad for Rafinha, it looks really bad and I just..."

 

"I know. I feel bad too. Poor kid."

 

There was a pause. Leo could tell that Neymar definitely wanted to talk about it, was hesitating for some reason, but it wasn't in him to draw out conversation from people. He could be a good listener, but he was no good at playing therapist. 

 

"Do you want something to drink?" he asked finally.

 

"Do you ever get scared Leo?" Neymar asked suddenly.

 

Leo raised his eyebrows in surprise.

 

"Scared of what?"

 

Neymar laughed and shook his head.

 

"That's funny."

 

"What's funny?"

 

Since when did Neymar talk in riddles?

 

"You're funny. It doesn't even occur to you to be afraid, huh?"

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"I guess that's the difference between Dios and the rest of us!"

 

Neymar stood up with a little bounce and started pacing up and down the room. Neymar had said it lightly, with no trace of bitterness, but it rankled him.

 

"You think I'm not afraid of anything?" he said, his voice coming out tenser than he wanted it to.

 

Neymar turned towards him, a surprised look on his face.

 

"Oh no. I didn't mean...I just meant aren't you ever afraid of being injured? Taken down by some asshole and then just like that, it's all over?"

 

This was certainly a topic Leo did  _not_ want to get into. Not now, not with Neymar. He tried smiling.

 

"I  _have_ been injured, you know."

 

"I know."

 

Neymar came over and sat back down on the sofa. He sat close to Leo and he leaned back heavily, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. He was close enough that Leo could feel the heat coming off his body. He could feel the restlessness in him too. After all, they were very close. They trained together and played together every day. They could read each others' body language in a way that couldn't be described in words.

 

"Ney," he said gently, "why are you here?"

 

Neymar let out a short laugh, eyes still closed.

 

"I know right? Why am I here? Is Dani out of town? Was Geri too preoccupied with his new baby? Why would I come to Leo Messi for a talk?"

 

He opened his eyes and smirked down at Leo, reached down and fluffed his hair a little. Leo moved away from his hand.

 

"Well, I'm not the one people normally come to for heart-to-hearts, if that was your point. I'm aware of it."

 

"Okay so, you don't have to say anything. I just want to talk to you."

 

"Okay."

 

"No. You have to say something. Will you say something?"

 

"Well, I don't know. It depends on what..."

 

Neymar clicked impatiently. He stood up and sat back down.

 

"I want to hear something from you Messi!"

 

Leo frowned. Neymar was quite agitated now, raising his voice a little.

 

"I'm really upset Leo. I'm upset about Raf...I would have talked to Dani, as usual, but I...I wanted to talk to you..."

 

Neymar's eyes filled with tears and they stared at each other for a few moments. It hurt his heart to see Neymar like this, but he also didn't get it. He didn't get him, to be honest. He was full of emotions and words and was so very, sometimes uncomfortably, expressive. 

 

"Hey. Okay. You wanted to talk to me, that's fine."

 

"I know what everyone else will say. But I want to know what you're going to say."

 

"About what?"

 

"God Messi, keep up!"

 

Neymar giggled suddenly, and Leo found himself smiling. The boy was a roller-coaster of emotions. More than usual, that is.

 

Leo cleared his throat. Was this part of his duties as captain? Where was Andres tonight, he wondered wryly.

 

"Okay here is what I think," he said slowly, "once you're injured, you know you're not invincible and then you're afraid. You're afraid you're going to get injured again. You're afraid it's going to be a serious one. That's normal. But we don't live in what ifs, do we? We can't. We wouldn't be able to function otherwise."

 

Neymar nodded. 

 

"That's it?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Just don't dwell on it? That's your advice?"

 

"I guess so. I mean you should talk to someone more...like Andres, or Xavi. Call Xavi or..."

 

He felt Neymar's hand on his, warm and somewhat clammy, squeezing slightly.

 

"Leo, I'm not going to call Xavi or ask Andres."

 

"Why not? They..."

 

He squeezed again, harder.

 

"I don't care. I only want to know what you think."

 

"Wh..Why?"

 

Neymar sighed and moved his hand.

 

"I don't know how to explain it. You're...special. You..."

 

Leo found, to his annoyance, that he was blushing hotly. He hated this. He hated when people praised him like this. Even though he'd had plenty of time to get used to Neymar's obvious, embarrassing admiration, he never knew how to react. 

 

Neymar was laughing now.

 

"Leo, Leo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...again! Hahaha. I just meant that you're the one i look up to the most. I want to know what  _you_ think, how  _you_ deal with things. Make sense?"

 

"I guess," Leo mumbled, unable to look Neymar in the eyes.

 

They were silent for a while and Neymar shifted closer, leaning his head on Leo's shoulder. Leo put his arm around him. He liked how easy they were physically with each other. 

 

"I should go soon," Neymar muttered apologetically, "Let you get your beauty sleep."

 

"No rush," Leo replied. He was liking Neymar's warm body next to his and didn't want him to move just yet. Maybe he was even a little lonely, after all the lengths he went to to preserve his privacy.

 

Neymar snuggled closer and got comfortable. He was still restless and he kept moving until he finally just lay his head on Leo's lap and stretched out his body on the sofa. Leo laughed.

 

"You're quite comfortable then?"

 

"Mmm hmm."  His eyes were closed.

 

Leo impulsively leaned down and kissed his forehead. Neymar's mouth curved up slightly in a smile.

 

After some time, Leo got up to go to the bathroom. When he came back, Neymar was sitting up, with his head in his hands. He really looked quite distressed and Leo went to him quickly and kneeled in front of him, placing his hands on his knees. Neymar removed his hands from his face and smiled faintly.

 

"I know Leo, I know. I need to go and..."

 

"Stop saying that. Please tell me what's wrong."

 

"I can't shake it. I get so scared. Ever since what happened at the World Cup and the doctors told me..."

 

His whole body shuddered, and Leo ran his hands up and down his calves to soothe him.

 

"Every time I'm reminded of it, I feel crazy with anger and fear. I can't put it out of my mind. I can't  _not_ dwell on it, you understand? And I  _hate it so much_! Because all I want is to be fearless, to do my thing without being a coward..."

 

And to Leo's horror, Neymar actually burst into tears, running his hands through his hair and shaking hard. If Leo had time to think about how to react, he would probably freeze. But Neymar's distress was so open and visceral that he just acted instinctively, standing up and wrapping him into his arms, and running his hands up and down his sides. Neymar leaned his head on Leo's shoulder and cried hard for a minute or two, until Leo could feel the tears soaking his shirt. 

 

Finally he stopped and let out a shaky laugh. He disengaged from Leo and leaned back, looking down at him thoughtfully. Leo lowered himself on to his knees again. He felt exhausted, and he put his arms on Neymar's lap and lay his head down. 

 

Neymar ran his hands slowly through Leo's hair, massaging his scalp gently. He could feel that the restlessness was gone from Neymar's body.

 

"Do you feel better now?"

 

Neymar's hand moved from his hair to his face, stroking lightly. His touch was so soft that Leo's eyes fluttered shut and he sighed in contentment.

 

"Yeah, I feel better," he replied softly.

 

"You just needed a good cry."

 

"Are you making fun of me?"

 

"Never."

 

"Hmm, just checking."

 

Their voices were mere whispers now.

 

Finally Neymar sighed and withdrew his hands. 

 

"I should go," he said.

 

Leo didn't really want him to go, this much he understood, but he didn't know why exactly. He still had some time to wind down before going to bed. He could read something, or take a bath. He would see Neymar at training the next morning, and everything would be fine. But somehow, he didn't want to move his head from Neymar's lap.

 

"Hey." He felt Neymar giving him a gentle nudge and he lifted his head. He looked up at Neymar and, for a few moments, they just looked at each other, smiling. 

 

"Thanks, Leo," he said and leaned down.

 

Leo wasn't sure if Neymar meant to kiss him on the lips, but that's what he did. It was a soft pressure, definitely more than just a peck, deliberate enough for Leo to really feel the softness of his lips. 

 

They both stood up and they embraced. Neymar held him tightly, and Leo didn't really want him to let go. But eventually he had to. He watched from his front door as Neymar sauntered down the driveway. When he reached his car, he turned around and looked back, green eyes gleaming in the dark. He flashed a smile, got into his car and drove away.

 

Leo frowned to himself as he got ready for bed. Was he actually lonely tonight? Is this how it felt?

 

*


	2. Chapter 2

"What if, overnight, the human race just ran out of...balls? Would that freak you out Pulga? Would it make life unbearable?"

Geri laughed at his own lame joke, and Leo didn't feel the need to respond. He was half-lying on the the grass, juggling a ball with his feet. Everyone else was across the field, laughing, spraying water, playing around. Geri didn't leave him alone, if it could be helped. It was simply something that had been true since they were kids. Geri looming over him, protecting him, dragging him out of his apartment when he'd gotten a little too introverted. 

Masche - another person who made a point of sitting with him - came along and sat down with them, and Geri started the conversation again about a world with no balls. Masche rolled his eyes but engaged him, talking seriously about how there would always be round objects in nature, like stones, and certain fruits.

Leo's eyes strayed across the field to Neymar and Dani. They were looking at something on their phones and laughing hysterically. Dani got into a tangle with one of the younger kids from the B team while Neymar continued tapping his phone. He briefly wondered if he should try to talk to the youngsters more. He did what he could, but he knew he had a reputation for being somewhat reserved. He didn't want to intimidate anyone, after all. 

His phone buzzed. It was Neymar, texting him from across the field. He looked over, but he had turned his back and was walking away.

_Hey, I didn't know how to say this yesterday but hope you're not too bothered by that penalty thing._

Leo sighed and put his phone away. He really didn't want to talk about it. It wasn't his style. When he made mistakes on the pitch, he thought about it and figured it out himself. And the penalty thing was something he didn't want to talk to with anyone. He had talked to Luis Enrique about it, whether he should give up taking penalties for Barca. And the coach's answer had been an emphatic "no."

"Of course I can't force you Leo, but if it was hundred percent up to me, you'll keep taking them. I have full confidence in you."

And that was that. 

His phone buzzed again. Of course it was Neymar again.

_I'm sorry! I know better than to bring this stuff up with you. I just don't want you to feel bad._ _Not that there's anything to feel bad about! You were amazing, as usual. That last goal was amazing!_

Leo sighed and sat up.

_It was Levante._

_What happened to respecting your opponent?_

_I do._

_So you're okay?_

_Of course I'm okay._

_Is it okay for me to check, once in a while?_

_Why are you texting me from across the field?_

_You mean we could just talk, like normal? ;)_

Leo thought about it for a second. Maybe he did make it hard for people to talk to him, like normal. At least Neymar was trying. And he had always been this way, since he arrived at Barca. In the beginning, Neymar was too much in awe, literally hopping from foot to foot as he finally got to train and play with _his idol._  It made Leo cringe.

Once they became colleagues, and then friends, Neymar still kept a respectful distance, but he had always encroached on his boundaries a little bit more than others did. He always pushed him a little bit. The only other person who did this was Geri, but Geri had known him since he was the tiny new boy from Rosario. He'd earned it. 

Something had changed last season. To be honest, although he'd always liked Neymar, he had irritated him a little bit at first with his over eagerness. But last season, maybe because they'd clicked so well on the pitch, so instinctively, so _without words,_  things had changed. He'd become a lot more used to Neymar's ways. He liked it. He found himself enjoying his football more, enjoying life a little bit more, enjoying everyone's company more. 

He typed a message back.

_We could. Or we could talk via text, whatever you want._

After he hit sent, he wished he'd also included a smiley. 

_And what do you want Leo?_

Leo took a deep breath. What were they even talking about? He couldn't dwell on it too much though, as they were called back to training.

After training, Neymar was waiting outside for Leo. He smiled somewhat shyly, ducking his head a little. Leo smiled back, a warm feeling in his chest.

"Need a ride?"

"That's...exactly what I need."

"What happened to your car?"

"Oh I...I thought maybe you could take me out for lunch?"

"Me? Take you out for lunch?"

"Yeah. You _do_  make more money than me. It would be the nice thing to do, don't you think?"

Neymar was leaning on Leo's car and Leo was close enough to Neymar to feel him holding his breath a little, and to see the little gold flecks in his eyes.

"Hmm. You really want me to take you to lunch?"

For some unknown reason he felt like teasing Neymar a little, so he spoke in a serious tone. Interesting how Neymar always seemed to bring out his more playful side.

Neymar bit his lip and coloured a little. Leo liked that he wasn't the one blushing, for once.

"If you're not busy right now..." He lowered his eyes and mumbled.

"Let's go then."

"Yeah?" Neymar looked up, eyes shining.

"Yeah. Come on, I'm hungry."

Neymar smiled happily and jogged to the passenger side eagerly. It made Leo smile to himself, and he tried to control it a little as he got in and started the car.

They had finished lunch but were lingering at the table. It was a place Leo came quite often so they left them alone. Neymar had obviously done most of the talking, but he hadn't been as talkative as Leo would have expected. He was almost tentative, careful to let Leo have a word once in a while. It was sweet.

Neymar by himself was...sweet. Leo realised he had never been out alone for a meal with him. Their relationship was mostly based on kicking a ball to each other, understanding each other instinctively, camaraderie and banter, the sweaty physicality of their game. Other than that, what did they really know of each other?

"What's that look Leo?"

"What look?"

"That look when you're trying to be serious but you're actually about to smile? I asked Dani the other day."

"Yeah? And what did he say?"

Neymar suddenly sputtered with laughter.

"He says, dunno maybe it's a look especially for you!"

Leo laughed uncomfortably, eyes wandering around the cafe. The hostess had discreetly given them the most private table and not placed anyone too close to them, but he was still conscious of people giving them looks.

But Neymar continued, the occasional notes of short laughter the only indication of embarrassment.

"What can I tell you, they sometimes tease me about you."

"What? Who?"

Leo looked seriously at Neymar's face and he looked back smiling.

"The Brazilians. And...some of the not-Brazilians. They tease me that there is something between us and that's why we only pass to each other."

Leo rolled his eyes, trying to be casual about it, but he could feel his face go red hot. Jesus.

"Hahaha Leo! It's just a joke!"

Neymar reached over and pinched his cheek gently and Leo frowned. Did the boy even realise they were in public?

Later, when he drove Neymar home, he was actually pretty quiet and thoughtful the entire ride. This surprised Leo but at the same time, it was a warm, comfortable silence and it felt nice.

Leo stopped in front of Neymar's house. He could tell that there were people inside, with music and loud conversations spilling outside. Leo suddenly missed his family. His parents no longer spent much time in Barcelona, preferring to be in Rosario most of the time, and his siblings were busy with their own families. They had always been a close-knit family, but now they just didn't spend that much time together.

"Leo...did you hear me?"

He started and glanced at Neymar, who had a smile playing about his lips.

"I'm sorry I was just..."

"Daydreaming! I said, I guess you don't want to come in and meet all my friends?"

"Oh. I..."

"It's okay. I know you don't want to."

Leo nodded. He turned his head and looked at Neymar. 

"Thank you Leo."

Neymar smiled but he looked a bit serious too. He continued.

"After all this time, I'm feeling like I'm finally getting to know you. You know, outside football?"

Leo frowned.

"There really is no me outside football."

And Neymar gave him a full, meaningful look, almost of pity. But there was something else there that Leo couldn't quite figure out.

Then he leaned forward and kissed him softly. Again Neymar kissed him on the lips. But this time there was no doubt that it was intentional. He backed away slowly, looking deeply into Leo's eyes, and Leo found that he couldn't look away.

Then Neymar blinked, smiled and hopped out of the car. Leo watched him walk to his front door. When he got there, he turned around briefly and waved, giving him that look that all the world loved - dazzling smile, teeth, tongue, bright eyes. 

The next day when Leo got to training, he felt great. And light. During practice he got a silly idea. Driving towards goal, he passed the ball to Neymar, and Neymar passed it back. Luis was in the perfect place to receive a pass, but he made a point of passing to Neymar again. Neymar passed to Luis and Luis passed to him. Again, Ivan was in a better position, but Leo passed to Neymar, taking unnecessary measures to do so. Neymar looked over at him, puzzled, and Leo winked. Neymar bit back a smile, and looked down. He got the idea.

Much to their teammates' surprise and amusement, Leo and Neymar only passed to each other, with increasingly intricate moves and elaborate tricks. The final straw came when Leo dribbled everyone to make sure he delivered the ball right to Neymar's feet and, instead of scoring the easy goal, Neymar made some ridiculous moves to deliver it back to Leo. Finally Leo took the shot and scored a goal. They ran into each others' arms and made a great show of celebrating the goal, while their teammates stood around laughing.

Soon training was over and they were walking back. Luis Enrique smirked at Leo as he passed him.

"Well when I said try out different things in training, this isn't quite what I had in mind..."

Leo blushed and ducked his head to hide his big grin. Neymar ran up to him and slung his arm heavily around his neck. They were both shirtless, sweaty and hot, and Leo could feel Neymar's skin stick to his. 

"Even the coach knows now," he muttered, in a low voice.

"Knows what?"

Neymar leaned in close, breath hot against his face.

"About us!" he whispered, brushing Leo's ear with his lips.

Then he ran off, laughing hysterically.

Leo's ear tingled the entire drive back home.  

*


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, this is especially for everyone hurting after that horrible match against Celta Vigo. Sigh. xxxx
> 
> PS: I realise that logistically this might not be completely sound. I know the match was played away, and the players would not be back in Barcelona on time for dinner. But just go with it...:D

Leo felt tired. Tired of life, tired of football, tired of his own company. They'd been destroyed, there was no other way to put it. He thought it would feel better to be defeated by a team that was actually good, actually worthy opponents. That it would feel better than being beaten by someone due to a freak goal, or bad luck. But it felt humiliating. They were supposed to be the champions, the best. And they'd had no answer.

 

He readied himself for an early night. Dani had asked if he wanted to come over, he was having dinner for the team at his place. But he only asked as a formality, knowing Leo would say no. 

 

Leo thought about what he could do to distract himself. Getting over a loss quickly was something he had to do as a professional footballer. As it is, people would constantly remind them of their losses. They didn't understand that there was a match a few days later to deal with, that they couldn't afford to dwell on one loss, no matter how tough. That would paralyse them, it would make them unable to do what they did. 

 

Watching a movie was too passive, his mind would just wander and he would start thinking about the match again. About what he could have done better. He didn't want to call his family because they would say the wrong things, try to make him feel better when he didn't necessarily want to feel better. He just wanted to forget and move on. He wondered if he should have just accepted Dani's invitation, for once. He could still go over, he supposed. But then everyone would wonder why he had shown up this time. Maybe they would make too much of it, maybe they would think he was particularly demoralised this time. This would make everyone feel worse. No, he was better off by himself.

 

He thought about reading a book, and picked one up from one of the shelves. It was a book of poetry by Kahlil Gibran. It was a present someone had given him, and he had never read it. He didn't usually read poetry. He took it to the sofa and sat down, opening it to a random page and reading.

 

_Your friend is your needs answered._

_He is your field which you sow with love and reap with_

_thanksgiving._

_And he is your board and your fireside._

_For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for_

_peace._

Leo sighed and closed his eyes.  _Right..._  


 

How did he get so lonely? All these years he was fine, just fine. He was still fine, but sometimes he had to wonder. If he was being completely honest with himself. The stupid thing was that he could call any of his friends, his teammates, his family, his friends from Rosario. And they would be happy to come over, to talk on the phone, anything. But something held him back. He held himself back, for what? To have this peaceful, guarded existence that he valued so much. 

 

Yet sometimes there was no word for it other than loneliness.

 

He opened the book and started reading again.

 

_Your friend is your needs answered._

Just then his phone buzzed loudly by his side and he jumped. It was a call from his security guy. He answered.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Leo...uh...Neymar is here and...just to let you..."

 

"Yeah okay, let him in."

 

"I did, of course. Just wanted to let you know."

 

"Ah okay Juan, that's fine."

 

"Sorry I didn't ask? It's Neymar so I couldn't..."

 

"Yeah that's fine Juan."

 

He hung up the phone and stood up, smiling to himself. He quickly walked to the front door and opened it. He could see Neymar's headlights approaching along his long driveway, and he went out onto the porch and sat down on the steps. It was a clear, cool, pleasant night.

 

Neymar parked and got out of the car. He grinned and held up his hands as he approached.

 

"Leo! Before you kick me out, just hear me out!"

 

He came right up to Leo and stood in front of him.

 

"You almost look happy to see me," he said, grinning sheepishly.

 

Leo couldn't control his wide smile.

 

"I am."

 

"Really?"

 

Neymar sat on the steps next to him. Leo stared in front of him, up at the sky with stars glittering above them. 

 

"Yeah. I'm really happy to see you."

 

He felt Neymar shifting closer. And then an arm sneaking around his shoulders. And then the other arm coming across his body to hug him. It was all very tentative and Leo chuckled. Finally, Neymar just yanked him into his arms and squeezed him tightly. Leo exhaled hard, and let himself melt into Neymar's arms.

 

God, it felt... _good._  


 

"Leo," he murmured.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Why are you here, by yourself, when we are all at Dani's together?"

 

Leo stayed silent for a while.

 

"What are you doing here anyway?" he suddenly thought to ask.

 

"What? I always feel bad when you go away by yourself, Leo. If you must know."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes. Really. I know it's how you are, and it's what you want. But if we can celebrate the victories together, we should be able to share the losses. No?"

 

"I just have to get my head straight. And I need space, that's all," Leo muttered.

 

Neymar's arms squeezed him tighter.

 

"I know Leo. That's why I gave you a couple of hours before I came over."

 

He laughed a little.

 

"Really?"

 

Some moments passed and Neymar loosened his arms. He took Leo by the shoulders and turned him so they were facing each other.

 

"Look at me Leo."

 

Neymar's face was quite serious and his voice almost stern. It was dark out and the lights outside were dim. Leo was glad for that, because he was sure he was blushing and looking very uncomfortable. He wished Neymar wouldn't stare at him like that, with that  _something_ in his eyes.

 

"I missed you," he said, his voice suddenly soft and low, "I know you're upset, and I don't want you to be alone."

  
Leo felt a lump in his throat and he swallowed hard. Fighting to keep his face neutral, he chewed on his lower lip and closed his eyes.

 

"It was so embarrassing," he finally said, voice coming out hoarse. He couldn't open his eyes and look at Neymar.

 

"Tell me about it," Neymar muttered.

 

"They totally dominated us."

 

"Fuck them."

 

"At least you scored."

 

"It was from your assist."

 

"So what? What's the point of one beautiful assist and goal, when they're putting...FOUR past us?"

 

"Exactly. Everyone was congratulating me for my goal but what's the fucking point?"

 

Neymar sounded utterly disgusted, with himself, and Leo opened his eyes.

 

"Don't say that Ney. It was a nice one from you. You saved our pride. A little bit."

 

"Really?"

 

Neymar smiled, face suddenly lighting up.

 

"Yes, really. And you gave us hope. For about three minutes."

 

Neymar burst into laughter. And Leo couldn't help it. He laughed too.

 

When Neymar wiped his eyes and took his hands into his, a gesture so familiar and intimate, it felt natural. They looked into each others' eyes, and Neymar gave him a look.

 

"What's that look?"

 

"I see how it is."

 

"How what is?"

 

"So you're allowed to make me feel better. But no one is allowed to try with you?"

 

"Did I make you feel better?"

 

Neymar squeezed his hands, his face serious.

 

"Of course you did."

 

"Because of what I said? But I'm sure everybody else..."

 

Neymar cut him off impatiently.

 

"You're not everybody else, Leo. Are you?"

 

After a pause Neymar smiled again.

 

"I have to confess. I actually came over because I was feeling upset, not because I thought you were upset."

 

He giggled.

 

"Oh I see."

 

"Yeah. Sorry I lied to you."

 

Leo stroked Neymar's hands softly, thoughtfully.

 

"Your friend is your needs answered," he said.

 

Neymar smiled, frowning a little.

 

Leo tried to remember the next lines, but he could only remember fragments.

 

"You come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace."

 

He smiled at Neymar's questioning face.

 

"It was a poem I was reading earlier, before you showed up."

 

"I didn't know you read poetry Messi. One more thing I find out about you, after all this time."

 

"I like how you say my name."

 

Neymar looked as surprised as Leo felt on having said those words, without thinking.

 

"Oh yeah? Leo?"

 

"No. Messi."

 

"Messi," Neymar repeated, grinning.

 

"It's so...Brazilian."

 

"And I like a lot of things about you, Messi."

 

Leo blushed, once again thanking the dark night and the dim lights. 

 

"Come here," Neymar murmured and pulled Leo into his arms. Neymar always embraced him wholeheartedly, with so much feeling, and Leo tried to reciprocate. He held Neymar close, as close as possible. He felt so much better, so much lighter. And not at all lonely.

 

*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm pretty upset about Leo's injury. :'(  
> Here's hoping he will recover well and be back soon. Football isn't the same without him!  
> This chapter deals with his injury a little bit. I'll be happy if it cheers anyone up that needs it! xoxo

He looked like a kid, with his shaved head. Leo had to smile at how cocky he was, how he strode into the locker room, how he scoffed at anyone's attempt to tease him about his new look. Yet he could see flickers of uncertainty in his eyes, he could make out how Neymar was fronting through whatever insecurity he felt.

Everyone had left for training already, except for Neymar who sat on one of the benches putting on his shoes. Leo wasn't sure what made him do it, but he slowly approached him from the back and placed two hands gently on the shaved head. He liked how the tiny hairs felt, hard and short against his palms.

"I swear to god, how many times..."

Neymar turned his head back, and abruptly stopped. 

"Sorry," Leo said, hurriedly moving his hands away.

"Oh I thought it was Geri," Neymar replied, turning his head away. 

He reached out behind him until he found Leo's hands and awkwardly placed them back on his head. Leo frowned, but went with it. He flattened his palms on Neymar's head. 

"He's been bugging me all morning." Neymar murmured.

"Hmm."

He rubbed his hands gently over Neymar's head and he sighed softly and leaned into Leo's touch.

They were quiet for a few moments, and both started a little when someone passed by the door, heels resounding across the floor.

Neymar stood up and turned to face Leo, stretching lazily.

"Hey, we gotta get out there huh?" he said, smiling, looking totally reluctant to leave.

"I don't feel like it."

"I don't either."

They stood and smiled at each other for a bit.

"Let's run away?"

Leo laughed.

"Where to?"

"We could go anywhere. Where would you like to go?"

Leo stopped to think. 

"Come on Leo. Do you have to think that hard? Where would you go to, if you could go anywhere right now?"

Leo sighed.

"Somewhere where no one knows me."

Neymar's eyes widened.

"So...Mars?"

"You think they don't know me in Mars?"

Neymar giggled and punched his arm playfully.

"They probably do! And what would you take with you?"

"I don't know. Food, maybe some music. A ball obviously."

"You forgot something."

"What?"

"Me?"

Leo hated the heat that instantly flooded his face. Being so pale, he knew it was immediately obvious, and he looked down frowning. As if frowning would get rid of his obvious embarrassment. Neymar wasn't going to let it go. 

"You're not even going to pretend?" he exclaimed, in an offended tone.

"Pretend what?" he mumbled, still looking down, still feeling the heat in his face.

"That you'd take me to Mars!"

It was so silly, he had to laugh. And Neymar joined him with his infectious giggles. This was getting ridiculous. He composed himself, made his face as serious as possible and looked up at Neymar.

"Come on, we need to go."

"Okay," Neymar said, smile charmingly lopsided, biting his bottom lip a little. It was kind of...flirtatious. As if that wasn't bad enough, he reached out and took Leo's hand.

And Leo let him. Because it was nice. Warm hand steadily clasping his, and leading him out of the room. As if it was totally normal, walking hand in hand down the hallways. Neymar only let go when they left the building and walked across the training grounds towards their teammates.

*

Leo lay on the big sofa, legs stretched out. Everything was shit. He was trying not to sulk, not to take it too badly. But who was he kidding? He could allow himself a day or two of sulking, surely.

It was good to see Andres and Geri, but he was happy when they left. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, and of course they completely understood. His brother was already in the house, cooking for him in the kitchen. That part was nice. He loved his brother's cooking, and he had demanded something totally unhealthy. His sister-in-law would arrive soon with the kids. He sighed. He was in two minds about the family invasion, but he knew he would feel better with his niece and nephews running around. His parents were arriving from Argentina early the next morning. This part stressed him out a little. He loved seeing his parents, but he knew his mother was probably very upset on hearing about his injury. He sighed and turned over, looking at his phone again.

There were messages from all his teammates. From Neymar too, but it was some time ago. Leo felt impatient with himself. What did he expect? For Neymar to drop everything and show up at his door? He had this strange, hollow disappointment in his heart. And he was annoyed with himself for having it. Because it was stupid and irrational. He wondered if he should reply to his messages. But there were so many, and he didn't want to start. He had told Geri to thank everyone and that he would probably see them the next day.

After eating and talking to his brother for a while, Leo went to bed early. No need to prolong this horrible day. He couldn't fall asleep despite the pain medication and he lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. This is what he hated, after all. Stupid thoughts invading his head. 

Why hadn't he called? Why hadn't he messaged? He was always texting, so wasn't it strange that he hadn't messaged after that initial message of concern? But the biggest question of all:  _Why did it bother him so much?_

It was one of those things that Leo didn't want to think about, analyse, or unpack in his head. He was close to Neymar, more than friendly. Lately they'd had some nice moments together. They were definitely getting close, and he could imagine telling Neymar things that he might not tell others. He could imagine them becoming very close. But there was something else there that he didn't dare confront. And him being upset - and  _he was upset, no need to deny it to himself_ \- about Neymar not showing more concern was part of that something. 

Were they flirting? Was there something going on between them? Was that a kiss Neymar gave him? Twice? Did it mean something that Neymar held his hand? Or was it just Neymar being Neymar? He was touchy-feely with everyone. Wasn't he?

_Is this how Leo was going to spend the next two months? Agonising like a teenager?_

He turned around and buried his face in his pillow. He needed to practice some meditation. And he needed to be more regular with it. It had always helped him, and now he needed it. Clearly.

And then his phone buzzed. He took a deep breath instead of lunging for it. Forcing himself to let a few moments pass, he finally picked it up and looked at it. It was Neymar.

_Can I call you?_

Leo felt happiness and relief wash over him. Really, his reaction to the text was rather too much. He was grinning. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths.

_Yes_

The phone rang. He let it ring twice and then answered it.

"Hey."

"Leo!"

"Hi Ney. How are you?"

"How are  _you?"_

He sounded so worried, so obviously concerned that Leo smiled even harder. He tried to keep his voice neutral, his immediate instinct being to not worry Neymar too much.

"I'm fine. It's not too bad. My brother is here and my parents are coming."

"Shit! Are you really okay? Geri said you're fine but are you really?"

He sounded even more anxious, if anything.

"Ney, it's okay. I'm okay," he tried again to reassure him.

"I thought so but then your whole family..."

"Hey," he cut in gently, "They just...they don't really have to come, but they're just like that, you know? It doesn't mean I'm dying."

Neymar laughed shakily.

"Leo, don't even say that."

"Are you okay?"

"Am  _I_ okay? Don't worry about  _me_."

"Okay, I won't."

"Leo..." His voice was so soft, lingering over his name, rolling it over in his mouth. Leo felt a little shiver go through him.

"Hmm?"

"It sucks."

"I know."

"I'm so sorry for you."

"I know."

"I'm so..." Suddenly he raised his voice, "I'm so fucking worried about you, Leo!"

_Then why didn't you call me before?_ Leo wanted to ask, but he bit it back.

"Don't worry Ney, it's just football. It happens, remember? I'll recover soon, and I'll be back before you know it."

Funny how he was the one comforting Neymar. It made him smile.

"Leo, I know it's not the end of the world. And you'll recover just fine, and you'll be as good as new. I just feel...I know how it feels. I know you're not okay, and you go crazy when you can't play. You don't have to be all 'everything is fine, I'm fine', all the time. It's  _me_!"

"It's you huh?" Leo chuckled.

On the other end, he could hear Neymar laughing softly. He wished he was with him in the room, laughing with him, so he could see his eyes light up.

"Yeah. It's me. Remember me?"

"How could I not?"

"I don't know Leo. You were going to not take me to Mars. Remember?"

"I never said I wouldn't take you to Mars."

Neymar laughed softly again.

"Leo, please tell me. Are you really okay?"

"I'm really okay."

"I want to see you."

_Why didn't you come and see me then?_ Leo wanted to ask, but he held back.

"Why?"

Butterflies were running riot in his stomach.

"What do you mean  _why_? I think I can figure out if you're really okay when I see your face. You're probably a terrible liar."

"Hmm."

How to tell him that he wanted to see him too?

"You'll see me soon," Leo finally said.

"Ugh it sucks." He sounded impatient and fretful.

"Ney, don't be so upset. It's normal, it happens."

"But it's so boring!" Neymar blurted out and Leo laughed at how childish he sounded.

"Boring? Why?"

"Leo, you're the best football player in the whole world. It's boring when you don't play. I love watching you, you're amazing."

"Oh."

He felt a bit disappointed, tired of hearing the "best footballer in the world" line. It was great that he entertained people and all that, but he wanted...he wanted...what was it? He was tired of his thoughts, tormenting him like this.

"Hey, I should try to sleep okay?"

"Oh of course, sorry I was going on and on!"

"That's okay. Thanks for calling. Goodnight."

"Leo..."

"Hmm?"

"I...I wanted to..." Neymar let out an embarrassed laugh.

"What?"

"I don't know how to put this."

"Put what?"

"I was going to come over right away after the match."

Leo could feel his heart rate picking up a little.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I...and then Geri gave us all a big lecture about how he and Andres were going to go see you, and your brother was coming over. And you were probably super upset and you never liked people crowding around you when something happened..."

"Oh."

Leo exhaled deeply a few times. So it all made sense. 

"He actually cornered me right after and told me, especially you Ney! You better not send him a hundred messages and go over like a little puppy! He won't like it and you'll upset him more."

Leo laughed out.

"It's true. He really said that!"

"I believe it. He's really overprotective."

"He's annoying! He acts like he's the only one who knows you and knows what's best for you..."

They laughed together and Neymar spoke again after a few moments of silence.

"He probably does know best but I don't want you to think that I wasn't thinking about you. I was."

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking about you all day. Ever since you left the pitch...I could hardly even focus on the game."

"Ney..."

"I know. It's very unprofessional. And I played like shit. But it's true, so what can I say?"

"Don't worry about me Ney."

"That's easy to say, isn't it? So just because you say don't worry, I'm going to not worry?" He almost sounded annoyed.

"I just meant..."

"I miss you so much already Messi."

He could hear Neymar letting out a shaky breath.

"You'll see me," he managed to let out, barely.

"When?"

"Soon. I...you can come and see me."

"When?"

"Whenever you want."

"Right now?"

Leo laughed in response.

"I mean it!"

"You're crazy."

"I'm not crazy. I just want to see you."

The way his stomach was contracting was almost painful. He took a deep breath.

"I want to see you too..." It came out as a whisper.

"Okay. Okay Leo. I'm coming over then."

Leo laughed again.

"Ney!"

"What? Why can't I come over if we both want to see each other?" He was joking but he almost sounded a little sulky.

"Because that would be...unprofessional."

Neymar laughed out loud and Leo joined in. He felt lighter and happier, all the tension of the day draining out of him. He still had a lot to go through, to work through his recovery. But knowing that Neymar wanted to see him, that he was concerned and worried, made everything so much more bearable.

"Goodnight Ney."

"Goodnight Messi. I'll see your cute face soon."

Leo smiled as he hung up the phone and pulled the blanket over himself.

*


	5. Chapter 5

His family had taken over his house, and it felt nice. He wished his nephew would stop watching the highlights of the match against Bayer Leverkusen over and over again, though.

"Look Uncle Leo! That's when he dedicates the goal to you!" he shouted, for the tenth time. And Leo smiled at Luis holding ten fingers up to the camera after his match winning goal.

"Because Uncle Leo is number 10. That's the best number in football," the boy explained to his younger cousin.

Leo stood up slowly, holding on to the sofa, and the boy quickly handed him his crutches. Even though Leo had no problem reaching them himself.

"Thank you love," Leo said to him, heart warmed that everyone was trying to take care of him in their own way.

He walked outside slowly, to the garden where his parents were having coffee. He hated the little flash of worry on his mother's face every time she set eyes on him. He tried to smile at them reassuringly.

This was the hard part about people. You had to mask your feelings so that they didn't feel bad for you. You had to mask your feelings if you wanted to keep any part of yourself just for you. And sometimes it was too hard, and tiring. He wondered how someone like him had become a public figure, watched and scrutinised by everyone. Even him limping out of hospital right after his injury had been captured on video and had made the rounds before the match was over with. And his mother had seen numerous photos of him lying on the pitch, face contorted in pain, before she arrived in Spain. He wished he could spare her all this.

"You're very thoughtful this morning," she said, pulling out a chair for him and trying to put cushions on it.

"I can sit by myself Ma, and I don't need three cushions."

"Do you want some..."

"I don't need anything Ma," he cut her off, and immediately felt bad. He sat down heavily.

"Is this your phone?" Leo's father asked.

"Ah that's where it is," he replied, reaching for it. One of the kids must have brought it outside.

"It keeps buzzing. Do you want me to check your messages?"

"I hurt my knee, I can still check my own messages!" Now this was getting a little irritating.

He glanced at his phone, trying to hide his sudden eagerness.

"Who keeps texting you son?" his mother asked teasingly.

He couldn't believe it. Was she really...?

"No one!" he snapped, sulkily.

"You're still like a teenager! You can tell us." His parents both laughed.

They rarely bothered him about his love life but he was well aware that they were a bit concerned about the fact that he was alone. It had been a while, a long while, since he'd been with anyone even remotely seriously. Certainly no one he was going to introduce to his parents.

His phone started buzzing and he grabbed it quickly before his mother could glance at it. Of course it was Neymar.

"Hey."

He noticed, with acute embarrassment, his parents exchanging glances.

"Leo! What are you doing right now? Can I come over?"

He could feel himself blush immediately, and how loud was Neymar! He was sure his parents could hear the whole thing. He couldn't even get up quickly and walk away, without it seeming like a big deal.

"Um hey. Just sitting here with my parents," he said, in a low voice.

"Ah! So how do you feel about hanging out with your parents and me? Right now?"

"What?"

"Well I'm here and you said come over any time. Remember? Good morning Juan, nice to see you again!"

Leo closed his eyes, groaning inwardly. He hung up the phone and called out to his nephew.

"Can you show Neymar in and give him a drink or something? I'll be there in two minutes."

"That boy really looks up to you, doesn't he?" his father said, thoughtfully.

His mother stood up.

"I'll give him a drink and send him out here. You just got settled here and it's a nice morning."

She gave her husband a look and he stood up too, saying something about a phone call.

A few minutes later Neymar showed up grinning, holding a big glass of orange juice.

"Your mom is so nice," he said, placing his drink on the table, and Leo rolled his eyes.

"Hey Leo hey, how are you feeling?"

Leo grunted in response. Neymar leaned down towards him and, expecting a kiss on the cheek, Leo turned his face up. But Neymar took his face in both hands and planted the softest of kisses on his forehead.

Then he dropped to the ground and cupped his hurt knee gently with both hands, and stroked lightly over it. He looked up, holding Leo's gaze. Leo felt a shiver pass through him.

And he couldn't look away. It was so intimate, the soft kiss on the forehead and this...whatever this was. He swallowed hard. Opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't think of anything to say. Neymar continued to kneel on the ground, skimming his fingers over his knee, staring at him with those eyes.

Finally he spoke.

"Tell me it's going to be okay," he said, his voice a little pleading.

Leo reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. His thumb rested on the edge of the V of his T-shirt, touching cool, bare skin. Leo moved his thumb slowly across, running over Neymar's sharp collarbone. He smiled when he saw Neymar's eyes flutter shut in response.

"It's going to be okay," Leo said, and Neymar opened his eyes. He flashed him a smile and stood up. He picked up the glass of orange juice and brought it towards Leo and Leo reached out a hand for it, but Neymar brought the glass right to his lips and gently tipped it. Leo took a sip. Then Neymar took a sip and sat down next to him. Their arms brushed very lightly against each other and Neymar moved his little finger a bit so it rubbed over Leo's. Leo found himself responding in kind, automatically, rubbing his finger against Neymar's. It was all instinctive, and they sat together quietly, touching slightly.

The garden was completely silent, and he couldn't even hear his nephews' shouts anymore. The atmosphere was thick with tension and Leo tightly held his breath in his chest. His eyes drifted sideways, landing on Neymar's shapely mouth.

He really wanted to kiss Neymar. Now he was sure of it.

*


	6. Chapter 6

Sometimes the painkillers hit him really hard, usually when he hadn't eaten properly prior to taking them. And there he was in a painkiller haze, probably quite early in the evening, and a shadow entered his room and hovered over him for a bit. Then he fell asleep.

Some time later Leo's eyes flickered open, and he adjusted his position to relieve the dull ache in his knee. His arm brushed over someone's warm skin and he glanced to the side to find Neymar fast asleep next to him. He slid carefully onto his side, so that they were face to face, and watched him carefully. Long lashes resting on brown skin, lips pouting a little, arm extended towards Leo, fingers almost touching Leo's fingers.

On the one hand Leo wanted him to wake up, to see those pretty hazel eyes running over his face searchingly. But on the other hand, he was quite happy to watch him so still and peaceful, breath coming in steady little puffs. It was so adorable.

He realised that once he'd admitted his infatuation to himself, it knew no bounds. He found himself grinning like an idiot to find Neymar lying next to him, so comfortable that he had actually fallen asleep. He wondered what the time was, how long he'd been in his bedroom. Had he tried to wake Leo up first or did he just slip into bed with him and decide to take a nap?

He moved his hand slightly, a couple of millimetres, and it was enough to brush against Neymar's extended hand. Immediately, Neymar clasped Leo's hand in his. He was still fast asleep. Leo's heart lurched and he entwined his fingers with Neymar's. Then Neymar, still fast sleep, yanked Leo's hand towards himself, pressing their entwined hands to his chest, just above his heart.

Leo smiled to himself and shuffled a little closer. He closed his eyes. He was still drowsy and he fell back asleep. Some time in the night, he became hazily aware of a shadow hovering over him again before leaving the room.

When Leo woke up, he was alone. He rubbed his eyes, wondering what was real and what he had dreamed. There was a message from Neymar on his phone.

"I came to see you before leaving for the match. You were completely out! I didn't want to wake you. I wish you were coming. I miss you!"

"What are you smiling about?" Leo's mother asked, as she came in, opening windows and rearranging things.

Leo groaned and buried his face in his pillow.

*

He had probably never thought so hard about what to write in a text message before. He knew Neymar was distraught, he could feel it in his bones. He played brilliantly against Sevilla, but luck was not on their side. It was one of those matches. Leo was pissed. The worst thing was not being on the pitch when the team suffered this way. But he knew Neymar was feeling the loss so much worse because he had given it everything. The hope drained out of him as he watched the minutes winding down. And he started to compose himself, think about what to say to his team, how to react with his family - who he could feel searching his face for signs - and, mostly, what to say to Neymar.

How to express all that in a text? How to tell him he knew how he was feeling without taking away from his pain? Finally he picked up the phone and dialled.

His fears were confirmed when Dani answered Neymar's phone.

"Hey Leo, he left his phone behind on the bus," he said, voice sombre, "he was pissed and I was calling him but he just rushed away."

After saying some halfhearted encouraging words to Dani, Leo hung up and thought about what to do. Finally, even though he really, really didn't want to, he called his brother upstairs and asked him to drive him to Neymar's.

His brother was good enough not to ask him too many questions, but the drive seemed unusually long and somewhat awkward.

"I don't know how long this is going to take so...can I call you back later?"

His brother looked at his watch and gave him a "are you kidding me" look briefly. But he agreed and reversed the car.

Leo stood outside the house, almost in darkness except for a few lights, leaning heavily on his crutches. He wondered if he was right to be here. As he was considering, the door opened and Neymar stopped on the threshold.

"Are you going to come in?"

Leo tried to read his tone, to figure out if he was welcome or not. But all he could sense was a profound weariness. His face was blank, not something he normally associated with Neymar. Leo didn't like it one bit, he felt desperate to make him smile.

"It...takes me a while..." he offered, hobbling forward on his crutches uncertainly.

Neymar's face and posture immediately changed. He looked concerned and he came outside quickly and put an arm around Leo.

"Here let me help you," he murmured, not particularly helping, "why did you come all the way Leo...I could've come..."

Leo found his heart completely melting. Here he was hurting from the match, yet fluttering around, trying to get him inside, and then getting him settled on the sofa, rearranging cushions, placing a footstool by his leg.

Finally Neymar sat down too, across from him, way too far away Leo thought. He looked even younger with the shaved head, yet so weary, too heavy around the eyes. Leo wanted Neymar to smile, more than anything. He cleared his throat.

"Aren't you going to say it's okay? That I played well? That these things happen in football?"

He buried his face in his hands.

"I'm sure everybody else told you that?"

Neymar looked up with a grimace.

"You're right."

"And I know you're not going to feel better."

"I'm sorry Leo. I'm sorry for letting you down."

Leo wanted to punch something. But of course Leo Messi didn't punch things. He swallowed it and erased any expressions that might give him away. He wished he could just say shit, like others did, like Neymar did.

"You're angry," Neymar said, thoughtfully, and then Leo realised he maybe wasn't as successful at hiding his emotions as he sometimes thought.

He sighed.

"Only that you think you let me down."

"I didn't?" And it killed him, how Neymar looked up at him with sudden hope lighting up his eyes.

"No..." Leo's voice was a hoarse whisper, and Neymar looked at him curiously.

"How come you're here Leo?" he asked, his voice full of significance.

What was he really asking?

Leo swallowed hard and looked down. He could feel Neymar's eyes boring into him.

"Leo..." Neymar whispered, "Leo, look at me."

And he just couldn't. He knew that if he did, he could no longer hide what he felt. So he continued to look down, almost feeling dizzy with the effort. He closed his eyes.

Neymar stood up and walked to him. He stood in front of him for a bit. Then he placed his hands on his head and forced him to look up. Leo kept his eyes closed until he heard Neymar giggling.

"Leo for fuck sake! This is getting ridiculous. Leo, look at me!"

And he did.

He could feel himself going red hot as he looked into Neymar's face. Neymar was smiling - and he loved seeing the smile back on his face - but his eyes were dark with pain.

"Tell me why you're here Leo."

He pulled Leo's face up, and it hurt a little.

"You know why," he managed to mumble.

"Tell me," he said, voice insistent, a little desperate.

Leo stood up then, shaking his head so Neymar would let go.

"Because I was worried about you, because I care about you. And because you're on my mind. All the time." He spoke recklessly, he didn't care anymore.

He reached up and cupped Neymar's cheek with one hand. And he kissed him. Softly on the mouth.

Of course Neymar wasn't surprised, he was practically challenging him to do it, but he gasped a little anyway. And as his lips parted, Leo flicked the tip of his tongue inside. Immediately he found Neymar's tongue, and immediately it responded by darting out and curling around the tip of Leo's tongue.

And oh how they both wanted it.

Neymar leaned down, one hand around Leo's waist and the other fisting desperately in his T-shirt. They sucked and twirled their tongues around each other, and Neymar's taste was so right, so good, that Leo had no space for thought inside his head.

Finally, they had to stop for breath and they panted hard into each others' open mouths. Leo let go of Neymar's face and wrapped his arms around his waist, holding him close.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," he murmured, stroking his back gently, as if comforting a child. Neymar clung to him and Leo could feel him shaking and he held him tighter.

"Leo..." he finally whispered.

"Yeah?"

He didn't let go even a little.

"Leo please stay here, stay with me tonight. I don't want to be alone."

Leo squeezed his arms tighter and Neymar's breath was shaky and heavy.

"Okay," he replied.

Then Neymar moved away from his hold and looked at his face. He was smiling, his eyes were smiling. And it made Leo smile too.

"You're a great kisser Messi," he said, eyes shining, biting his lip, tongue peeking out mischievously.

All Leo cared was that his smile was back, and he looked like himself again. And he closed his eyes as Neymar bent down to kiss him again.

*


	7. Chapter 7

His knee was throbbing when his eyes opened, bright sunlight filtering through the closed blinds. Neymar's room was huge and spacious, clothes flung about in every corner. Leo glanced to his side, smiling at the sight of Neymar curled up on his side. He was fast asleep.

He was filled with the urge to touch Neymar again, kiss him till he was breathless. Like last night. Neymar bent down to kiss him and it was like time stopped. Leo felt a shiver go through his body as he thought about it. Neymar's hot mouth, his tongue pushing inside his mouth insistently. Breathy little moans Neymar made into his mouth, hands fisting into his shirt, thumb feeling up the ridges of his stomach muscles.

They'd moved to the sofa and Neymar let Leo sit back and leaned over him, kissing his lips softly, flicking his tongue in and out of Leo's mouth delicately. They settled down in the sofa comfortably, and Neymar rested his head on Leo's shoulder. They both fell asleep at some point and Leo woke up to Neymar whispering to him, kissing him all over his face. Then they went to bed and fell asleep again.

Leo could see his phone on the night stand, light blinking. He really didn't want to check his messages, it was probably his brother or his parents. Wondering what the hell happened to him. Suddenly he felt stressed out. What was he going to do? About this whole...thing? He closed his eyes and pressed his palms to his face. This was going to be so messy.

Suddenly he felt cool hands on his hands, prying his fingers away from his face.

"Good morning handsome." Neymar's throaty voice sent another shiver through him.

Before he could open his eyes, Neymar's lips were on him, kissing his eyelids.

"How long have you been up?"

Neymar rested his chin on Leo's chest and smiled at him sleepily. His eyes were so beautiful, his smile hypnotic. Leo felt a knot forming in his stomach. Suddenly he was so nervous and confused. Neymar confused the hell out of him.

More so when he leaned in to kiss him. But he froze when someone knocked on the door.

"Just a sec," he whispered, and scrambled off the bed. He had a brief conversation at the door and came back.

"Marta says your brother is downstairs. And do you want coffee? Are you hungry?"

Leo sat up quickly, grimacing from the sudden pain that shot through his knee. Neymar was on the bed immediately, kneeling next to him.

"Are you okay?"

He looked so concerned that Leo leaned forward and quickly kissed him.

"I just need to eat something and take some medicine. That's probably why my brother is here. Who's Marta?"

"Oh Marta is my mama away from home. She cooks and stuff, household things. Keeps all my stuff together."

"Oh."

"Why don't you stay here and I'll tell your brother you're asleep? He can leave your medicine?"

"But why?"

Neymar gave him a look.

"Because I don't want you to leave just yet. Okay? Let's have breakfast together."

"Okay."

Neymar got off the bed and walked towards the door.

"Ney, wait!"

He stopped and glanced back, and he was so beautiful that Leo almost gasped. He tried not to be too obvious about it as his eyes trailed over his lean, muscled body, all slim legs and brown skin, ass pert in tight black briefs. The smile Neymar gave him told him that he'd completely failed at being not-obvious.

He hesitated for a bit.

"I...I think I should go. Otherwise I'll have to explain things to everyone at home and..."

He trailed off uncertainly, heart sinking at noticing Neymar's face fall a little. But Neymar still kept up his smile.

"Okay Leo. We can do breakfast some other time. At least we get to spend time together during international break right?"

"Right," Leo replied, a vaguely uneasy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach.

*

Luis Suarez was an encyclopaedia of bad jokes. Who would have guessed it? He was one of the most thoughtful and mature people Leo had met, he'd gone through a lot in his life. But he could also be really silly. So Leo was laughing at some joke or the other as Luis drove into the parking lot of the training grounds. He lived down the road from Leo and he had insisted that he would be driving him to his physiotherapy sessions.

He helped Leo out of the car carefully and suddenly Neymar was in front of them, grinning and brimming with energy.

"It's not like our national teams have world cup qualifiers to play in right?" he shouted sarcastically, hugging Luis.

Leo felt himself being gripped hard around the waist. And then Neymar kissed him on the cheek, so close to his mouth that Leo could feel his lips tingle in anticipation. He started, flushing hot. Luis had already started walking ahead of them, and Neymar was still holding on to him, nuzzling his neck affectionately.

"What are you doing?" Leo muttered, drawing back.

"What do you mean? Relax, I always hug and kiss you, don't I?"

Neymar's arm was resting on the small of his back and Leo moved away awkwardly. Neymar pulled him back, wrapping his arm firmly around his waist.

"Anyway so what? It's just Luis."

"What do you mean so what? And we're in the parking lot!" Leo whispered furiously.

They had reached the building and Neymar let go, clicking his tongue impatiently.

"Whatever," he muttered childishly when Leo said goodbye at the entrance.

Leo's brother came to pick him up after his session and Leo was sullen throughout the ride back.

"I think I'll take everyone shopping today, and maybe for a movie," his brother finally said, as they got home.

Leo looked at him gratefully.

"You'll be okay at home? Or...do you want to come?"

Leo snorted.

"Hell no."

His brother laughed.

"I thought so."

But of course he couldn't enjoy his solitude for more than an hour or so before Neymar showed up, bursting with energy like a puppy. Leo tried not to resent his energy, as he was forced to be immobile for long stretches. He was really starting to feel restless and irritated. Kun had called and told him he missed him, which made him feel a little worse. He missed Kun too. He missed football.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Neymar said, grinning and not looking sorry at all.

"I'm sorry baby..." he said, voice getting a little more serious. He was eyeing Leo hungrily and Leo swallowed hard. Neymar had this look in his eyes as he slowly approached the sofa Leo was sprawled over, and he could feel arousal swirling deep inside his stomach.

Leo reached out a hand and Neymar took it, interlacing their fingers together and coyly biting his bottom lip. Leo could feel himself getting hard. He wanted to suck on that bottom lip, bite it. Instead he drew Neymar's hand to his lips and kissed his fingers.

Neymar leaned down and kissed him chastely on the lips and straightened up again.

"I won't try anything. Someone might see." He grinned mischievously.

Leo pouted and let go of his hand. He looked away to the side as Neymar laughed.

"Sorry sorry sorry," he said, between fits of giggles. He bent down again and kissed Leo on the cheek, and then on the neck. When Leo didn't react, crossing his arms over his chest for good measure, Neymar licked lightly under his jaw and then sucked the spot gently.

Leo was definitely hard now. He gave up on sulking and put his arms around Neymar's neck. 

Instead of kissing him immediately, Neymar joined their foreheads together for a moment and breathed hotly over his mouth. His arms were braced either side of Leo's head, so that he was leaning over him without putting any weight on his body.

When he spoke, his lips brushed over Leo's.

"I miss you at training. I miss you all the time. Come back soon Messi."

Leo ran his hands up and down Neymar's scalp, too overwhelmed and aroused to speak. Neymar placed little darting licks all over his mouth.

"It's not the same without you. I miss you so much."

Leo caught Neymar's bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled gently. Neymar moaned softly, and Leo became even more aware of how hard his cock was.

Neymar settled on the sofa and Leo turned to face him. They made out, kissing sloppily, grabbing at each other's shirts without really getting anywhere. Neymar ran his hands through Leo's hair over and over again. He carefully leaned him back on the arm of the sofa and began to suck slowly down his throat. 

Leo put a hand on Neymar's head and pulled him back.

"What?" Neymar whined, still tonguing at his neck.

Leo could barely speak. He lifted himself up a bit and nibbled on Neymar's ear. Neymar groaned loudly.

"I...I just...can you not leave marks where they can be seen," he finally managed to say and Neymar laughed out loud. 

He withdrew and looked into Leo's eyes.

"You're so fucking paranoid!"

Leo was a bit annoyed but he was too hot to care too much. So he grabbed Neymar by the neck and pulled him down. He caught his earlobe in his mouth and twirled his tongue around the diamond stud.

Hearing the way Neymar moaned every time he touched his ear, Leo turned Neymar's head to the side and dragged the tip of his tongue over the skin behind his ear.

Neymar groaned loudly, like someone was physically hurting him, and as he leaned down on Leo's body, he could feel Neymar's hard-on pressing on him.

Leo felt giddy and lightheaded.

"So you like that then?" he said teasingly. 

Neymar pulled back to look at him and his eyes were glazed with arousal.

"Oh yes baby, you found my weak spot," he whispered.

He kissed him, pushing his tongue in and out of Leo's open mouth. It was a little obscene, like fucking his mouth with his tongue, and Leo gladly accommodated it, hollowing his cheeks.

Neymar was crouched over him, half his body pressing on him, gripping his hair on both sides and thrusting his tongue in and out of Leo's mouth over and over. Leo started lapping up with his tongue every time Neymar's tongue entered his mouth, and it was so hot that his head was spinning. 

The position was uncomfortable and he could feel it in his knee a little but he just couldn't stop, Neymar's warm tongue tasted just too good. But eventually Neymar slowed it down, burying his face into his neck, licking and sucking on his skin gently.

"Oh oh Leo..." he groaned, as if with great effort, and Leo realised he was rubbing at his hard cock through his jeans. 

"Ney..." he whispered, catching his hand and pressing down.

"Ohhh...Leo..." Neymar grinded up into Leo's hand, groaning, nipping at his neck.

Then he abruptly got up, and scooted to the other end of the sofa. They stared at each other for a moment, hair messed up, panting with lust.

"You have no idea what I want to do to you right now," Neymar said hoarsely, eyes blazing.

Leo could feel the heat rising to his cheeks.

"What?" he whispered, unable to tear his eyes from Neymar's eyes.

"Really filthy stuff."

"Yeah? Like what?"

Neymar closed his eyes and moaned, palming at his cock.

"Baby, we can't. I don't want to...hurt you. It's...I want to, I want you so bad. But I need to take care of you."

Leo smiled. As much as he was desperately turned on, he was also a little relieved. It was also really sweet of Neymar to think of his injury. His heart filled with fondness.

He reached out and Neymar took both his hands. They maintained distance, the stroking together of fingers their only contact, as they considered each other.

"Do you want me Messi?" 

Leo looked down, suddenly feeling bashful. He squeezed Neymar's hands.

"What do you think?"

"You don't believe in spelling things out, do you?"

"I want you," he said, looking up defiantly into Neymar's eyes. He was determined to hold his gaze but just looking into those eyes disoriented him, made him feel like he was stumbling.

"I should go," Neymar finally said, reluctantly.

Not that he wanted Neymar to go, but Leo was a little relieved. This was all getting very overwhelming and his family would probably be back soon.

They kissed again, slowly, gently, and a little cautiously. Neymar pointedly kept his hands to himself. 

He stood up to leave, looking down at Leo fondly, smiling.

"Hey you're adorable, you know that?" he said, and Leo found himself blushing again.

"You're beautiful," he said. He was surprised by himself and Neymar looked surprised too. He leaned down and kissed Leo quickly on the forehead, as if it was hard for him to take the compliment.

"You're seeing your physio tomorrow same time right? Tell Luis I'll pick you up instead?"

Leo agreed and Neymar left soon after. That last detail made the sense of uneasiness return to Leo's stomach. Why should Neymar go out of his way to pick him up when Luis lived in the same neighbourhood? It was a little too much. His family came back soon after, and he didn't have time to give it much thought. He couldn't go and hide in his room because his nephews were so excited to tell him about the movie they saw.

His mind constantly went to Neymar. Neymar's touch, his hot, probing tongue, his eyes. And he found himself smiling to himself, lips tingling, body tingling where he'd touched him. But there was undeniably a certain feeling of dread inside him.

What was going to happen? What was he even doing?

*


	8. Chapter 8

"I miss you, you know that?"

Leo squeezed his eyes shut tightly, counting the seconds of silence on the other end. Finally Kun sighed.

"It's times like this when I wish I'd never left Spain. We could have been miserable injured together."

Leo smiled to himself.

"Yeah but if you'd never left..."

"I know, I know. Too many ifs."

Leo tried to hold back but a heavy sigh escaped him.

"Are you alone now?" Kun asked, gently.

"It was getting too much for me so, yeah. I'm better now anyway. And my brother is still dropping by."

He could hear Kun chuckling a little.

"Your mom told me you kicked them out."

"Oh. She still calls you, huh?"

"You know she does."

The silence was a bit heavy after that. They hung up soon after and Leo took a nap. When he woke up, the house was silent and in semi darkness. It hadn't been this quiet in weeks.

Leo sighed and his eyes closed again, ready to fall back asleep. But he could hear the soft purr of a car coming up the driveway, and he straightened up.

He wasn't surprised at all to see Neymar walking into the living room, smiling brightly. Leo rubbed his eyes and reached out his arms and Neymar walked straight into them, leaning on him lightly, his arms closing tightly behind Leo's back, lifting him up from the sofa a little bit.

"Hey."

"Hey sleepyhead."

Neymar straightened up, mussed up Leo's hair a little and kissed him. His lips were so soft and warm. Leo reached up a little, chasing Neymar's mouth. Their lips clung together.

Neymar laughed softly and plopped down next to him, taking his hand.

"Alone in your fortress again?"

"Yeah."

"I wanted to ask you something. Do you want to go out maybe? For dinner or something?"

Leo tensed up a little and Neymar dropped his hand.

"We don't have to. Just thought I'd take you out for dinner, get out for a bit. But we can order in if you like."

"I'm sorry Ney, I just don't feel like..."

"It's okay!" Neymar said quickly, taking his hand again.

"It's boring for you, isn't it? Staying in with me?"

"What? Are you serious?"

Neymar kissed his hand softly.

"You don't have training tomorrow, you should be out enjoying yourself."

"I don't want to, if you're not with me."

Neymar kissed his hand again, this time lingering a little, nibbling on his fingers. Leo absently pushed a finger into Neymar's mouth and he sucked on it slowly.

"Still... I don't want you to feel like you have to be here." His voice came out cracked and hoarse, as Neymar continued to suck on his finger.

His cock was getting hard, and he thrust his finger in and out of Neymar's mouth. Neymar started to slurp messily on it and Leo felt hazy with lust. Just as a moan escaped him, he heard his phone buzzing somewhere.

Neymar reached to his side and grabbed his phone from the end of the sofa. He glanced at it quickly and read the text out slowly.

"I think I forgot to tell you earlier. I miss you too cariño."

Neymar handed the phone to Leo and he snatched it from him. He blushed as he felt Neymar's enquiring eyes on him.

"Don't read my texts," he said softly.

"I'm sorry Leo. I didn't mean to. I just saw it and..."

He trailed off.

"It's okay," Leo mumbled and took Neymar's hand. He flinched as Neymar pulled his hand away.

"Who was that from anyway?"

Leo looked up at Neymar's face. He was frowning, looking uncertain. He hated that look on his face.

"It was from Kun. You know we..."

"Ah okay. I know you're great friends."

"Yeah. You know he's injured too. And I was talking to him earlier."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

Leo sighed and leaned back on the sofa. He felt bad for no reason. It was just that Neymar looked so deflated.

"Hey, do you want to go out for that dinner?" he said, finally.

Neymar smiled, eyes shining.

"No, no. But thanks for asking baby."

Neymar leaned in and kissed his cheek and cuddled into his chest. Leo played with his scalp, scratching lightly.

They ordered in and Neymar left after some time. Later at night, Leo got a text from Neymar.

"No training for three days, flying out to Brazil tonight! Last minute plan! See you when I get back!"

For a few minutes, Leo didn't know what to do with all his feelings. He was disappointed but a little relieved. He also had the idea that this had something to do with Neymar seeing Kun's text earlier and feeling...what? Jealous? He sighed. This is what was so hard about people, and why he preferred to keep to himself.

"Have fun. I'll miss you." He finally texted back.

He waited for a few minutes but there was no response from Neymar. He sighed and got ready for bed.

*


	9. Chapter 9

Leo looked around for his phone. He couldn't get up because of the contraption strapped to his leg, and suddenly everyone had left the room. He was stuck on the bed for a while and felt impatient and irritable.

Neymar hadn't called or texted for the last few days. But then he hadn't either. Leo knew he was back in Barcelona and had training this morning. He was a little upset at being ignored but the more he thought about it, the more he understood. And that's all he'd been thinking about for the past three days.

He knew there was nothing going on between himself and Kun. Not anymore. But Neymar didn't. So he was a little insecure. Leo just had to reassure him. He felt impatient to text him, suggest they go out for lunch. Or go back to his place. Talk. Anything. He cursed his physio, and everyone else who had left him here all alone. To be fair, they all probably thought they were doing him a favour by giving him space.

He closed his eyes. The minutes dragged.

"Hey..."

Leo's eyes snapped open. And like a burst of sunshine, Neymar's smiling face was peering around the the door. Leo couldn't stop the huge grin from stretching across his face.

They regarded each other for a few moments.

"Come here," Leo finally said.

"Are you sure?"

"What? Why wouldn't I be sure?"

Neymar hung onto the doorframe, expression a little sheepish.

"Because I've been a dick."

"Ney?"

"Yeah?"

"Come here!"

Neymar grinned and bounded into the room like an excited puppy. Leo started to sit up, but was quickly engulfed in a huge hug, with Neymar's body pressing down on him. His arms came around Leo's body and held him tight.

Neymar finally let go and backed away from the bed, grinning happily, looking shy and adorable.

"Come here," Leo whispered.

Neymar bit his bottom lip, and his face grew serious.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you."

He looked at the ground.

"Come here."

He looked up and Leo gestured with his hand. It was like beckoning a scared child. Neymar finally shuffled over and Leo took his hand.

"Are you done with training?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be done here in about half an hour. Do you have any plans?"

"I did plan to hang out with you."

"Good. Shall we go out for lunch?"

"I asked Marta to make some lunch for us at home."

Leo smiled.

"Is that okay?"

"It's more than okay."

He pulled on Neymar's hand and as he leaned down, Leo pulled his head down and kissed him. Neymar's hands came to rest lightly on his chest and it felt hot where he touched him.

They sprang apart when they heard footsteps coming down the corridor. Leo smiled as he watched Neymar's flushed face, as he struggled to compose himself.

"I'll drive you when you're done here!" he said brightly, greeting the physio on his way out of the room.

*

Leo lay on Neymar's bed, on the verge of falling asleep after the delicious Brazilian meal. Neymar had told him Marta was going to clean up downstairs so they needed to get out of her way. Leo lazily wondered if this was just a ploy to get him into bed.

"I missed you Leo."

Leo opened his eyes. He must have briefly fallen asleep. Neymar was on the bed next to him, stretched out in only his briefs. Leo couldn't help his eyes running over the slender body, muscled brown limbs. God, he was beautiful.

He reached out and ran his fingers over his arms. Neymar caught his hand.

"Did you miss me at all?"

Leo swallowed hard.

"No I didn't."

"No?"

Neymar interlaced their fingers together and scooted closer. Leo was finding it hard to keep talking. He just wanted to kiss that smooth skin stretched tight across his abdominal muscles.

"No, I didn't have time to miss you actually. I was busy. Playing a lot of football."

Neymar moved even closer and put an arm around Leo. He buried his face in Leo's neck.

Leo wanted to tell him he missed him. That the thing with Kun was long in the past. That he had nothing to worry about. But he just kept quiet and rubbed Neymar's head gently.

"Just say you missed me too," Neymar whispered, lips hot on his skin.

Leo's hand fell to Neymar's neck, squeezing a little. He kissed the top of his head. After what seemed to be an unbearable amount of time, Leo finally spoke in a strangled voice.

"I missed you too."

Neymar moved even closer and hooked his leg around Leo's waist. He nibbled at Leo's neck.

Leo caressed his thigh slowly, feeling his cock hardening as Neymar pressed closer against him.

"Kiss me baby," Neymar whispered, before moving his face against Leo's, delicately flicking his tongue out and licking around his mouth.

Leo was getting used to it. Used to having someone close to him, someone in his physical space, someone he couldn't help responding to, couldn't stop from manhandling him. He liked it. He missed Neymar when he wasn't there. He missed his touch even when he left him for a few minutes.

He parted his lips and Neymar's tongue immediately swept into his mouth. Leo kissed him back fiercely, holding his face tightly in his hands. He didn't want to let go, ever.

When he finally stopped and backed away a little, Neymar was gasping for breath, eyes wide and surprised.

"Leo..." he began, and Leo kissed him again, this time pulling on his lower lip with his teeth. He felt emotional, Neymar was making him feel too many overwhelming things. He hadn't thought this through. This was too much, too rash.

He couldn't stop kissing Neymar, until both of them were flushed and hard, lips raw and tingling.

"Even if you didn't say it, I would be able to tell," Neymar whispered, staring at Leo with glazed eyes, grinning stupidly.

Leo had no doubt that he had an equally stupid grin on his face.

"Tell what?"

"That you missed me."

Leo looked down, and Neymar put a finger under his chin and pushed his face up.

"Messi..."

"Hmmm."

"I think I'm falling for you."

Leo closed his eyes and Neymar kissed his eyelids softly. He literally couldn't speak, so he wrapped Neymar into his arms and held him close, very close, as close as was humanly possible.

"Me too," he wanted to scream out, but something inside wouldn't let him, so he held Neymar tighter and hoped he would get it. They were so close together that he couldn't even make out if it was him trembling or Neymar.

Neymar gently flipped him onto his back and straddled him, running his hands down his chest slowly.  He just watched Neymar's body moving gracefully over him, swaying coolly like a dancer. He had a lopsided smile, his eyes blazed, pupils dilated.

Leo could feel Neymar's hard cock pressing on his. He ran his fingers up and down his smooth, muscular thighs and he gasped as Neymar rubbed his nipples through his thin T-shirt.

He wanted him so much, so much.

"I want you so much," he whispered, surprising himself.

Neymar responded by grinding down on his cock. The friction made them both moan out.

"Why are you wearing all this?" he grumbled, manhandling Leo out of his T-shirt. He was a lot more gentle when he removed his shorts and briefs. Then he proceeded to remove his own briefs. When he was done, Leo sat up and grabbed him by the waist and pushed him down on the bed. Something about seeing Neymar's cock, hard and leaking a little, made him lose it. He held him down by the hips and sank down on his cock, tongue flicking licks all along the length.

Neymar moaned loudly and held Leo's head down. He tasted so good, and Leo had wanted this for so long. He never wanted to come up for air. Except that Neymar was tugging him up gently.

"Leo...Leo...no, no...we can't, you can't... You can't put pressure on your knee...we have to..."

And Leo was back on his back, with Neymar straddling him. He leaned down and nipped at his lips.

"But I liked where you were going with that..."

"Oh yeah?"

"I could have just let you go on, you know."

"I wish you had."

"You wanted to keep sucking me?"

"Yes, yes...oh..."

Neymar was sucking gently under his jaw.

"How about I suck you this time?"

"It's not fair."

Neymar giggled and Leo felt a flutter in his heart. He reached up and cupped Neymar's face, pushing a thumb into his mouth. He immediately started sucking it, and Leo laughed.

"You're really dirty, aren't you?"

Neymar grinded down sensuously, two hard cocks against each other.

"You have no idea."

"I look forward to finding out."

Neymar's eyes fluttered shut briefly. He moved off and turned around.

"Try not to move too much baby," he said, as his mouth sank down on Leo's cock.

And it was...oh...

He needed this. He needed it much more than he'd realised. Neymar's mouth was hot like fire, wet, slurping, moving up and down expertly.

The way he was positioned above Leo, his cock was right above his face, a bead of precome glistening at the tip. Leo stretched out his tongue and gathered the drop into his mouth. And it wasn't enough. He arched up and took Neymar's cock into his mouth.

"Baby, be careful," Neymar mumbled, lifting off his cock for just a moment. And Leo felt the moment keenly, he needed Neymar's mouth back on his cock.

Neymar did all the work and Leo lay back as his mouth descended on his cock over and over, and his cock pushed into Leo's mouth over and over, straight in and out in long, deep thrusts.

He let himself be sucked and fucked, let his senses be filled with the feel and sound and smell of Neymar. He was overwhelmed. They both struggled after a while, both aroused beyond belief, cocks just sliding in and out of mouths, stifling the loud moans that were filling the room.

Neymar tired a little and collapsed, sitting on Leo's face, undulating and grinding down desperately, making Leo gag a little. On the other end, he slurped on Leo's cock obscenely. Leo reached up and grabbed his ass cheeks, pressing him down harder on his face, into his mouth, making himself choke and enjoying the sensation too much to stop. Neymar sank down all the way, deep throating him. The feeling of Neymar's throat clenching around his cock sent him over the edge, and he came shuddering hard inside his mouth. At the same time, he could feel Neymar's hot come shooting out and hitting the back of his throat.

He swallowed and swallowed and he could feel Neymar wringing all the liquid out of him, and then his head just collapsing over him, his tongue gently flicking over his softening cock.

Neymar bit his bottom lip, looking at him mischievously, drawing a blanket over both of their sweaty bodies. It felt so natural how Leo spread his arm and Neymar cuddled inside, head resting on Leo's chest and hand seeking Leo's hand.

Leo held him close, breathing heavily.

"Hey, Leo..."

"Hmmm."

"Leo, Leo..."

His voice was sweet and singsong. Leo loved that he almost spoke like he was singing sometimes, moved like he was dancing. And now it was his name he sang.

"Yes...?" he whispered.

"Leo Messi, Leo Messi." Neymar dotted his chest with little kisses.

"Yes baby."

He felt Neymar go still. And then with a sudden movement, his chin was pressing into his chest, his eyes staring into Leo's eyes.

"You just called me...baby..."

"I did."

"For the first time."

"Was it?"

Neymar nodded enthusiastically. Leo very well knew that it was, and it had just slipped out. Despite the hint of panic starting to swirl inside his chest, it felt right. He focused on Neymar's catlike eyes. He found they made him feel calmer, which was new. And interesting.

"Well you are, aren't you?" he said, softly.

"Your baby?"

"Yes..."

"I want to be. If you're going to let me."

Neymar looked completely serious now, and Leo closed his eyes.

"I'll try," he whispered softly.

And he meant it with all his heart.

*


	10. Chapter 10

Most of the players were going off to the showers by the time Leo made his way to the locker room. There were hugs and greetings that he tried to get through quickly, eyes scanning the room restlessly.

Neymar was in a corner speaking excitedly to Douglas and Dani, and then the latter two clapped him on the back and went off.

Leo had been waylaid talking to some people after the match was over. He'd really wanted to get down here as soon as possible. He wanted to see him. And he wanted to feel and smell the grass and mud on him. And his sweat. He missed it all.

And there he was slouched on a bench, bare skin glistening, grinning deliriously, clutching the match ball. He dropped it when he saw him standing there, and the ball rolled to Leo's feet. He didn't even want to touch it for fear of what it would do to him right now.

He looked at Neymar.

"You'll be back soon," Neymar said, voice knowing and tender.

Leo smiled and kicked the ball slowly with his right foot. He juggled it twice and kicked it gently to Neymar. He caught it with his hands.

"And now it's been touched by Dios," he deadpanned, and kissed the ball.

Leo stepped towards him and Neymar stood up, eyeing him with a mischievous look in his eyes. Suddenly the urge was overwhelming. Leo stepped right to him and pressed him against one of the lockers.

Neymar looked surprised but recovered quickly, and put his arms tightly around Leo.

Leo pressed his face into Neymar's chest, just inhaling his scent for a few moments. His hands were gripping Neymar's shoulders tightly and he moved them around roughly, feeling the sinewy muscles of his arms and back. He was like a beautiful animal and Leo just wanted to fuck him right then and there.

Neymar was panting a little and rubbing his hands all over Leo's back. He leaned down until his lips brushed over his ear.

"That was for you, Leo," he whispered, nipping gently at his earlobe.

"No," Leo murmured into his chest, "that was for you. You're a beast."

He licked a thick line up his chest. Neymar shuddered and nipped at Leo's ear again, and this time it hurt. Leo cursed under his breath and pushed Neymar harder against the locker. He sucked along his throat, the delicate, soft skin, the salty taste and the slick of his sweat threatening to send Leo into a frenzy. His cock was getting hard.

"Kiss me, please kiss me," Neymar moaned softly. 

Leo held his throat gently, with both hands, and kissed him softly on the mouth. He watched intently as Neymar's eyes fluttered shut,  
he plumped his lips, bit over them, licked them. And then he parted his mouth expectantly, tongue running over the top lip. Leo plunged his tongue into his mouth, pressing his hard cock against Neymar. His hands roamed all over his chest and came to rest on his sharp hipbones. He gripped them hard on either side, and inserted a knee between Neymar's legs, parting them.

He could feel how hard Neymar was. He could fuck him right then and there. He wanted to. He fucking wanted to.

Neymar gripped his hair tight, clinging to his lips with a fierceness that made Leo even harder. They were grinding their hard cocks together now, kiss getting sloppy. 

Leo wasn't sure which one of them stopped or how. But their bodies momentarily stilled and they panted into each other's open mouths still pressed together.

"I can tell you really want to fuck me," Neymar whispered, slightly-hysterical sounding laughter escaping his lips.

Leo could not even speak, so distinct was the sensation of his wildly beating heart. 

"Is it because I scored four times?" Neymar was giggling helplessly now, shaking in Leo's arms.

"Why don't you do it again and we can find out?" Leo teased back.

He let go and backed away. The sound of footsteps and of voices started coming closer. Leo didn't want to stay there making small talk with everyone so he quickly turned to leave.

"Leo."

He turned around. Neymar looked at him seriously.

"I was thinking...some of us are hanging out at my place later tonight. Kind of a small celebration party? And some of my friends will be there too. I guess you don't want to come to the party? But I was thinking maybe you could come over afterwards? If you want?"

Leo looked at him carefully, feeling a little twinge at seeing the uncertainty clouding his eyes. 

"I...I'll come to your party," he said quickly, before he could change his mind.

Neymar's eyes immediately lit up, and he beamed at him. It was such a beautiful sight that Leo wondered if his heart was going to give in and just stop one of these days.

"Really?" he said, "I was going to settle for a booty call but if you don't mind coming, that's even better!"

"You deserve a celebration, Ney."

Neymar looked down, biting his lip.

"I...I haven't always stepped up. And I still need to..."

Suddenly the doors burst open and Leo was surrounded by everyone. He caught Neymar's eyes and shook his head, frowning. He felt like he really needed to talk to Neymar about all the pressure he put on himself. When he was so beautiful and pure, brimming with talent, just as he was.

But he probably wouldn't be able to find the right words.

His eyes lingered on Neymar for a moment, ignoring something loud Geri was saying to him. And Neymar looked back into his eyes, wry smile on his face. He blinked his eyes once, as if to indicate that he understood. For now. And then he turned away.

*


	11. Chapter 11

Leo sat in his car outside the house for a full five minutes, until he got a text message.

"I can see your car outside baby. Are you coming in or do I need to come and get you?"

That made him smile, anyway. He took a deep breath and opened the car door. Walking up to the front door, his heart sank as he heard loud music from inside. It seemed like a much bigger party than he had thought.

Neymar was standing at the front door, grinning. He quickly closed the door behind him and stepped forward. Before Leo could say anything, he had caught him in a tight hug, lifting him from the ground.

He didn't let go for a moment. And when he stepped back, Leo had to laugh. While he was wearing a crisp white button down shirt, Neymar had on tight jeans that were so ripped that the material barely hung together, and a thin, ripped black vest that covered almost none of his upper body.

"I wonder why you even bother wearing clothes..." Leo said.

"I could be insulted, but I'm going to take that as you wanting to see me naked," Neymar shot back.

Leo looked him up and down. The brown skin showing through all the various rips and tears in his clothes was indeed very tantalising. Neymar leaned on the door, staring at Leo, biting his bottom lip coyly.

"You look hot in white, Leo," he murmured.

Leo stepped up to him and placed his palms on either side of his body. Neymar leaned down and they kissed softly. His mouth was luscious and hot.

"Thanks for coming," he whispered against Leo's mouth, "come on, let's go inside before someone sees."

Leo nodded mutely, not moving, lips continuing to cling to Neymar's lips. Neymar gently pushed him away.

"Hey," he said, smiling, "I want you too."

Leo took a deep breath and shook his head, as if to wake himself from a trance. There was no doubt that Neymar made him very stupid.

He fixed Leo's hair a little bit and then turned around and opened the door. The sound of music and voices was dense, like entering a club. Leo followed Neymar through a throng of people he didn't recognise. He felt annoyed immediately. He wasn't in the mood for this. He thought it was going to be the team and a few friends of Neymar's, but he couldn't recognise anyone.

Somewhere in the crowd, he lost Neymar and he grabbed a bottle of water and tried to find a quiet place. He sat down in a semi-dark corner. A young kid came up to him, looking like he was about to have a nervous breakdown.

"Wow! Oh god! It's you! I'm a huge fan!"

He looked like he was about to fall to his knees and then he thought better of it, fumbling for his phone instead.

"Messi! Leo. Please, can I? It would make my day, my life!" He brandished the phone and Leo lifted his hand instinctively in front of his face.

Suddenly he was surrounded by similarly excited, very young people. This was a nightmare. He was practically being mobbed. In Neymar's house, of all places.

"Leave him alone boys. For fuck sake. He's not here to take selfies!"

The voice was familiar, and the crowd scattered. Leo looked up to see Geri looming over him.

Geri clasped him by the hands and hauled him up, pushing him towards the staircase.

"What are you doing down here? Jesus. We're all upstairs," he muttered, as they walked up to the second floor.

Entering a much more tranquil room upstairs, Leo felt relief wash over him as he saw his teammates. But he was extremely annoyed and completely regretted coming. He settled down between Masche and Geri, two people he was certain would not just leave him to fend for himself.

"Leo was getting eaten up by the children downstairs," Geri laughed, ruffling his hair and putting a protective arm around him. Leo shuddered and pressed closer into Geri's chest, clutching his shirt a little. He was used to people crowding his space, wanting a piece of him, but he hadn't been mentally prepared for this tonight. He felt shaken. Geri stroked his hand soothingly and Leo relaxed a little, loosening his hold on Geri's shirt.

"It was so annoying. My eyes still hurt from some kid's camera flash," Luis muttered.

"Why are people who are friends with Ney so star struck?" someone wondered.

"Oh they're not really his friends. He has a group of younger cousins visiting from Brazil and they decided to invite all their friends. They're just a bunch of children," someone explained.

"Oh hey you're here! I was looking for you!"

Leo looked up to see Neymar hovering, grinning, electric with energy. And he suddenly wanted to physically push him away. He tried to keep his expression neutral but he couldn't help frowning.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Neymar squatted to the ground and searched his eyes. He looked like he was about to reach for him but he quickly glanced up at Geri and seemed to change his mind.

Leo kept telling himself that it was no big deal but he could feel himself shaking with anger. Geri obviously felt it because he tightened his hold around his shoulder.

It was Masche who spoke, and although Leo couldn't see his face, he could hear the sternness in his voice.

"Why would you leave Leo down there? Do you think he came here to be hassled by a bunch of kids?"

"I'm sorry Masche. I mean I'm sorry, Leo. I was bringing you up here but then I lost you in the crowd..."

"Even so," Masche snapped, "you can't just..."

"It's okay," Leo cut in softly, putting a hand on Masche's arm. Neymar looked so downcast all of a sudden that he didn't want them to pile on.

Neymar looked at him gratefully.

"Leo," he said softly, "can I just talk to you? For a second? Upstairs? Please?"

Leo didn't really want to leave the safety of Geri's arms but he nodded and stood up. Geri gave him a questioning look, and Leo mouthed "it's okay" before turning to follow Neymar.

On the top floor, where Neymar's bedroom was, it was completely silent and mostly dark. You couldn't even tell there was a big party going on downstairs. It was cool and airy. Leo breathed easier, pacing about the huge room.

Neymar sat on the bed and watched him anxiously. He patted the space next to him and Leo sat down.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, in the semi-darkness.

"I just wasn't expecting...this," Leo mumbled, "Don't be sorry."

"It wasn't supposed to be like this! I just thought it would be fun for my little cousins so I told them they could call their friends but they went and called all their friends!" Neymar explained in a rush.

"Okay."

"So it's not a big deal right?"

That annoyed Leo again. His mind went to the beginning when he'd kissed Neymar at the door and it made him cringe.

"Yeah. I'm going to leave if that's okay."

"What?"

Neymar sounded genuinely shocked. His eyes glinted in the dark room, and Leo averted his eyes.

"Leo Leo...no no no," he murmured, and he reached out and encircled him in his arms.

Leo couldn't help himself from melting into his touch. And then Neymar was placing gentle kisses on his face, and along his neck. His kisses were warm and tender, no sense of urgency to his moves, just as if he was trying to soothe Leo and Leo finally dared to look into his eyes. Neymar looked back at him, lovingly, affectionately, and Leo felt calmer.

Neymar leaned down and kissed Leo softly, tentatively. And it was Leo who parted his mouth and invited Neymar's tongue in, sucking it gently. It was Leo who pressed closer, pushing Neymar's vest up and running his hands over his body.

Then somewhere seemingly far away, someone shattered a glass, or a bottle or something, and it was followed by the faint sounds of shouts and laughter, and it brought Leo immediately down to earth. He felt exposed and vulnerable all over again. He quickly stood up.

"Leo?" Neymar stood up too, sounding confused.

"I just don't...Let's not...not right now," Leo stumbled over his words.

"I thought you said we were okay."

"We are. But I just want to leave. Okay? We can talk in the morning and..."

He started moving towards the door.

"Leo stop!" And this time Neymar shouted angrily, and Leo stopped.

"Leo come on. I already explained what happened. Why are you holding this against me?"

"This isn't about you," Leo wanted to say, but he didn't want to have this conversation with Neymar. Not right now, anyway. With how different they were, he doubted he would even get it.

"I'm not. I just don't want to be here right now. Why don't we talk in the morning?" he said calmly.

"Let's talk now. I don't want you to leave angry," Neymar said, sounding a little desperate.

"I'm not. I just don't want to talk right now."

"Why are you so cold?" Neymar suddenly blurted out, sounding pissed off.

Leo took a deep breath to control himself, but it didn't work this time. He found it unfair how Neymar kept pushing him when all he wanted was some space to...

"And why are you so childish?" he said, before he could stop himself, "what's up with this big party, as if you just won a final or something?"

"Well some of us are normal and like to have fun once in a while!" Neymar shot back.

Leo turned around and left immediately. No way was he going to deal with this. It took him long enough to make his way downstairs, struggling to get out of the dark third floor, fumbling for light switches, taking a wrong turn. It was only when he was inside his car, driving home, that he finally took a breath.

A crashing wave inside his head, in his ears, blocking everything out. All he could think of was to wall himself inside. Inside himself, inside his house. He wanted to be alone. He craved it intensely.

Arriving at his gate, he ignored Juan signalling to him and went up the driveway. There was a car right in front of his front door, parked outrageously. He slammed his car shut and got ready to just walk past whoever the fuck this was. Not even say a word, fire Juan in the morning.

When he got closer, he peered at the silhouette in front of his front door. It couldn't be, but it was. Ripped jeans, ripped shirt, shaved head.

"How the fuck..." he whispered in shock, walking closer.

"I drove faster than you," Neymar replied.

"Even so how..."

He was close now and Neymar's eyes glistened damply.

"I didn't waste any time."

Leo smiled a little. He felt confused. He understood the need for solitude. It was something familiar, old, comfortable. Yet, to see Neymar on his doorstep was...

"Leo please don't tell me you've had enough of me."

Neymar's voice was broken, full of unshed tears.

It was almost laughable how much Leo hadn't had enough of Neymar. How stupid and wrong was the boy!

He shook his head and closed the distance between them. Neymar clung to him, arms around his neck, legs rubbing up against his thighs. Leo tried to kiss him but he buried his face in his neck and cried softly.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it," Neymar whispered, "I'm such an asshole. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too. How fast were you driving?" Leo murmured, opening the door, and gently guiding him inside.

Neymar wouldn't let go, and Leo rested him against the wall right next to the front door, and held him, stroking his head soothingly.

Later he fucked him against that same wall, desire welling up deep inside and taking over.

He stared at Neymar's ass as his cock slid in and out, the way he leaned his arms on the wall, the way his back arched, and his ass moved back and forth in time with his thrusts.

Their clothes lay in a pile on the floor, bottle of lube hastily retrieved from Neymar's jeans pocket. 

Leo kissed Neymar's shoulder as he pushed in deep and slow, his pace steady and unchanging. He held himself back from thrusting too hard or too fast, because of his knee, but also because he felt an unbearable tenderness towards Neymar.

He went deeper and deeper and Neymar moaned his name over and over. Only towards the very end, when Neymar had started writhing desperately under him, did Leo quicken his pace and wrapped his hand around Neymar's cock.

He used the slickness of the lube and precome to coat Neymar's cock and twist his hand up and down it. His other hand gripped his hip and he pushed in hard a couple of times. He felt emptied when he finally came, spurting into Neymar, body spasming and shuddering. Neymar cried out, spilling all over his fingers. He dropped to his knees and covered his face with his hands, body trembling.

Leo gathered him into his arms. Somehow they made their way to the living room and lay on the sofa, gripping each other, dirty with sweat and come. 

Neymar's face was streaked with tears and Leo kissed it all over, heart aching to see how his lashes were damp, how he looked young and so vulnerable.

"Leo..." he finally said, looking into his eyes a little shyly, "your knee..."

Leo felt himself blushing and Neymar grinned.

"It's okay, it feels fine," he said, trying to control his expression.

"And we took so long."

"It's really fine."

"I couldn't help it. I should have stopped you but I couldn't help it. In fact, I didn't even think of it once until just now!"

Neymar giggled helplessly.

"Wow. Shows how much you care."

Neymar's face grew serious.

"I do care..."

"I know you do. I was just joking."

Neymar cupped his face and looked at him thoughtfully.

"I care about you Leo. I care about you so much. I don't want to hurt you but I'm a stupid asshole."

"Are you kidding? I'm the asshole. I'm so weird with my...issues. And I don't blame you for..."

Neymar put a finger on his lips to stop him.

"Please Leo. I'm just trying to say that there are things about you I don't understand, but I want to. I want to be with you. Really be with you. Do you get it?"

Leo closed his eyes.

"Yes," he said, voice coming out in a faint whisper. 

He felt Neymar's warm lips on his eyelids.

"And do you think you're the only one with issues?"

"Yes," Leo said, smiling. He opened his eyes and Neymar was smiling at him, whole face lit up.

"Then you're stupid," he said, leaning down and pecking Leo on the lips.

Leo closed his eyes again. He found it much easier to talk that way.

"I care about you too Ney. And I'm really proud of you. For the last match but also in general. For everything. You...you're..."

And he felt Neymar's lips on him and stopped talking. Something told him Neymar also had his eyes tightly shut at this moment, both too overwhelmed to look at each other.

*


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, just want to mention that in this chapter there is a very small reference to an implication of mistreatment in a previous relationship. It's a very mild reference but wanted to warn those who might be affected by it.
> 
> Hope you've been enjoying the last few chapters. Thanks so much for reading so far and for all the kudos and comments. xoxo

"I guess my media person is just more savvy than yours?"

Leo couldn't understand why Neymar was grinning, as if nothing was wrong. He paced around his bedroom nervously, while Neymar just sprawled on his bed, busily texting.

"This could be huge and you don't seem that bothered!" he said, exasperated.

"Come here baby. Take another look," Neymar said calmly.

Leo walked over and peered at the phone. It was a blurry photo of the two of them from last night's party. It must have been when Leo had entered the house. Neymar had his hand on the small of his back. It could be construed as being intimate, but the photo was relatively innocuous. Even Leo had to admit it.

In the text, the author speculated about their sexuality with no basis in fact or evidence. It quoted an unnamed "friend" who had been at the party - presumably the person who provided the photo - as saying that Neymar and Leo were very close to each other and their relationship seemed to be more than  friends.

"If it's not a big deal then why did your guy send it to you?"

"Well he says this tabloid is so trashy that no one reads it, no one takes it seriously at all. It's just that he wants me to know that someone at my party talked to this stupid paper. Which I'm obviously pissed off about. But you don't need to concern yourself baby."

"I need to make a call," Leo muttered, scrolling through his phone. He left the room.

Geri laughed for about a minute and Leo could hear him calling out to Shakira. After a few moments he came back on the line.

"Shak told me this was the paper that claimed it had pictures of her from a lesbian orgy!"

Leo felt better after the conversation, although he was still a bit shaken. After all, while this time there was nothing to it, there might come a time when someone actually got hold of something worth selling. What then?

He stood at the door and looked over at Neymar. He was texting, with a smile on his face. He was dressed in nothing but white briefs and his smooth, brown skin looked beautiful in contrast. Leo marvelled at how relaxed and carefree he was.

He looked up just then and caught Leo staring. He put away his phone and his face grew serious.

"Come back to bed," Neymar said, voice low and intense.

A voice inside Leo's head called out faintly, to be careful, to rethink things, but he was just too mesmerised by the beautiful boy before him.

He slowly moved towards the bed and Neymar looked him up and down. Leo realised that he too was wearing only briefs. He could feel the flush spreading over his body, with the filthy stare Neymar was giving him.

Neymar stretched out on the bed, still staring at Leo. He moved one hand to the night stand and fiddled with the chain of the big crucifix he had taken off and placed there the night before. He reached out his other hand and Leo took it, leaning down to kiss it softly. He noticed Neymar's grip tighten on the chain.

"How long have you had that?" he asked, gesturing towards the night stand.

Neymar smiled and let go of the chain. He sat up and pulled Leo to him, so that Leo was sitting on his lap straddling him. He lay his cheek against Leo's chest, and wrapped his arms around him.

"I've had it for a long time," he said softly, "I got it once when I felt very afraid, and I could never let go of it."

Leo kissed his head and stroked the back of his neck gently. Something told him there was more to it, but he didn't want to push.

"Do you know what I love about you Leo? You're so gentle. You kiss my fingers. You hold me in your arms. You touch me so softly..."

Leo pressed his lips into his scalp.

"You do that too. I love it when you kiss my eyes."

Neymar turned his face and pressed a kiss into his skin, directly over his heart. It made Leo even more aware of how fast his heart was beating. And this wasn't because he was turned on. It was something else entirely. Something he wanted and feared in equal measure.

He could feel Neymar shaking in his arms and he tightened his hold.

"Leo..." Neymar whispered, speaking the words into his skin, "what I'm trying to tell you is that...it's not always been this way for me. I don't want to talk about it. But I just want you to know."

He moved his face again, to place his cheek against Leo's chest, and Leo felt the slightest brush of moisture on his skin. He placed soft kisses over Neymar's head and held him until he stopped shaking, and he could feel his breathing stabilise.

"Are you afraid now?" he finally asked, and Neymar shook his head.

He lifted his head and looked up at Leo. His smile was a little sad and Leo thought his heart might break with how beautiful he was. He leaned down and kissed him. Kissed him hard, put everything into it, kissed him until his eyes fluttered shut, and Leo could feel his cock coming to life beneath him.

"Oh Leo!" he gasped, throwing his head back, "Leo, what are you doing to me?"

"I just want to make you feel good baby," Leo whispered, sucking along his throat.

He pushed Neymar down until he was lying on his back. Then he pulled his briefs down in a single motion. Neymar was pliant, writhing on the sheets, eyes shut tight.

Leo lifted his legs up and bent them, spreading his thighs. He bent down and licked his entrance softly, circling it with the tip of his tongue. Neymar whimpered when Leo softly licked the stretch of skin between his entrance and his balls. He played with the spot until he was moaning and writhing helplessly beneath him.

Leo sat up and manoeuvred Neymar unto his hands and knees. Even though his face was pressed into the pillow, Leo could hear his breath quickening and his moans getting louder and more frequent. Leo revelled in these reactions and he pressed his tongue in and out, kneaded his firm ass cheeks and kissed and nipped all over his inner thighs.

After he had worked him open with his tongue, entrance dripping with saliva, Leo poured lube over his fingers and pressed one in gently. He listened carefully to his breath changing as he thrust in and out, going slow and deep. Neymar lifted his face from the pillow and cried out, and Leo stopped, placing kisses over his back.

"Sorry baby," he murmured.

"No no, it's so good. Don't stop!" he cried out.

Leo smiled to himself and pressed in carefully again, crooking his finger up.

He heard a muffled shout and continued, massaging the spot a little harder. He pushed in a second finger, going deeper, thrusting harder. He could see Neymar clutching the sheets with both hands and squirming with pleasure under him. He pushed in and out, hard and fast, and Neymar responded by pushing his ass back, trying to grind down on his fingers. By the time Leo pushed in the third finger, Neymar was collapsed on the bed, grinding up and down, fucking himself hard on Leo's fingers.

Leo pressed in deep, hitting the spot over and over, moving his fingers deep inside and pulling out, and repeating the motion until Neymar cried out and arched up from the bed. He shuddered hard and when Leo pulled his fingers out, Neymar rolled over onto his back, panting, slick with sweat, stomach spattered with come.

His eyes were tightly shut and when Leo bent down to kiss him, he batted him away, shaking his head.

Leo laughed and went to the bathroom. He came back with a washcloth and gazed at Neymar for a moment. His eyes were still shut and he was taking deep breaths, one hand resting over his heart.

As Leo watched him, Neymar's eyebrows furrowed and he bit his lip over and over. Then to Leo's alarm, tears started rolling down his cheeks. He didn't sob and his breathing was now even, but the tears fell steadily and silently.

"Ney?" Leo whispered, "Baby, what's wrong?"

He just shook his head, eyes still closed, tears still falling. Leo bent down and cleaned him up gently, and he let him. After he was done, Leo lay with his head between Neymar's thighs, lips brushing softly over his cock. Neymar stroked his hair softly.

Just before Neymar left in the evening, Leo made the mistake of checking his messages. Several people on the team has sent him messages teasing about the tabloid story, and congratulating him on his relationship with Neymar.

"So what?" Neymar laughed it off.

"What do you mean so what?" Leo replied, irritated at his casual attitude, "can you imagine what would happen if it ever came out that I..."

"That you're gay? That we're gay?"

There was something defiant in Neymar's eyes.

"Well yeah! What if it did?"

"So what?" he repeated, this time softly. Seriously.

At the door, he kissed Leo deeply and left.

So what?

What did he mean so what?

Leo knew that there was a challenge in Neymar's question. It was just two words, but it asked a thousand questions. About Leo's courage, or lack thereof. About his commitment. And about the future.

To Leo it was an impossible dilemma. He couldn't just be. The world would want to know everything. And that thought made everything inside his head turn into a frenzied scream.

He felt very troubled when he finally made his way to bed.

*


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss Leo. That's all I really wanted to say. (sighs heavily)

The upside of having to watch his team from the stands was that he got to watch Neymar. As he dribbled and jinked his way nimbly up and down the pitch, Leo tried to control his expressions. He knew he was being photographed and filmed.

There was a moment when he really struggled. It was when Neymar assisted Luis' second goal, and jumped into his arms, wrapping his legs around his waist, his arms tight around him, burying his face into his neck and clinging to Luis.

It wasn't quite jealousy he felt, but a strange type of arousal to see his body clinging to Luis. It made Leo want him, want him to cling to his body, bury his face in his neck.

It was hard to go to the locker room and not be all over Neymar. He had to hug and congratulate him like he was just another team member.

So when Neymar sidled up to him and whispered in his ear if he was going home with Leo tonight, Leo swallowed hard and nodded quickly. He tried to keep his face neutral, to not seem quite as excited as he was.

They were parked in front of Leo's house and Neymar put a hand on his.

"Hey," he said, "can I say something?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Is it okay if we don't...tonight. You know?"

Leo turned and looked at him.

"I don't assume we're going to...anything," he said, carefully.

Neymar smiled and his body relaxed into the car seat. He moved his fingers through Leo's.

"I know," he said, giving Leo a quick sideways glance.

"How about I cook you something?"

Neymar giggled.

"Really?"

"Yeah? Why not?"

Neymar sighed happily.

"Okay."

"Let's go in?"

As they walked inside, Neymar clung to Leo's back, practically climbing him, dragging his feet.

"Hey, you tired?" Leo asked, dragging him over to the sofa.

"Mm hmm."

He lay Neymar on the sofa and took off his shoes and socks. He examined his feet and massaged them slowly. Neymar winced. His right foot was blue and bruised.

"I thought this might be bad," Leo murmured.

"You saw that?"

"The guy stepped on it."

"Yeah."

Impulsively Leo bent down and kissed the foot.

"Leo..." Neymar whispered.

"You got fouled a lot," he said, laying his face on Neymar's slim feet.

"No more than you do," he murmured.

"That was hard to watch."

"Leo?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't cook today. Forget it."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to leave me."

Leo raised his head and Neymar looked down at him, face serious and eyes a little dulled with exhaustion.

He moved up the sofa and lay next to him, and Neymar snuggled into his chest. Leo wrapped him tightly in his arms. He seemed frail and emotional. He needed Leo to hold him. Leo kissed the top of his head.

"Are you okay baby?" he asked him, finally.

Neymar nodded and snuggled even closer. He sniffed a little.

Leo stroked his head slowly, running the tips of his fingers through the short, coarse hair.

"You're really tired, huh? Let's go to bed?"

Neymar peeked up at him. He shifted up and placed a soft kiss on Leo's chin.

"Why are you so nice to me?" he murmured.

"I'm not," Leo replied.

"You are. You are, Leo. You care about me. Right? Tell me you do."

"You know I do."

Leo frowned. Neymar seemed a bit off, perhaps he was just really tired.

"Messi..."

"Hmm?"

"You're so beautiful, Leo. When I see you, I feel like no one else is there."

Neymar had his eyes closed and was mumbling almost inaudibly.

"I miss you so much."

"But I'm right here."

Neymar continued as if he hadn't heard.

"I'm starting to need you. And I'm scared."

"Don't be scared," Leo whispered. He slipped his hand inside Neymar's shirt, smoothing over the warm skin. His fingers found the crucifix and he entwined his fingers through the chain and pulled gently.

He felt it too, starting to need Neymar, feeling scared. Funny how he always thought of Neymar as being carefree, young, easy in his own skin. And now he could see that he was intensely vulnerable. For some reason, he was starting to show Leo this side of himself. He was beginning to trust him.

"Can I ask you something Ney?"

"Yeah."

"What made you...umm..." Leo stopped, unable to find a way to phrase the question.

"What made me...?"

"You didn't leave me alone, like everyone else does," he finally said.

Neymar smiled.

"Did you want me to?"

"I thought I did."

"And?"

"But I liked you coming over all the time."

"And disturbing you?"

"Yeah."

Neymar grinned and pecked him quickly on the lips.

"So why did you?" Leo asked.

Neymar was silent for a few moments.

"I just wanted to."

"You just wanted to disturb me?"

Neymar laughed a little, as if embarrassed.

"I just didn't want to leave you alone, Leo."

"Did you feel sorry for me?"

"Not exactly..."

"Kind of?"

"I felt like you needed me."

"I guess I did." Leo closed his eyes.

"Hey Leo, it turns out I'm the one who needs you. Funny, isn't it?"

Leo didn't trust himself to open his eyes, but he moved closer and found Neymar's mouth with his. When Neymar parted his lips, warm tongue pushing into Leo's mouth, he felt like his heart was being squeezed tight, and a sobbing sound left his throat.

Leo fingers tightened on the chain around Neymar's neck, and Neymar clutched Leo's face, and his leg wound around his waist. Their tongues lapped together, up and down. Neymar moaned into Leo's mouth and put his hand under his shirt, running his fingers restlessly over his body.

"Leo," he panted, breaking the kiss momentarily.

"Mmm."

Leo caught Neymar's earlobe between his teeth.

"Oh!" he cried out, "Leo, I changed my mind."

"About what?"

"I want to."

Leo smiled, nuzzling into Neymar's neck.

"Want to what?" he teased.

"Don't make me say it."

Leo sucked under Neymar's jaw softly, and he could feel his whole body shivering.

"Say it," he whispered.

"I need you Leo."

"What do you need?"

"I need your cock inside me."

*


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is especially for those who are missing Leo. At least we all miss him together, right? Enjoy! xoxo
> 
> PS: should also mention that this chapter contains mild reference to mistreatment in a past relationship.

Leo removed his two fingers from inside Neymar slowly. He was sprawled out on his bed, sweat shining on his skin, chest heaving. His legs were spread far apart, entrance glistening with lube and saliva.

Neymar's tongue peeked out of his mouth and his eyelids were heavy and lustful, pupils dilated.

"Leo...Leo..." he gasped.

"Tell me what you need."

"I need you baby," Neymar moaned out, writhing on the sheets.

"Tell me."

"I need your cock inside me," he whispered hoarsely.

"Say it again," Leo said, slicking his cock up with lube.

"I need it Leo, please baby. Give it to me."

A low growl escaped Leo's throat, something animal rising inside him. He gripped Neymar's thighs and pushed into him.

He rocked his hips slowly back and forth pushing in deeper and deeper. Neymar whimpered softly, reaching out and touching all over Leo's body, wherever he could.

Leo pushed further in, until he was all the way in. He lay his head on Neymar's chest, pausing for breath. It felt amazing to have his cock clenched tightly in Neymar's heat. It was so intimate like this, face to face, the slickness of their bodies sliding together when Leo started thrusting in and out slowly again.

Leo raised himself up and started moving in and out in a faster rhythm. Neymar sat up and grabbed on to Leo's hips, pulling him closer and closer. He looked hyper alert and completely focused on Leo, staring down at where Leo's cock pushed into him over and over. He could feel his orgasm coming and his thrusts became shallow and fast.

Leo grabbed onto Neymar's cock, slicked up with precome, and started stroking upwards slowly and purposefully, twisting his wrist subtly with every stroke.

"Oh Leo..." Neymar moaned desperately, and Leo thrust in hard and came with a groan, deep inside Neymar. He lay his head against his shoulder, shuddering violently. Through it, he didn't stop stroking Neymar, and soon he came too, crying out in an almost pained voice.

Leo lay on top of Neymar, and Neymar wrapped his arms and legs tightly around him, nuzzling into his neck.

It felt good, the hard, warm body clinging tightly to him. Neymar started rubbing his hands all over his body. Leo shivered, feeling exhausted and oversensitive.

"Leo," he finally said, loosening his hold a little.

"Hmm?"

"I'm hungry."

Leo climbed off him and stared at his face incredulously, and Neymar giggled sheepishly.

"Are you serious?"

"You did lure me in here with promises of food!"

"Are you trying to get me to make something for you? Right now?"

Neymar lowered his eyes, smiling softly, almost shy. And Leo felt a surge inside his heart, suddenly realising that they were heading into relationship territory. He felt a kind of unbearable giddiness that could only be described as happiness.

A few minutes later, he was leaning on the counter in his kitchen watching Neymar, perched on a stool naked except for a pair of briefs, devouring the sandwich he'd quickly made for him.

"Why are you watching me like that?" Neymar finally said, looking up briefly.

"Like what?"

"You have this smile on your face."

Neymar finished the sandwich and placed the plate on the counter.

"Ah. I just feel happy," Leo replied.

"Me too."

They looked at each other for a few moments.

"Of course you would. You've got someone making you a sandwich in the middle of the night."

Neymar didn't smile, but his eyes flickered playfully.

"Next time I'll do it," he said, and Leo's heart filled up again with a surge of emotions. The feeling that they were a thing, that this would be a regular thing, made him feel that giddiness again.

"You have that smile again," Neymar murmured.

"It's because you're here, and I like you so much. Ney..."

He looked down, feeling flustered, feeling the flush creep up his neck and face. He felt shy and nervous. He heard the scrape of the stool and then Neymar was holding him in his arms, leaning on him and pressing him into the counter.

"Thank you, Messi," he murmured.

"You don't have to thank me."

"Why not?"

"It's just a small thing."

Neymar breathed heavily, and kissed the side of Leo's neck. They stood in this position for a while as they continued talking.

Back in bed, Leo felt tired but he didn't want to stop talking to Neymar. It felt so special, this time they had together late into the night. Neymar should have been even more tired, but he seemed to want to stay up talking too.

They lay on the bed face to face, loosely clasping hands, talking about this and that, nothing too big.

Finally, Neymar's expression turned a little serious.

"Is this the part where we talk about the past?" he said, a little uncertainly.

Leo immediately realised that he wasn't ready for this. He wondered if he would ever be ready to talk about that, about Kun and what had happened between them, about what it had done to him. He closed his eyes. He felt Neymar's lips on his eyelids and he released a breath.

"I don't want to push you," Neymar whispered, slinging an arm around his neck, "I just want to know about you. Whenever you're ready to let me in."

Leo pulled Neymar into his arms.

"Tell me about you," he said, "I want to know about you too."

Neymar inhaled deeply.

"I told you the other day...I was talking about a relationship I had. And he wasn't very good to me. In fact he..."

Neymar trailed off and Leo opened his eyes. They were so close together that all he could see was the colour of his eyes. He could see the palpable pain inside them. Leo felt a dizzying sensation, like he wanted to punch a wall, keep Neymar inside his arms forever. He tightened his hold around his waist.

"Did he hurt you?" He heard his own voice coming out strangled.

Neymar nodded slowly, eyes lowering.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"Yes," he whispered.

Leo kissed him on the cheek.

"Tell me."

"Not right now," he said, "I can't. I just want to be happy right now, Leo."

He kissed Leo so tenderly that he felt like his guts were dissolving inside his stomach.

"I want to make you happy," he said, looking deep into Neymar's eyes.

The smile Neymar gave him then was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. They stroked over each other's bodies slowly, lazily, until they both faded off into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, Leo rose and made breakfast before Neymar woke up. He was busy finishing up the scrambled eggs when Neymar showed up in the kitchen, smiling and rubbing his eyes.

"Oh you're up. I wanted to bring it to you in bed. How's your foot?"

Neymar came up behind him and encircled his waist, leaning down and kissing behind his ear.

"Hey be careful. I'm cooking here!" Leo protested, but he leaned back into Neymar's body.

"I see that," Neymar murmured, nibbling at his earlobe.

Leo twisted his neck to the side, so he could reach Neymar's mouth and their tongues met sloppily.

After breakfast, Neymar insisted on drinking coffee outside in the sun, just sitting outside the front door. Leo felt impossibly happy just watching Neymar lift his face to the sun, beautiful, lean legs stretched out in front of him.

When Luis' car slowly rolled up the driveway, Leo didn't even feel a little anxious. It was early in the morning and Neymar was wearing briefs and one of Leo's shirts. It was very obvious indeed. But it was Luis and somehow it didn't matter.

He came out of the car smiling and raising an eyebrow.

"I wanted to ask if you wanted anything from the bakery," he said, sitting down after clapping hands with both.

"Do you want some coffee? I just made some," Leo offered.

"I'll get it," Neymar said, getting up.

Leo watched him as he walked inside, and when he turned back to Luis, Luis was grinning.

"I like that smile on your face gruñón," he said, "and Ney looks good in your shirt."

Leo opened his mouth to say something, but just smiled back at Luis. Soon Neymar came back with the coffee and the three of them sat in the sun, drinking coffee in peaceful silence.

*


	15. Chapter 15

Leo smiled to himself, looking at the various Halloween photos his teammates had been sending him throughout the night. Neymar alone had done three different costumes and had sent him loads of photos of each. At one point, he got a phone call from Geri giggling so hard that he didn't quite understand the whole story about how they had all just stumbled into a press conference all dressed in costumes while trying to scare their coach.

"Don't worry about it, it will all be explained in the news!" Geri had shouted before hanging up.

It's not that he felt left out or even lonely. He just missed playing. He was starting to get restless, really restless. He and Neymar hadn't discussed whether he was coming over tonight. Yet Leo was half-expecting him. The last few weeks, they had settled into a kind of easy rhythm. Neymar always came over if he possibly could. But Leo told himself that Neymar would probably go to some Halloween party. They weren't that couple yet, that had to go to everything together and had to tell each other exactly where they were going.

It was quite late when the doorbell rang. Leo shuffled over to the door, knowing it was Neymar, heart quickening with anticipation. When he opened the door, Neymar was standing with his arms crossed across his chest, completely serious look on his face.

"Hey," Leo grinned, "I thought you'd go out tonig...what's the matter?"

Leo was holding the door open but Neymar stood where he was, shadowy in the darkness.

"You have to invite me in," he said seriously.

"Wha...?"

Neymar moved into the light and Leo started. His face was pale and deathlike, dark circles under his eyes, and red blood-like stains dripped from the sides of his mouth.

"You get it now?" he said, baring his teeth.

"Why should I let you in?"

"I won't hurt you."

"How do I know that? You look like a vampire to me."

Neymar rolled his eyes, looking bored. He gestured towards the blood on his face.

"I just fed sweetie, I'm not even hungry. Just invite me in."

"So what do you want from me if not to drink my blood?"

Neymar smirked. Leo noticed that he had dark smokey makeup on his eyes, and he had to admit there was something very hot about the look.

"Well," Neymar said, biting his bottom lip seductively, "I don't want to hurt you Lionel. I just wanted to let you know that I've been waiting for you for centuries. I'm here to make you mine."

Leo almost laughed out loud at the cheesiness but he was also aroused by it.

"Okay," he whispered, "please come in."

He opened the door wide and Neymar practically jumped inside, pulling Leo into a desperate embrace, nibbling at his neck, giggling. It was such a tangle that they ended up on the floor, right in front of the door.

"I thought you weren't going to bite me!" Leo gasped, trying to wriggle away.

"I have to, to make you mine!"

"But I'm yours! I'm already yours!"

They paused, panting, lying on their sides on the floor and gazing at each other.

On closer inspection, Neymar had on a soft rose coloured lipstick, and his eye make up was more elaborate than Leo had first realised. His eyelids were heavy with smokey golden glitter and his long eyelashes were thick with luscious mascara. He looked breathtakingly pretty. Leo licked his lips.

"Are you just...sexy vampire?"

His voice caught in his throat a little. Neymar fluttered his lashes. Leo looked him up and down, taking in the form fitting black jacket, and the skin tight black leather trousers.

"You calling me sexy?"

Leo brushed his thumb over his full, rosy lips.

"Tonight you're just very, very especially sexy," he murmured.

Neymar nibbled on his thumb, eyes fluttering shut momentarily. Leo couldn't look away. When Neymar opened his eyes again, he looked hazy, lustful, almost sinful.

"You're not bad yourself," he said, looking Leo up and down, gaze filthy. Leo felt the flush creep over his body as he remembered he was shirtless.

"I love it when you get flushed like that," Neymar whispered, shifting closer, "makes me want to bite."

He put an arm around Leo and nuzzled into his neck. He was wearing a heavy, musky cologne that was overwhelming.

"How did you get away tonight?" he asked, drawing Neymar closer.

"I told them I was going to see you," Neymar murmured, placing soft kisses along Leo's neck.

"Hmm and it was okay?"

"Baby, I think everyone knows I was coming here to fuck...I mean make you mine forever."

His teeth sank into his skin and Leo hissed in pain. Neymar licked over the spot and shivers ran through his body. His cock was already hard.

He disengaged himself from Neymar and stood up. They locked eyes when Leo gave him his hands and hauled him up. Neymar took Leo into his arms and held him close.

"To tell you the truth, I miss you too much when you're not there. I don't even really enjoy myself," he said softly.

Leo tried to breathe evenly, speaking was out of the question for the time being. Neymar continued.

"I was going to this party tonight and I just found the whole idea so...boring. I'd rather be here with you, baby. Even if we're not doing anything."

They were quiet for a few moments, still in each other's arms. Neymar cleared his throat.

"That doesn't necessarily mean we should do nothing," he mumbled.

Leo laughed and squeezed him tighter.

"I know. You have to make me mine, no?"

Neymar backed away and looked closely at Leo's face.

"Am I really cheesy?" he asked.

Leo laughed again but Neymar's face remained serious.

"No. You're really funny," Leo said sincerely, and Neymar broke into a smile.

"And tonight very pretty, and very sexy," Leo continued, reaching up and kissing his lips softly.

"Pretty, huh?"

Neymar's eyes were closed, mascaraed eyelashes fanning along his skin.

"Yes, very," Leo replied, kissing him again.

"And do you like that?"

"What?"

Neymar half-opened his eyes, looking sexy yet completely unsure of himself. Leo felt a pang go through his heart. He touched Neymar's cheek and his eyes fluttered closed again.

"I like it," Leo whispered, stroking his cheek.

Neymar wrapped himself around Leo, all a tangle of limbs and Leo easily lifted him up by grabbing on to his slim, muscular thighs.

The light of the moon was enough to illuminate Neymar's face as he moved up and down Leo's cock. Leo had Neymar's hips in a bruising grip as he tried not to completely drown in the sensation of Neymar clenching warmly around his cock. He held on to Leo's shoulders and had his head thrown back, eyes closed, moaning shamelessly.

"Ney...Ney, look at me," Leo managed to breathe out, and Neymar tilted his head down and opened his eyes. Sleepy, catlike, and thick with black liner, he made Leo gasp with the look he gave him.

Neymar bent lower and nibbled Leo's earlobe, stilling momentarily. Leo massaged his ass cheeks firmly, grinding and thrusting upwards slowly, almost lazily.

"I love having your cock filling me up like this," Neymar whispered, lips brushing his ears. Leo shuddered, and started thrusting up again. But it seemed like Neymar was suddenly in a talkative mood.

"It feels so good," he said, sitting up and shifting a little, letting out little moans of pleasure.

Leo sat up and pulled Neymar closer, feeling his cock bury even deeper inside. He couldn't help letting out a loud moan.

"How does it feel for you?" Neymar murmured, clutching Leo close to him, and starting to move up and down his cock again.

"It...it...oh! It feels so good," Leo gasped out, thrusting up in time with Neymar's movements. He was in really deep and it was hard to speak.

"Am I really tight?"

Neymar moved up and down easily now, bouncing lightly on Leo's cock. He caught on to Leo's hair tightly, pressing his face into his chest.

"Yes! So tight..." Leo gasped, tongue lapping over Neymar's warm skin. He could feel his orgasm building.

"I love your cock. How it stretches me." Neymar panted, his up and down movements getting faster.

Leo reached in between their bodies and took hold of Neymar's cock. It was slick and hard and Leo started stroking it fast, as fast as Neymar was riding him now.

"Baby I...I...love...I love when you come inside me," Neymar moaned desperately, fucking himself on Leo's cock hard and fast.

"You're beautiful Ney," Leo murmured, feeling disoriented, head spinning from all the sensations surging through his body. He gazed into Neymar's eyes, the makeup emphasising the luminous irises even more than usual. He was the most beautiful man in the world.

"You're the most beautiful man in the world," Leo gasped out, mouth brushing over panting mouth.

Neymar pressed close and after a few quick, hard thrusts, Leo was coming deep inside Neymar, heart and body soaring with the ecstatic release. He moaned out loudly as his cock throbbed inside Neymar, and soon Neymar was crying out his name and spilling all over his fingers.

They held on to each other tightly, as their bodies shivered. Neymar was whispering in his ear again, and his words brought Leo back down to earth.

"Could you love me?" he said, "I'm not saying anything right now or asking you to...I'm just asking if you could. If it's possible."

Leo replied easily, looking into Neymar's eyes.

"Yes."

A hint of a smile flashed across Neymar's face, before he turned his head away to hide it.  
Leo moved them onto their sides, cock still hard and inside Neymar and Neymar wound an arm and a leg around Leo.

"How can you ask me something like that right now?" Leo asked, laughing, and Neymar hid his face in Leo's neck. But Leo took his face in his hand and forced him to look at him. Neymar was blushing and trying not to grin.

"I'm sorry," he said, giggling, "shall I ask you again later?"

Leo shook his head.

"You came here to make me yours, right?"

Neymar closed his eyes and sighed, smiling.

"I've been waiting for you for centuries," he replied.

*


	16. Chapter 16

Neymar whimpered as Leo sucked and nibbled below his jaw and along his throat. Leo was grinding against him in a steady rhythm, Neymar pressed against the tiles, warm shower cascading over them. Neymar gripped both their cocks in his hands, jerking them off together slowly and sensuously.

Leo reached up to kiss Neymar softly. Then he swallowed his bottom lip, sucking on it and nibbling lightly. He took Neymar's hands and pressed them against the tiles, stretched above his head, and then he pressed closer against his body. He drew Neymar into his arms and kept on grinding their hard, slick cocks together. He kept on kissing Neymar, running his hands greedily over the outlines of his ribs.

He wanted to be closer and closer, and their cocks pressing and rubbing together felt really fucking good.

"Leo," Neymar gasped, breaking away from the kiss, "I'm going to come."

"I want you to come. Don't look away."

He rotated his hips, rubbing his cock harder and faster against Neymar's. He was close too, but he stared intently into Neymar's eyes, desperate to see the look on his face when he came.

Neymar moaned loudly, writhing against the wall, grinding hard against Leo. His eyes fluttered shut but snapped back open immediately.

When he came, cock pulsing and throbbing against Leo's, his eyes widened and his face flushed a few shades darker. Neymar bit his bottom lip hard and groaned out loud, trembling violently. The water passed over his beautiful, contorting face and he finally closed his eyes and parted his mouth in bliss.

He took a few deep breaths and quickly dropped down to his knees. As soon as he took Leo's cock inside his warm, wet mouth, Leo came in big, shuddering spurts. He held on to Neymar's head until he was done.

Neymar licked the stray dribble of come from his cock and looked up smiling. He looked so pleased with himself that Leo had to laugh a little.

"Come here," he murmured, pulling him up to his feet and kissing him firmly.

"Leo, let me wash your hair?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I? I love your fluffy hair baby."

Leo laughed and turned around, leaning against Neymar's body. Neymar reached for the shampoo and gently massaged it into Leo's hair.

He leaned down and tongued and kissed Leo's shoulder, massaging his hair for a while. It felt really good.

"God Ney, you have good hands," he finally said, sighing in contentment.

"Oh yeah? You think so?"

Neymar kissed tenderly behind his ear and Leo shivered all over.

"Mmm hmm."

He thought of how Neymar had asked him, about a week ago, if he could love him. What were they doing, he wondered, if not hurtling towards love? He pressed against Neymar's body and Neymar encircled his waist with both arms, placing his chin on his head and humming happily.

*

Neymar was flying to Brazil the next morning, and everything went wrong. He had brought his luggage over, so that he could go to straight to the airport from Leo's place.

They had had dinner and were cuddled up together on the sofa.

"Are you going to miss me?" Neymar asked, for the hundredth time.

Leo pulled him against his chest and took his hand.

"I'm just sad I don't get to kick your ass," he replied.

He'd convinced himself that a short separation would be good for them, and it would be nice to get his space back. But Neymar was making it hard for him to believe that bullshit. Who was he kidding anyway? He tightened his hold, breathing in his scent. Love was chemical after all, he thought to himself wryly, letting Neymar's sweet, fresh, ever so slightly musky scent flood his senses.

"You know last time I went to Brazil..." Neymar began.

"Mmm hmm."

"When I...ran away?"

"Yeah. Don't do that again."

"I won't. I just wanted to tell you something. It's not a big deal but I should tell you."

He could feel Neymar tense a little in his arms. Leo kissed the side of his head to reassure him.

"Tell me."

"I...I was pretty upset. I went to a party and I kind of flirted with someone."

"Oh. Okay. What do you mean exactly?"

Neymar's next words tumbled out quickly, as if he'd been wanting to let it out for ages.

"I was drunk and this girl was flirting with me, so I danced with her. Kind of like...you know...and when the song ended, we kissed. For like two seconds! And then I was like, what the fuck am I doing? And I got the hell out of there."

Neymar turned to face him, gripping his hands tightly and searching his eyes anxiously.

On the one hand, it pained Leo to see such intense fear in Neymar's eyes, fear at how Leo would react, fear of losing...this. But another part of him was taking over. His face felt numb as he organised it into a neutral expression. He didn't extricate his hands from Neymar's, but he let them go limp and unresponsive. He tried to make his voice as nonchalant as possible.

"What girl?"

The way Neymar gripped his hands irritated him, and he focused on that, held on to that sensation, channelling everything into it. He didn't want to think about anything else, feel anything.

"It was just a random girl in a club. And a girl! So you know...it's not like I like girls even a little, I never have..."

Neymar rambled on and on about how it didn't mean anything. It was easy to tune him out now, easier than thinking about what it all meant, easier than thinking about whether he could even trust Neymar.

Neymar was stroking all over his body, pressing and nuzzling against his face, murmuring "please Leo". It got too much. It was too tempting to just melt into his touch, pretend he hadn't said anything. Leo stood up and backed away.

" Ney...I...can't...this isn't... I'm not okay...with this."

He watched Neymar's face change, eyes widening in panic and his heart lurched painfully. He almost wanted to reassure him, tell him it was all okay. But it wasn't, and it would never be okay. At least he knew better than to pretend.

"Leo," Neymar whispered, wringing his hands together, "Baby, what do you mean? Are you breaking up with me?"

Leo couldn't reply with words but evidently his face gave him away. He watched, feeling sick to his stomach, as Neymar's eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth and closed it again, as if understanding the futility of making a case.

Leo leaned against the wall, looking elsewhere. Neymar sat quietly for a few minutes.

"The other day you said you could love me," he said, softly.

"I could," Leo whispered, "I could love you baby."

He could feel everything crumbling inside him. Neymar glanced quickly at him and his eyes looked momentarily hopeful. It broke Leo's heart. He steeled his resolve. He made his voice neutral and firm.

"This isn't about love Ney. This is about trust."

Neymar's eyes flashed with anger. He stood up.

"Just like that? Leo?"

"It's not like it's easy..."

Neymar scoffed.

"It looks very easy for you. And speaking of trust, what about Kun? What about you and Kun?"

Leo sighed. He wondered how it had taken Neymar so long to bring up Kun.

"There is no me and Kun. We used to be together. But it was over a long time ago."

Neymar looked pained.

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"I'm sorry Ney, I should have told you. But we haven't had a chance to talk about..."

Neymar quickly walked to him and slammed his palm against the wall, next to Leo's head.

"Leo."

While his eyes were full of fire, his voice was pleading.

"Leo, kiss me baby please."

He wanted to. Leo wanted to kiss those full lips, hovering so close to his. He wanted to reassure him, forget everything, but he knew he couldn't. He just didn't want to pretend. Not this time.

He ducked and moved away from the wall, opening distance between Neymar and himself. He shook his head. He could hardly look at Neymar, who had started trembling from head to toe.

"How can you blame me when I saw a text from Kun saying he misses you? How would I know there was nothing between you when you never told me anything? When you didn't even reassure me?"

"I don't blame you, Ney."

Neymar raised an eyebrow.

"I don't blame you for thinking those things, for feeling insecure."

"You don't?"

Leo shook his head.

"I'm not saying it's your fault Ney."

"What then? Leo?"

"But I can't do this."

"Why not?" Neymar's voice was a hoarse whisper.

You let someone in, and right away they hurt you. You let someone in, and they hurt you. It only takes a second for them to destroy you. You let someone in and they hurt you, without fail.

"Leo?"

Leo shook his head and cast his glance directly at the ground. He refused to look at Neymar.

"I just can't."

His voice was quivering and barely audible, but he knew it carried a finality that Neymar fully understood.

He closed his eyes and listened to Neymar stomping around his house, gathering his things. And then the front door slamming, so loudly that it felt like it could have shattered some windows.

And then the muffled sound of a car door slamming, and the sound of a car careening away. And then dead quiet. Leo kept his eyes closed through it all. And long after the house had settled into dark, uneasy silence.

*


	17. Chapter 17

"Come back to bed."

A shaft of morning sunlight from the window passed directly over Neymar. His naked body was golden, and his eyes were like jewels glinting. His smile was mischievous, teeth showing, tongue peeking out a little.

"Come here," Leo whispered, holding out his arms, desperate for his touch.

Neymar bit his lip and sauntered towards the bed, purposefully taking his time. Which was fine, it gave Leo more time to admire that body, watch the graceful walk across the room.

Leo wanted to scream in frustration when he opened his eyes and realised he was only dreaming. At least, he thought, Neymar could have walked faster, embraced him, kissed him before he woke up. Or would that have made things worse? He gripped his pillow and buried his face in it.

A shaft of sunlight fell across the hardwood floor. It was beautiful, but Leo could only notice what was missing from the picture. He wanted to go right back to bed, but he knew he needed to keep busy.

It could have been worse, he kept repeating to himself. He could have been in much deeper, longer, hopelessly and irrevocably in love. As things were, he got out at the right moment.

First things first, he'd locked away his phone. His parents had his landline number and everyone else who needed to get hold of him could call his father if it was a really pressing matter. He doubted anything that urgent was going to come up.

He also instructed Juan not to let anyone in. Lie if he had to. Yet in the evening, the doorbell rang and Luis stood at his door when he answered.

"Hey," he said, walking in, "what happened to you?"

"Hmm?" Leo followed him into the living room, trying desperately to think of some excuse to send Luis away. It was way too early for bed, but maybe he could pretend to be ill. But then he would probably insist on staying to take care of him.

He sat across from Luis, avoiding his eyes.

"I called you and texted you a million times! I wanted to ask if you want to come over for dinner tonight."

"Oh, I lost my phone," he replied lamely, "and thanks but I already ate."

"You did? Okay grandpa. Will you be going to bed soon?" Luis gazed at him thoughtfully and Leo offered a weak smile.

"Are you okay Leo? You're by yourself here and..."

"Yes of course. I'm alone most of the time, you know that! That's how I like it," Leo gushed, overeager to act normal. It clearly wasn't working, because Luis leaned forward and scrutinised his face.

"Missing our little Brazilian?" he finally said, smiling.

"Mmm hmm." Leo couldn't bear to look at Luis so he kept his eyes fixed on the ground.

There was silence for a few moments, broken by Luis' phone buzzing. He took it out of his jacket pocket and looked at it.

"Speak of the devil," he said, grinning, "I'll just put him on speakerphone."

He placed the phone on the table. Leo moved to protest but it was done.

"Hey, hey Ney Ney."

"Hi. What are you doing?"

Leo's heart started beating faster. He gesticulated wildly for Luis not to mention he was with him. Luis frowned and nodded, but left the phone on speaker.

"I'm just chilling at home. So you guys got rained on, huh?"

There was a pause before Neymar's voice crackled through the speaker. He sounded small and far away. Leo's heart hurt.

"Yeah major bummer. We were all ready to go."

Leo could hear it in his voice, how he was trying to sound like his normal, happy self.

"Hey," he said eventually, voice soft and uncertain, "Did you...have you seen Leo today?"

Luis glanced up and Leo realised that he wasn't doing a great job of hiding his feelings at this very moment, because Luis' expression changed in response. Leo could feel himself going warm all over, heart beating out of his chest, eyes tearing up. He chewed on his lip and tried to control himself. He wanted to run away, but he couldn't tear himself away from Neymar's voice.

"No, not today," Luis said slowly.

"Oh. I was trying to get hold of him and I haven't heard from him so..."

He trailed off, sounding sad and resigned.

"Oh yeah, I think he lost his phone."

"Ah well, that makes sense!" Neymar made a sound, like a laugh and scoff, and Leo could tell he didn't believe it.

There was a tense silence after Luis hung up.

"So what's going on?" he finally said.

And then Leo stood up and fled from the room. He could feel the tears streaming down his face as he ran upstairs and locked himself into the bathroom. There he sat on the cold floor and cried, loud sobs wracking his whole body.

Of course he hadn't cried yet. He thought maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he was cold and rational enough to let go and be okay with it.

By the time the sobs had subsided, his T-shirt was soaked. Leo stood up and looked in the mirror. He looked fucked up, dishevelled, flushed and red-eyed, as if he was ill. In a way, he was. He felt physically sick. His longing for Neymar, for his touch, for his voice, was making him physically ache.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Hey, I'm not leaving before you talk to me," Luis said, voice tender but firm, "take your time in there, but I'm not leaving before you talk."

Leo curled up into a ball on one side of the sofa. He wanted to disappear. He really didn't want to discuss anything with Luis.

"Damn. And you just broke up with him right away?"

Leo squeezed his eyes shut.

"Hey, I'm not saying anything. If you can't trust him, that's up to you. But it doesn't seem like...I mean to me it doesn't seem like a huge deal. You know?"

"It's not that I think it's the biggest deal in the world," Leo said quietly.

"What then?"

Leo opened his eyes and looked at Luis' face, open and concerned. He wondered how to explain himself in the simplest way possible.

"It's just how I am," he mumbled, finally, "I don't let too many people in. That's all."

"But you want to be with Ney, I can tell," Luis pressed, voice gentle, "I've never seen you so upset."

"I'm upset, but think how much more upset I would be if I was deeply in love and he cheated on me."

Leo's ears burned with embarrassment. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with Luis. The only person he had ever talked to about relationships was Geri, and Geri had to practically beat it out of him. But Geri was super busy these days with his baby, and it kind of felt good to talk to someone.

"That doesn't make sense, Leo. You can't just protect yourself from hurt all the time. Love is a risk."

"And I've taken it before. And I can't..." His voice broke, and he bit his lip hard to stop the tears from falling.

"You don't want to do it again?"

He nodded vigorously, words dying in his throat.

"Did someone hurt you?"

Leo didn't respond, but Luis understood. He put his hand on Leo's hand.

"Did they cheat on you?"

Leo could feel himself trembling in response.

"Leo," Luis' voice was soft and soothing, "Ney wouldn't cheat on you. It was just a random girl..."

Leo snatched his hand away and stood up. Suddenly he felt angry. Why was Luis on Neymar's side, advocating for him? Wasn't he his friend too?

"That's what he told me!" he shouted, backing away, "that's what he told me. It was just random, it was nothing. It was a girl! But it wasn't random, it wasn't nothing, and it didn't matter that it was a fucking girl!"

"Leo...who?" Luis stood up.

Leo pressed against the wall, trying to stop from shaking so much.

"Kun."

Luis' eyes widened. Leo looked him in the eyes.

"He broke my heart. And he blamed me for it." His voice was suddenly even, his body still and calm. He felt a cold fury replacing the roiling emotions Neymar's voice had sparked.

Luis opened his mouth to say something, and Leo raised a hand to stop him.

"Why are you on his side? Aren't you my friend too?"

Luis lowered his head.

"I'm not on his side. I'm sorry Leo. Come here."

He walked over and took Leo into his arms. He relaxed into Luis' body, and they stayed that way for a long while.

When Luis finally left, Leo was relieved to find that he was happy to be alone again.

*


	18. Chapter 18

"Hello."

"Hey, so you found your phone."

Neymar sounded surprised that Leo had answered his phone, after all this time of missed phone calls and unanswered messages.

"Hey, how are you?" Leo knew he sounded awkward, voice dry with tension. 

"I'm fine. I'm just about to leave for the airport."

"So I'll see you soon."

"You will."

Leo wished he could just pause his life and go into hiding. He missed Neymar with an intensity that he physically felt in his body. He was all wired up, tense, sleepless. But he dreaded seeing him. No way was he ready for that. Not yet. They had to find a way to get along, be able to be in the same room, in the same team. And, unfortunately, they didn't have all the time in the world. Neymar had been calling him every day. And now it was time to answer his phone.

There was a long pause. He listened to Neymar breathing. He imagined his mouth brushing over his phone. He wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Neymar broke the silence.

"Leo...You haven't been answering my..."

"I'm sorry," Leo blurted out.

"Okay..."

"I'm not just ignoring you to make you feel bad."

Now that the words were coming out, he hardly knew what he was saying.

"You could have just sent a..."

"No. No Ney, I couldn't."

"Okay?"

"You know I'm weird. I'm not like normal people. I need..."

"Leo don't..."

"Please let me finish."

"Okay, go on."

"I don't want to hurt you by ignoring you or whatever. I don't want to make you feel bad. I just...it's what I need to do...I need space. I can't talk to you and pretend that we can just...do you understand?"

There was a long silence.

"Leo, are you angry with me? About what I did?"

Leo thought about it for a few moments.

"I'm not  _angry_  with you. Ney..."

He trailed off, feeling helpless.

"Luis told me. About you and Kun, what he did."

"Oh..."

Of course he did.

"Please don't be mad at him. I was calling him even more often than I was calling you!"

Neymar let out a short laugh. Although Leo could hear the frustration in it, his heart lurched at hearing that sound. After so long.

"So you understand..."

"Yes," Neymar sounded firm, resigned, "at least I understand why you reacted the way you did. And I'm so sorry."

There was another long silence.

"Are we going to be okay?" Neymar's voice was so small, pained and uncertain that Leo could hardly bear it.

"Baby?" he whispered, when Leo didn't answer.

Leo clutched the sofa with his free hand. It was too much to hear him say that word to him, like this, in that whisper.

"I don't know," he finally whispered back.

"I miss you so much."

Leo closed his eyes tightly, heart beating wildly, making him feel reckless.

"I miss you too." He regretted it as soon as the words came out.

The silence this time seemed full of significance. He could hear Neymar's breath, heavy and harsh. He could almost feel it, hot and thick. 

"Baby, I miss you," Neymar said, and Leo could hear the tears in his voice. He felt sure he was crying, wherever he was, whatever hotel room he was in.

"I miss you too," he repeated.

And for a few seconds all he could hear were little sniffs and shallow breaths.

"Ney, please don't cry."

"I'm not!"

And then a little laugh that made Leo's heart squeeze even tighter.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Okay."

"Okay."

*

It was late, Leo was fast asleep, when he heard movement downstairs. He sat up, wide awake. He'd been sleeping very light lately, every little thing woke him up. It was as if he couldn't fully relax. 

Someone was inside his house, in the dead of night, and he felt the adrenaline course through his body, his heart rate picked up. He wasn't afraid, though. Because he knew exactly who it was. He felt sure of it. It was as if he was expecting him, even in his sleep. After all, he must have left the doors unlocked.

The door to his room pushed open roughly and the familiar silhouette stood in the dimly lit corridor. Neymar leaned on the frame of the door and stared straight at him, his eyes two glowing points in the semi-dark. Leo sat up and stared back.

Slowly he approached, like an animal in the night. When he got closer, Leo could see the gleam of sweat on his face, the hungry eyes. He could hear the shallow breaths. He could sense how frantic and nervous he was. Neither of them said a word. Neymar was now on the bed, on his hands and knees in front of him, crawling closer. Leo reached out and pulled him violently to him, gripping his muscular arms tightly, and pressing him against his body. He could feel his heart beating fast, he could feel Neymar - he wasn't sure whose heart it was he felt anymore.

Neymar gasped and clutched him around the neck, climbing into his lap, straddling him, legs winding so tightly around his waist that Leo thought he was going to stop breathing. Leo was aware that he was gripping Neymar back so tightly that he might break. But he couldn't stop. They both couldn't stop.

There were no words, just gasps and unintelligible murmurs. And then moans. Soft at first. Clothes were removed and thrown to the side, as they both pressed closer together, closer than possible. Leo could feel the warmth leave his body, as it warmed Neymar. He stroked him all over, trying to rub the cold out of him. When he kissed him on the neck, under his jaw, Neymar let out a low, desperate moan. 

Leo wanted to hear it again, so he kissed the spot again, pressing his lips hard against the soft skin.

"Leo...Leo..." Neymar murmured and until it was all over, those were the only words uttered.

He took his name, chanting it, caressing the word tenderly, panting it, spitting out the word desperately. He cried it out when Leo kissed him all along his throat, licking up the salty sweat in the crook of his neck. And when Leo bit on his nipples, barely passing a soothing tongue over them.

By the time Leo had licked and kissed down his whole torso, and reached his hipbone, Neymar was a mess, writhing naked on the bed, moaning out Leo's name.

Leo rubbed his naked body over Neymar's roughly, grinding their hard cocks together. The more roughly he handled Neymar, the more pliable and open he became. He kept trying to pull Leo closer, tugging at his skin, scratching at his arms. It spurred Leo on even more.

He caught hold of Neymar's wrists and pinned them over his head. He proceeded to rub his body slowly, sinuously over Neymar's. It was dark, he could only make out silhouettes, but he could just  _feel_ Neymar's eyes watching him, boring hotly into his skin.

Leo used a knee to part Neymar's thighs. Letting go of his wrists, he bent down and grabbed his ankles, pushing open his legs. Neymar groaned and grabbed at Leo's head pushing him down.

His face was buried in Neymar's crotch, rubbing all around. He licked his entrance up and down once, and drove his tongue in without much warning. Neymar cried out and Leo withdrew his tongue, concentrating instead on leaving little bites on the delicate skin of Neymar's inner thighs. Once Neymar was writhing and moaning helplessly, Leo drove his tongue into his entrance again. He went deeper than he ever had, consumed with a desire to fill him up, and to taste him.

"Leo...Leo..." Neymar whispered, and Leo withdrew his tongue. He sat up, reaching towards the night stand, but Neymar stopped him. He sat up too, and bent down, all of a sudden engulfing Leo's cock with his mouth.

Leo almost shouted out with the warm, wet, desperate pleasure of it. In any case, he groaned really loudly and Neymar sucked and slurped messily up and down his length, bobbing his head up and down rapidly. He was very sloppy and his saliva dripped down Leo's cock. 

He stopped then, and lay down, pulling Leo down roughly, and grabbing his cock, guiding it. Leo pressed down on Neymar, panting with lust. He let Neymar press the tip of his cock against his entrance.

His hands were braced on either side of Neymar, and he pressed in, moaning at the tightness. He pressed in and out shallowly, hard cock dragging into the clenching hole. Neymar was letting out little whimpers, and pulling Leo in deeper, desperately. He clung to Leo, arms around his neck. When Leo paused for breath, head leaning on Neymar's shoulder, Neymar sat up, pushing Leo back so that they were sitting face to face, with Neymar straddling him.

Leo groaned loudly as his cock buried in even deeper. Neymar's face was pressed against his forehead, and he could feel his tears raining down. It had to hurt, but Neymar just tightened his hold around Leo and clung to him. He was so close that there was no space to thrust, and Leo just moved his pelvis up and down, grinding into Neymar. They both moaned loudly as Neymar loosened up and Leo's cock moved in and out with a little more ease. Leo gripped his hips and pushed him down and lifted him up. Their moans were coming out in a steady rhythm now, their pace getting faster, as Neymar bounced up and down vigorously and Leo thrust up and down hard. The dark, silent room began to fill with the sound of skin slapping against skin, as they started rocking in and out faster and faster, their slick chests coming together and separating with each thrust.

"Leo!" cried Neymar.

And Leo knew he wanted more, wanted it harder and wanted it deeper. He tipped Neymar down and lifted his leg up, placing the ankle on his shoulder. From this angle, he could push into him better, and he slammed into him hard, over and over. Neymar's cock, rigid against his chest was hard and leaking. He was moaning non-stop, a stream of whimpers and cries leaving his mouth, eyes closed, and thrashing from side to side.

Finally, Leo could feel that he was close. He used one hand to still Neymar so he didn't flail around so much. And then he cupped Neymar's face, roughly grabbed his jaw and pulled it up. Neymar cried out in pain, and his eyes opened. It was dark but Leo could feel the eyes on him. He thrust into him hard, harder than he ever had. For a moment, he wanted it to hurt, and it looked like Neymar wanted to hurt.

As his cock started throbbing hotly inside Neymar, he saw Neymar's cock also spurting out white. He pressed closer to him, leaning down and biting hard on his shoulder. Neymar cried, and dug his nails into his back, dragging them maliciously across his skin. 

He seemed to come forever, pulsing on and on, and it was a release like no other. He felt like he was flying, his body tingling with the knife-edge sensation of pleasure/pain at once. After a few moments, he felt like he reentered his body, like he'd died and gone to heaven and come back, like he had stopped breathing, like he wanted to throw up, like he wanted to die again. 

Neymar was crying softly under him, making no effort to wriggle out from under his weight. He lay finished on the mattress, no arms clinging to him, touching him, as he usually did. Leo could feel him shaking. He got off him and lay on his back next to him. He continued to weep softly, and Leo reached out and cupped his cheek. The tears kept falling over his fingers.

He reached over and kissed Neymar, the kiss soft for one micro-second until it deepened, got frenzied. And then Neymar bit him hard, drawing blood. And Leo bit him back, just as hard.

*

Leo stared at Neymar sprawled on his bed, morning sunlight making him look like some kind of debauched angel. He noticed that he'd gotten darker, much darker, deep brown skin beautiful against Leo's cream bedsheets. He was completely naked and gorgeous. Leo's eyes went to the crucifix around his neck, dark beads gleaming against his skin. He hadn't noticed it on him last night.

Neymar's eyes flickered open and he smiled at Leo. Leo couldn't help smiling back, because the smile was so genuine, eyes light green in the sunlight, faintly mischievous and knowing. By the time Leo leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips, he was already asleep again.

Leo continued to gaze at him, and all of a sudden his peace was crowded out by a million words and images that came to his mind unbidden. 

Neymar telling him how he was so nice to him, how gentle and sweet Leo was. Leo thought of how roughly he'd fucked him the night before, how much pain Neymar was in and how much he'd wanted it despite the pain. 

He thought about the beginning. How he'd been alone, for so long, for many years, and then there'd been Neymar. How he came over all the time, how he was Leo's friend, and how he didn't leave him alone. 

He thought about how Neymar had said he was starting to need him. 

He thought about how he had fucked him the first time, deep and slow, leaning against his front door. 

Leo leaned forward and lightly touched the rosary around Neymar's neck. He ran his fingertip over one smooth bead and he felt a pang in his heart when he remembered what Neymar had said, about being frightened. Leo wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss those soft lips, slightly parted. But he resisted it with all his willpower. He couldn't do this to him. He wouldn't survive if he allowed himself to  _feel_ these things. His heart was breaking all over again.

He moved away. Neymar opened his eyes. He looked up at Leo and, instantly, his eyes went dark and stormy. He shifted a little, drawing the sheet over himself protectively. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and filled with restrained rage.

"You can't do this. Right?"

His eyes bore into Leo's. Leo found himself speechless, yet again. Neymar clambered up and out of the bed. He started pulling on his clothes. Finally, he was dressed, disheveled and deeply flushed. He stood with his hands on his hips and stared angrily at Leo.

"Leo?" he demanded.

"I can't do this," Leo replied. He hated how his voice was calm and cold, but this was the only way. He couldn't give Neymar  _any_  hope. Neither of them could live with hope. He had to sever whatever it was they had, once and for all.

"I'm sorry," he added, and Neymar scoffed.

"It's not like you don't have feelings for me," he said, defiantly, challengingly.

"Ney I...I need to be alone," he said, voice shaking.

Neymar nodded.

"I'll leave you alone then, Leo. See you in training."

And just like that, he was gone.

*


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, here is a short chapter, a bit of pre-clasico angst for you all! Hope everyone is still enjoying this story. I know it's gotten very angsty and sad. Thanks for reading/commenting so far! xoxo

There was a time when gazing into those green eyes made him feel calmer. But those days were gone. As Leo stumbled into the locker room, drenched in sweat, satisfied with the training, he found himself staring into those eyes. Now they just seemed intense and fiery, and they made him feel nervous and on edge.

 

Why was it that he had to come in here and find Neymar alone? Naked from the waist up, glistening with sweat.

 

"Hey," Leo said tentatively.

 

Neymar smirked and nodded briefly. It wasn't completely hostile. In fact, things had been surprisingly  _normal_ at training. It didn't look like anyone noticed anything, except for a few quick glances he'd noticed Luis throwing his way.

 

"Good training?" Neymar's voice was calm and even.

 

"Yeah. It was good."

 

"You feel ready?"

 

"I...are you okay?"

 

He wished he hadn't said that. He could see something flash quickly in Neymar's eyes - anger, wounded pride.

 

In response, Neymar approached him, staring him up and down. He came closer and closer until Leo was forced back towards the lockers. 

 

"Yes I'm okay." His voice was cold and challenging. Leo leaned on one of the lockers, flinching a little as his skin made contact with the metal.

 

Neymar raised an arm and placed it next to Leo's shoulder, careful not to touch. He leaned down, hovering close. Leo held his breath, feeling every thudding beat of his heart.

 

"I'm okay except..." Neymar trailed off, smirking wickedly.

 

"Except what?" Leo's voice came out in a small whisper.

 

"Except when I see you, and then I feel like..."

 

"What?"

 

Neymar leaned down and touched his forehead to Leo's. His breath on his face was hot. Leo shivered all over, electricity jolting throughout his body.

 

"I feel like just getting down and..."

 

Suddenly Neymar's hand was rubbing slowly but firmly over his hardening cock. 

 

"Ney..." he gasped, unable to help himself from bucking into his hand a little.

 

"I know I shouldn't but..." Neymar's lips brushed over his, and Leo let out a soft moan.

 

And then everything went blurry as Neymar's mouth descended on his, lips clinging to his lips, hot tongue easily prying his mouth open. They kissed deeply, and Leo felt like a man dying of thirst finally given some water. He swallowed Neymar's tongue, his lips, his little moans, everything. Neymar's hands were moving insistently all over his body, his lithe, slim frame pressing hard against Leo's.

 

"Why do you always wear so many layers?" Neymar grumbled, pulling at his shirt, hot hands finding the bare skin underneath.

 

"It's cold," Leo moaned, and Neymar laughed. It was a real laugh, high and carefree and it almost stopped Leo dead in his tracks because it was so real, too real, too beautiful. But Neymar was grinding his cock against his, and Leo couldn't breathe much else do anything else. 

 

And just like that, Neymar had torn himself away from Leo and he was on the other side of the room, taking off his shoes. Leo looked around, disoriented, and realised that the rest of the team had entered the room. He took a few deep breaths and started going about his business, trying not to look Neymar's way.

 

Soon everyone was there, chatting, bantering, and so on. Leo was about to go to the showers when someone talked about going out together for dinner.

 

"Okay," he said.

 

"I can't, I have plans," Neymar said.

 

A collective "oooooh" went up.

 

Neymar giggled and turned his back, but he wasn't going to get away with it. Finally he turned around blushing.

 

"Okay, okay, okay, yes it's a date," he said, grinning.

 

Leo looked at his feet, avoiding Luis' gaze from across the room.

 

Neymar was being relentlessly pressed for details. Leo turned away and started walking to the showers.

 

"It's someone from your part of the world," he heard Neymar saying with a laugh, "you have to teach me some sexy French phrases."

 

Leo quickly turned the corner, practically running to the showers.

 

*

 


	20. Chapter 20

Things were almost normal. Leo was on the bench, shouting and jumping the most, when Neymar scored a goal. Later out on the pitch, when Luis scored his second goal, Neymar grabbed his head and pulled him into a hug.

 

When Neymar was kicked cynically in the knee by an opposition player, Leo wanted to shove him away. But he'd already received a red card and walked off quickly, without a fuss. Leo bent down and touched Neymar's shoulders gently. He could feel his heart beating rapidly, anxiously.

 

"Are you okay?" he murmured quietly and Neymar nodded, face still scrunched up in pain.

 

Walking slowly off the pitch at the end of the match, Leo felt excited and happy. Relieved that Neymar was okay. He wondered when he'd started to feel so much for him, to be so preoccupied by him, even in these intense moments. 

 

"We need a photo!" Neymar said happily, back in the locker room, flashing his phone, "come here!"

 

Leo and Luis leaned in and Neymar posted the selfie, all three of them looking pleased.

 

Now he was back at home, sitting outside his front door. He didn't want to go in, for reasons he didn't feel like analysing. It was the most amazing result, and even though he hadn't been fully part of it he felt buzzed and, above all, happy to be back. The last two months without football had been torture. It had been torture for other reasons too, but at least playing again would help.

 

The night started getting darker, and colder, and still he didn't want to go inside. His mood had become melancholy, and he struggled to contain it. He didn't want to wallow. It was a great day. For a moment, he wished some of his family had been around. His brother wasn't in town this weekend and while everyone had called to congratulate and ask about his knee, no one was actually around. Still, he admonished himself, wasn't this what he wanted? A satisfying win, and some space to be himself? He sighed heavily, frustrated with himself.

 

Leo was almost numb from the cold, when he saw a car coming up the driveway. It definitely looked like Neymar and he blinked a few times, peering into the distance. He tried not to smile too hard when he was sure. He bit his lip and looked down, grinning to himself, as Neymar got out and slowly walked up to the doorstep.

 

"Leo!"

 

Neymar was smiling, a little shyly, as he came closer.

 

"Hi," Leo raised his head, wishing he wasn't blushing so much.

 

"Why are you out here? It's cold!"

 

"It's okay."

 

Neymar sat down next to him on the step and stared ahead. They were silent for a while.

 

"Didn't you have plans tonight?" Leo finally asked, unable to help himself. He turned his head to look at Neymar. Neymar quickly glanced at him, blushing and smiling a little.

 

"I do. Later though," he mumbled.

 

Leo nodded. 

 

"Did you learn any sexy French expressions?" he blurted out. Why not torture himself?

 

"What?"

 

Neymar sounded surprised. He looked at Leo, frowning a little.

 

"You know...you were saying yesterday that you had a date..."

 

Leo felt stupid, but he wanted to know as much as possible.

 

"Oh. That was..." Neymar shook his head.

 

"What?" Leo pressed.

 

"This is someone else," he said, quickly.

 

"Oh."

 

Neymar clicked his tongue. He sighed and swung an arm around Leo. He was so cold that he instinctively pressed into Neymar's body.

 

"Messi, don't harass me about my dating life. Okay?"

 

"I'm  _harassing_ you?"

 

Neymar laughed, pulling him closer.

 

"You are."

 

"It's just friendly curiosity."

 

Neymar giggled. He was massaging his fingers through Leo's hair, and Leo just didn't want him to ever stop. His whole body was leaning towards Neymar, pressing to him. He felt a great longing in his body and soul.

 

"Friendly huh?"

 

"Yeah. Very."

 

Neymar hummed thoughtfully, and a silence fell over them. Neymar continued to move his fingers gently through Leo's hair. Finally he spoke.

 

"It's nothing. It's just some guy," he murmured.

 

"Okay," Leo whispered.

 

"Are you feeling okay? You played as much as you wanted to. It went well right?"

 

Leo laughed.

 

"More than well. You were spectacular. All of you."

 

"Yeah. We don't even need you on the team anymore."

 

"I know. I could announce my retirement tomorrow."

 

They both laughed.

 

"Except..." Neymar began.

 

"Except what?"

 

"Except I noticed you fidgeting like a little kid on the bench. You just couldn't wait, could you? You just want to play all the time."

 

Leo could feel himself blushing. Neymar moved his head to look at his face, cheek pressing against his forehead a little. Leo felt his heart fluttering.

 

"Don't  _you_ want to play all the time?"

 

"Of course. But it's not like you. No one is like you."

 

The silence that descended on them again was a little heavier. Leo wasn't sure why. Maybe because they both knew that it wasn't quite alright between them. Not yet. How could it be? Leo knew very well that Neymar was going to get up and leave any minute. And he didn't want him to. But he had no right to tell him not to go.

 

"Why are you here anyway Ney?" he asked rashly.

 

"I just wanted to see you," he replied, simply.

 

"Oh."

 

"And I knew you'd be here."

 

"What if I had a date, hmm?"

 

"I wouldn't like that."

 

"How can you say that when you..."

 

Leo felt cold as Neymar abruptly removed his arm from around him and moved away. He looked up to find Neymar glaring at him.

 

"Don't even go there."

 

"Where?"

 

Leo hated to admit it, but the fiery look in Neymar's eyes absolutely turned him on.

 

"What do you want from me? What do you  _want_ me to do?"

 

Neymar's body trembled, and Leo felt his heart sink at the hurt that was clearly shining in his eyes. He reached out to cup his face.

 

"Hey, I..."

 

Neymar roughly batted his hand away, turning his face away. 

 

"Ney, I'm sorry. I shouldn't even...you're right, I shouldn't even go there."

 

Neymar turned back and looked at him thoughtfully. They gazed into each other's eyes for a few seconds. Leo wasn't sure who made the first move. It was like they were both uncontrollably attracted towards each other. Before he knew what was happening, Neymar was in his arms. And he was kissing him hard.

 

They both had their hands on each other's necks, stroking up and down each other's faces. As if trying to memorise the facial features. The kiss was deep and tender, swollen lips clinging together, breath coming in audible pants. There was a taste to Neymar's mouth - some kind of luscious, unique flavour, sweetness, sunshine, slight muskiness - that Leo  _needed._ He felt desperate to get as much of it as he could, to remember the taste in case he never got to experience it again. When he pushed the tip of his tongue against Neymar's plush lips, his mouth parted easily, and he sighed, swallowing Leo's tongue and sucking on it. 

 

They made out. Like teenagers who didn't have a room to go to. Like young lovers who had to make do with whatever they could get away with. It made the kisses so much more intense, because that was it, they couldn't take it any further. Neymar had to leave, any minute now. Leo's heart was hammering in his chest, head spinning, feeling dizzy. He groped and clutched at Neymar desperately, and Neymar was open to him, letting him feel him up, run his fingers under his shirt, caress the outlines of his muscles. Leo almost stopped breathing when Neymar pushed his shirt up and rubbed hard thumbs over his erect nipples. He moaned loudly when Neymar broke the kiss to suck gently at his jawline, and then down the side of his neck.

 

He gripped Neymar's head with both hands, pressing his face down into his neck, urging him on to suck that sensitive spot harder. And Neymar did, hurting him, biting him, but then placing the most delicious licks over the bites, making Leo shudder from head to toe. He was hard and Neymar's knee was pressing against his cock. He pressed his cock against the hard knee, parting his thighs, grinding desperately.

 

Neymar reached up and kissed him again, something so tender and heart-squeezing about the way he swallowed Leo's lips, lapped up and down into his mouth. Their frenzied movements became more sensuous as they stroked each other's bodies, fingers grazing skin lightly and torturously under their shirts. 

 

Finally they stopped. Like the beginning, Leo wasn't sure who stopped first. Their foreheads were joined together and they panted raggedly against each other. Neymar was smiling, and that made Leo smile too.

 

Neymar then shook his head, as if to shake himself from a trance, and took a deep breath, shifting on the step, away from Leo. His face turned serious. Leo blinked a few times, trying to come back down to earth. He couldn't help staring at Neymar.

 

"Leo," he said, smiling again a little, "we can't do this, can we?"

 

"I...that was..."

 

Leo struggled to breathe, much less talk.

 

"We can't do this," Neymar repeated. He looked at Leo as if waiting for confirmation.

 

"Yes but it was...nice," Leo said, unable to help himself smiling.

 

Neymar frowned, shaking his head.

 

"Don't fuck with me, Leo," he said, "don't fuck with me just because you can."

 

Leo's smile quickly faded away. He shook his head slowly.

 

They sat in silence for a few moments. When Neymar's phone buzzed in his pocket, it sounded very loud and jarring in the silence.

 

Neymar reached for it and looked at it. He tapped a reply, quickly glancing at Leo. He put his phone back in his pocket and looked away.

 

"You have to go now. Right?" Leo asked, heart sinking.

 

Neymar turned his head and looked at Leo thoughtfully.

 

"Right," he said, voice soft and tight with tension.

 

Leo stood up, feeling resigned.

 

"Okay, I'll see..."

 

Neymar stood up and embraced him. It was a sudden movement and Leo gasped in surprise. Neymar squeezed him tightly, and Leo reciprocated, clinging to Neymar, burying his face in his neck. 

 

He could hear Neymar murmuring that he had to run, that he was late, but he felt like he was drowning in his arms and he wanted to continue drowning.

 

After that he didn't trust himself to speak. Neymar pulled away and pecked him lightly on the lips. He walked away, to his car, and he didn't turn back at all.

 

It was well and truly time to go back inside, it was way too cold outside. But he waited, watching while Neymar got inside his car. He could see him dialing a number and holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder. He could see him talking into the phone as he drove away. And Leo felt the low growl of envy surging through his body, dying to burst out.

 

He opened the door and walked inside, grabbing the first thing in front of him - a big vase on the table in the lobby. He lifted it up with both hands and smashed it on the marble floor, the sound reverberating around the silent, empty house, the shattered pieces scattering far and wide. 

 

He clutched his hair with both hands and screamed up at the ceiling.

 

*


	21. Chapter 21

During a break in training, Dani came and sat down next to him, bumping shoulders gently. All friendly. He was after something, Leo felt certain. He'd known him for a long time and he always knew when it was going to be an uncomfortable conversation with Dani.

"You seem tense," he finally said, gripping Leo's shoulders and pressing hard.

"Ow!" Leo shrugged him off.

"Tell me what's up little flea."

_Or else I'm gonna find out anyway,_  was the unsaid part of that sentence.

"I'm tense because you're on my case," Leo snapped.

He stared across the training field. Neymar was joking around, laughing and rolling the ball through people's legs. Everyone seemed to be affected by Neymar. Wherever he went, people laughed and had fun. He brought out the child in all of them. His eyes were shining with excitement, smile wide and infectious. 

 "Amazing, isn't he?"

Leo snapped to attention immediately. He could feel Dani's eyes on his face.

"Who?" he said.

Dani laughed and put an arm around Leo.

"Ney tells me everything, but he didn't tell me about you and him."

Leo could feel himself blushing.

"What about me and him?"

"Don't deny it."

Dani jerked Leo's face towards him, forcing him to look at him. He looked very serious.

"There is nothing to..." Leo began.

"Let me explain, Leo. Ney tells me everything. He didn't tell me about you, for some reason. But I see it now. I guess it's all very recent? While you've been injured? Which explains why I didn't notice it."

Leo kept quiet, his silence a kind of confession. He hated Dani so much sometimes. 

"So why didn't he tell you?" he finally asked, sulkily.

"I guess he wasn't sure about you? And why should he be? It looks like you already screwed it up, huh?"

Leo flushed red with anger. He stood up and left Dani. Later, after training, Dani cornered him and insisted on going out for lunch together. There was no arguing with him, so Leo agreed. Despite great reservation, he told Dani everything. Dani tapped his fork thoughtfully on the side of his plate.

"So you get a suspicious text from your ex-lover and you don't explain anything to the kid. The kid runs away to Brazil and kisses some random person in a club. And that's the end of the great love story?"

Leo glared at Dani and Dani smiled. His very irritating smile.

"Please don't be mad at me, but don't you think you overreacted a little?"

"I'm not mad at him Dani. I just don't want to..."

"I was there for the Kun saga, remember? I know he fucked you over well and good. But what does it have to do with Ney?"

"Nothing. I...I'm just not ready for a relationship. And I can't just...I'm just not ready. And I don't know if I ever will be. I know I'm an idiot, okay?"

He looked down, overwhelmed. Of course no one was on his side. Why would they be? He was an idiot, hung up on past heartbreak, unable to move on from the pain of being betrayed by the one person he had opened his heart to. He felt Dani's hand on his and looked up. Dani looked at him with kind eyes.

"Leo sweetheart, you're _not_  an idiot. Please don't ever say that."

Leo opened his mouth and closed it again, shaking his head in frustration.

"I know it takes you a long time to trust people, and you don't let just anyone in. But Ney and you..."

"Don't. Please  _don't_ , Dani."

He could feel a stabbing pain in his stomach.

"Don't what?"

"Don't talk about him and me. It's all over now."

Dani frowned and nodded slowly.

"Why did you say earlier that I already screwed it up? How did you know anyway?"

"It was a wild guess."

"Based on what?"

Dani looked a bit uncomfortable, and Leo held his gaze.

"Based on how Ney has been behaving lately."

"How has he been behaving?"

"Are you that oblivious?"

"You mean his date the other day?"

Dani rolled his eyes.

"I wouldn't call it a date. And it's not just...I don't know how to tell you Leo, but he's been out with a different person almost every night lately. Not that there's anything wrong with that but..."

Leo looked down at his salad. He hadn't eaten much of it, and now he didn't want any of it. He didn't want to look at it, he didn't want to smell it. He wanted to pick it up and fling it across the room. As if guessing his thoughts, Dani picked up the plate and quickly placed it on the empty table next to them.

"So."

"So."

"I don't...own him. He can do what he wants," Leo finally said

"That's obviously true, but I'm worried about him."

"Well he's a young guy and there's nothing wrong with..."

"Leo!"

Leo looked up startled. Dani sounded surprisingly angry.

"Leo, you are beyond oblivious. I just can't believe you."

"What are you talking about?"

Leo glanced around quickly, thankful that there was no one around them and the staff were discreet.

"This is Ney's pattern. He can be really self-destructive when he's upset."

Leo stared at Dani and Dani stared back.

"So you don't know anything about his previous relationship?"

"No. He mentioned it once but he didn't want to talk about it."

Dani sighed.

"Okay I'll give you a short version, because you need to know. He was in a very long term relationship with this awful guy in Brazil. It was...bad."

He looked up at Leo thoughtfully.

"I can't tell you all the gory details, but it was bad. He finally finished it when he moved here. The breakup was equally bad. The first year he was here, I can't even count the number of losers he was with. It was all the time, every night. And they were all users. He can really attract them!"

Dani laughed bitterly before going on.

"Anyway eventually he cooled down a bit, got more settled here. He seemed a lot happier last year. I always thought he had a thing for you. He looked up to you and all that, of course. But there was always something more."

Leo bit his lip. His heart was thumping inside his chest. All his instincts were screaming at him to leave now and run, run and find Neymar. But he wanted to hear the rest of what Dani had to say.

"So recently I noticed that Ney was really happy. Happy but very guarded when I tried to ask him about it. I left him alone. I thought maybe he just needs some space to figure things out. And then suddenly he's not so happy anymore. And he's doing the same thing as before, picking up these random losers from god knows where..."

Dani trailed off and looked at Leo. He immediately reacted to Leo's expression, grabbing his hands and squeezing tightly.

"Hey! I'm _not_  saying this is all your fault Leo!"

"You're not?" Leo replied bitterly.

"I'm not. He has his own issues and you have yours."

"No shit."

They were silent for a few moments.

"What do you want me to do Dani? I can't just...I told you, I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm definitely not ready for a relationship with _him._ "

"I know. Well all you can do is be a friend, right?"

Leo nodded. He stood up abruptly.

"I have to go."

Dani nodded.

"Why not? Stick me with the check again!"

"Dani!"

Dani laughed and waved him away.

"I'm kidding, see you later."

Leo sat inside his car for a good five minutes, trying to get his breathing steady. He wondered if he should call Neymar or go to him. What good would that do? What was he going to say? Dani told me all about your affairs and I have nothing to offer you? I'm just not ready to be in a relationship with you right now, but I want to have some say over your dating life anyway?

Finally he sighed and started the car. He drove home slowly, not wanting to be in his empty house, but not wanting to call anyone either. As he drove up the driveway, he saw Neymar's car, and then Neymar sitting on the doorstep. Leo smiled sadly to himself. Neymar had his eyes closed, face held up to the weak sun, huge headphones on.

"Ney," he said softly, touching his knee. 

He nearly jumped out of his skin and Leo laughed. Neymar's eyes were wide with shock as he stumbled up, removing his headphones.

"Wow," he said, laughing as he recovered from the shock, "these new headphones are the bomb. I literally didn't hear _anything..."_

Leo smiled and put his hands on Neymar's shoulders.

"Come here," he said, and pulled him into an embrace. Neymar bent down and pressed himself into Leo's body, head buried into his chest, arms around his waist. Leo rubbed the back of his neck softly. Sometimes this was so much better than talking. They fit into each other so well, and their bodies melted into each other easily. He could feel Neymar relaxing into his arms. But he was cold, and he was shivering a little bit.

"Come inside," he said.

Leo went into the living room, and Neymar followed. He went over to the big sofa and lay down on his back, sighing heavily. Neymar hovered over him uncertainly, and Leo patted the space next to him. He closed his eyes as he felt Neymar's head dropping onto his shoulder.

"Aren't you going to ask me about my date?" he finally said.

"No. Unless you want to tell me."

"All anyone needs to know is that it was terrible."

 Leo glanced sideways towards Neymar and chuckled.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

"I'm not?"

"No, you're jealous. Pointlessly and stupidly jealous."

"I know I'm stupid Ney, no need to say it."

Neymar laughed, shifting on to his side, chin resting on Leo's shoulder. He put an arm around Leo's chest. 

"It's okay. I'm stupid too."

"You're not."

"I really am. And I'm trying to be less stupid these days."

Leo could feel his eyes on him, and he couldn't hold it in. He moved his head to the side an looked into his eyes.

"I talked to Dani," he said quietly, "he told me about..."

He stopped when Neymar closed his eyes tightly.

"He didn't tell me...everything. Just the general thing."

Neymar spoke, but his eyes were still closed, and Leo looked away. It was easier this way.

"Like I said, I'm trying to be less stupid nowadays. I think I'm done with all that. Done with hooking up with random jerks. And I don't want to be that crazy person. Not again."

"I'm sorry Ney."

Neymar's arm tightened around him. Leo moved his arm and took Neymar's hand in his, interlacing their fingers together.

"Don't be sorry Leo. You're not ready. And I'm not ready either. But we're still friends. Right?"

"Yes. We are."

Leo breathed out. He felt relieved, but he also felt enormously, inexplicably sad. He couldn't turn his head and look at Neymar's face. Neither could he let go of his hand. He felt paralysed, but he knew he cared about Neymar a great deal. He could hold on to that, at least.

*

Things became somewhat easier. Leo found he could breathe easier around Neymar. Maybe he could just focus on being a good friend to him. In the meantime, there was football to worry about. He was in the starting lineup for the match against Roma, and the rest of the team was as excited about it as he was.

On Tuesday night, they beat Roma in style and everyone was in good spirits. They had a quick gathering of the team before everyone went home, and Leo went along this time. He really had no excuse not to, and he felt like going. He had been watching from the sidelines for what seemed like eternity. To be back, to have played the whole match, scored two goals, was amazing. Neymar and Luis had become even better in his absence, the whole team was gelling so much better. Feeling content, he settled on a sofa in the corner and watched his teammates, his friends - his brothers, really - laugh, and joke and enjoy themselves.

Eventually Pique came and slumped down next to him.

"Hey, everything okay with you?"

He put his arm around Leo's shoulders.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well I've been feeling like there's a lot going on with you. You seem emotional, and sometimes really annoyed. Today, you're okay but a little bit melancholy. What's up amor?"

Leo laughed and snuggled closer to Pique.

"Don't be silly. I'm tired and I'm happy to be back. Those are the two emotions."

"Hmm. I haven't been checking on you often enough. I'm such a bad friend."

"Stop it Geri. You just had a baby, and I'm fine."

Neymar's loud laughter could be heard across the room, and Geri looked at him significantly. 

"So," Geri said, "can you update me on the gossip? Who is fucking who these days?"

"You tell me! I've been out for two  months, remember?"

He tried to move away but Geri's hold around his shoulders tightened.

"Leo," he said, "tell me if you're having some kind of issue with...anyone...okay?"

"And what are you going to do? Beat them up?"

"Nah. I can't beat up someone who is half my size. But you can talk to me."

He looked at Leo and then looked over to Neymar pointedly. Leo covered his face with his hands and laughed. This is why he loved Geri. Even with the new baby and myriad distractions in his own life, even with Leo telling him nothing, he always instinctively hit upon the issue.

Neymar was chatting with Luis and Dani, and Leo felt his heart lift. No matter how bad things were, how lonely he got, he had friends who somehow understood him, even if he didn't share much of himself at all.

Later, Leo was thinking of leaving when Neymar came and sat down next to him. 

"Hey Leo," he said, smiling.

Leo had been in the same spot almost the whole time, and he hadn't talked to Neymar much. In between conversations with whoever came up and sat next to him, Leo had just been watching him flitting from person to person, laughing and joking. He hoped he hadn't been too obvious.

"Hey," he said, smiling back.

"You tired? Going home soon?"

"Yeah, I think so. Aren't you?"

"Mmm hmm."

Neymar seemed suddenly lost in thought, and Leo felt his chest tighten. He hoped he wasn't going to say he was meeting someone. It was late, but after what Dani had told him, who knew? He tried to control his expressions and he looked at his feet.

He felt Neymar's cool hand on his face and looked up startled. Neymar kept his hand on his cheek, looking at him curiously.

"Are you okay? What are you thinking of?"

"You don't really want to know."

Neymar moved his hand and smiled.

"Is it about me?"

Leo couldn't stop a short laugh from escaping him. 

"Is that a yes?"

Neymar looked at him with mischievous eyes and Leo couldn't help smiling back, blushing bright red. Neymar inched closer and took Leo's hand in his. Leo instinctively clutched it, before realising that everyone was here, including coaching staff. He let go and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Sorry about that," Neymar murmured, not looking sorry at all. He leaned his head on Leo's shoulder. People were starting to leave.

"Can you give me a ride?" Neymar finally asked.

"Yeah, sure. Too tired to drive?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

They got up to leave. Once they were in Leo's car, Neymar turned to him.

"Can I come to yours tonight?"

Leo started the car, glancing at Neymar. He didn't want to say no, but he wondered if he should. If he was  _supposed_ to. As a good friend.

"You don't have to say yes," Neymar said, looking away, "only if you want me to."

"Of course I want you to."

Neymar looked back at him, grinning happily. Leo rolled his eyes and started driving.

It was late and they were tired so they started getting ready for bed as soon as they got home. Leo put fresh sheets in the guest bedroom and tried not to look as Neymar stripped down to his briefs and slipped under the covers. Leo hovered awkwardly by the bed.

"Do you want anything?" he asked, and Neymar shook his head and grinned.

"What's that smile for?" Leo asked suspiciously.

"Well you asked if I want anything."

"And?"

"Can you tuck me in?"

Neymar laughed out loud, as if he'd said something hilarious.

"I will!" Leo said, and leaned down, tucking the blanket in. He made is so that it was really tight all around, and Neymar was practically trapped inside the bed. Neymar giggled helplessly, trying to move around.

"You took that really seriously Messi!"

"Well you're my guest."

"Can I have some hot chocolate?"

"But I already tucked you in. Your arms are under there so, I don't think so Ney."

Neymar pouted. Leo looked at him for a moment and sighed.

"Are you serious? You really want hot chocolate?"

Neymar gave him a look.

"You're not serious!"

"Well you don't have to. Unless you're making some for yourself?"

"I'm not a kid, I don't want hot chocolate in the middle of the night!"

"Okay, never mind."

"So you were serious?"

"I...it doesn't matter."

"You really want hot chocolate?"

Neymar grinned.

"You're right, it's late and..."

Leo stood up shaking his head.

"Well just don't expect it to be the best hot chocolate in the world."

He stalked out of the room and he could hear Neymar laughing as he walked downstairs. 

When he got back to the room, hot chocolate in hand, Neymar had extricated himself from the blanket. He tapped on the bed and Leo sat down, handing him the mug. Neymar took a sip and sighed contentedly.

"I don't know what you're talking about. This  _is_ the best hot chocolate in the world."

"Well I'm glad you like it."

Neymar sipped the hot drink happily, glancing at Leo from time to time.

"Why did not want to go home tonight?" Leo finally asked.

Neymar's eyes looked so intense in the dim light of the bedside lamp that when he fixed him with a gaze, Leo couldn't look away.

"Do you want the truth?"

"Yes."

Neymar put the drink down, and buried his face in his hands. His voice was muffled when he spoke.

"There is someone I shouldn't be calling that I might have called, if I wasn't with you."

Leo swallowed hard, and waited for Neymar to go on. Finally he raised his head and looked at Leo.

"I know that is extremely ironic, and I hope you understand that too, Messi."

"Why is that?"

"Because I'm trying to get over  _you_. And how can I, when I'm in your house and you're sitting next to me?"

Leo wasn't sure what to say. He gazed at Neymar, and his heart contracted painfully to see how vulnerable he looked. But there was something hard in his expression. He wasn't open in the way he used to be. The way he was that night he'd told Leo that he was starting to need him, and that he was scared. Now his eyes were guarded, keeping him out.

"I know I've hurt you a great deal Ney..." he began.

He stopped short when he saw Neymar's eyes brimming with tears.

"I understand," Neymar said, voice choking, "but you know what bothers me the most?"

"What?" Leo's voice came out in a whisper.

"The way you shut me out so quickly and so completely. Like I didn't mean anything to you."

He closed his eyes and the tears fell down his face. He wiped them roughly with his arm, as if angry that he'd shown so much emotion in front of Leo. Leo wanted to touch him, but he was afraid of what could happen. He wanted to kiss him, but he couldn't keep doing this to him.

"Anyway, what's the point of talking about all this?" he said. He picked up the hot chocolate from the night stand and smiled a little.

Leo stayed with him until he finished it, talking about different things. As soon as Neymar put his mug down and lay on the bed, his eyes fluttered shut. Leo stood by the bed for a few moments, just staring down at his peaceful, relaxed face, a hint of a smile on his lips. He was already asleep, breathing out steadily.

He couldn't help himself from leaning down and brushing his lips lightly over Neymar's lips. 

"Goodnight baby," he whispered softly, straightening up. 

He switched off the light and as he left the room, he heard Neymar murmuring back.

"Goodnight, Messi."

*


	22. Chapter 22

The light of the rising sun was slowly spreading its golden glow across the sky. Leo woke up and padded down to the living room. The whole room was ablaze with light and Leo picked up a book from the shelf and sat on the sofa. Coincidentally, he'd chosen the same Kahlil Gibran poetry book that he'd been reading when Neymar dropped by all those weeks ago.

 

He lay it on his lap and closed his eyes, the sleep not quite gone from his body. He hadn't had a good night's sleep. He kept waking up in the middle of the night, thousand thoughts flooding his mind and keeping him up. He was impatient for Neymar to wake up, and he felt like his body was being pulled in the direction of the guest bedroom. But he stayed put.

 

After a few minutes of dosing off, he heard soft footsteps and opened his eyes. He smiled to see Neymar standing in the shaft of sunlight, all golden and smiling. His beauty made Leo's heart hurt. He couldn't help staring at his naked body, swaying a little from side to side in the sun. Leo closed his eyes and wondered if this was another of those dreams.

 

"Good morning," Neymar said softly, and still Leo didn't want to open his eyes again. He couldn't take it if it wasn't real. 

 

He heard Neymar shuffling closer, and then sitting down on the table in front of him. Leo opened his eyes. He was close, but he wasn't touching.

 

"Read me something," Neymar said, leaning forward. 

 

Leo picked up the book on his lap. He opened it to a random place and started reading from a random paragraph.

 

"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself."

 

He looked up to see Neymar smiling. Leo bit back a smile and continued.

 

"But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night."

 

He paused and looked up again. Neymar's face had grown a little serious, and he was staring, directly, intimidatingly, into Leo's eyes. He tore his eyes away with some struggle, and glanced back at the page. 

 

"To know the pain of too much tenderness."

 

He could hear his voice shaking, and he blushed deep with embarrassment.

 

"To be wounded by your own understanding of love."

 

His hands shook now, and his whole body was trembling lightly. His voice came out as a hoarse whisper. He dared not look up at Neymar and he swallowed painfully.

 

"And to bleed willingly and joyfully."

 

He shut the book and closed his eyes, breathing harshly. He just couldn't go on. Neymar took both his hands in his. Then he climbed onto his lap, straddling him, pulling him close to his chest. Leo left his eyes closed, and ran his hands along Neymar's bare back.

 

After holding him close for a while, Neymar pulled back a little and kissed him softly on the mouth. Leo reacted immediately, clutching at his body and kissing back fiercely. It was the same feeling as before, like he was dying of thirst and he'd been given a drink. 

 

They were both in just briefs and it wasn't long before they were both hard, cocks pressing against each other. Neymar didn't waste time grinding together, and Leo followed suit, moaning into Neymar's mouth. Neymar reached down and released both their cocks, pressing and rubbing them together. With his other hand, he reached up and held Leo's throat on one side, sucking delicately on the pulse on the other side. Leo threw his head back, moaning, and braced himself with one hand against the back of the sofa.

 

With his other hand, he reached down and grasped Neymar's cock. As he stroked upwards, Neymar groaned and sucked at Leo's throat harder. They stroked each other's cocks in time, hips bucking up and down slowly, reveling in the friction. Precome made both their cocks slick and they worked their wrists, twisting and stroking. In the meantime, Neymar continued sucking on the delicate skin under Leo's jaw, varying pressure at his pulse, lapping his tongue up and down the spot thickly, curling his tongue around the area.

 

Leo was beyond aroused, cock throbbing and bucking in Neymar's hand. Neymar's tongue playing over his throat made sharp sensations of pleasure shoot up and down his spine, his stomach was churning continuously, orgasm building low and explosive deep inside.

 

Neymar was moaning too, grinding hard into Leo's hand. His hold on Leo's throat tightened. Leo gasped for air and that was the moment he let go and came, come spattering all over both their stomachs. A moment later, Neymar was coming too, loudly groaning and biting down on Leo's throat. They both shuddered with the release, gasping and moaning. Leo leaned his head forward, under Neymar's chin, and Neymar held on to him.

 

As their breathing evened out, Neymar ran his hands all over Leo, smearing his own come all over his body.

 

"Leo..." he whispered, kissing the top of his head.

 

"Mmmm..."

 

Leo rubbed his forehead over Neymar's neck, pressing his lips against his sweaty skin.

 

"I...I love your body," Neymar said, stroking his skin with the tips of his fingers.

 

Leo embraced Neymar.

 

"I love your body too."

 

After some time, Neymar pulled back and looked into Leo's eyes, shifting a little in his lap. 

 

"The pain of too much tenderness," he said, smiling. Leo smiled back and Neymar kissed him gently. He gazed at him for a few moments, still smiling, and then climbed off his lap. He picked up his briefs and put them back on.

 

"You're leaving me like this?" Leo asked teasingly, and Neymar raised an eyebrow.

 

"Yeah, consider yourself lucky," he said, biting his lower lip, and running his tongue over his lip.

 

"You look beautiful right now," Leo said and Neymar blushed. 

 

"I don't normally look beautiful?"

 

"You look the most beautiful in the morning sun."

 

"Then I should wake up in your house more often."

 

"You should."

 

They stared at each other for a long moment, and then Neymar giggled and turned away. Leo watched as he walked out of the room slowly, hips swinging ever so slightly, suggestively. Leo looked up at the ceiling and shook his head in wonder.

 

After a few minutes, Neymar came back into the room. He was dressed and ready to leave, fiddling with the button of his white shirt. 

 

"I gotta go."

 

"Okay," Leo replied.

 

"This was fun," he said casually, "it's just fun, nothing more. Okay?"

 

Leo nodded.

 

"Okay."

 

 Neymar smiled and winked. Then he turned around and left.

 

*


	23. Chapter 23

Leo walked through the tunnel slowly, trailing behind everyone. He took his time, catching his breath, letting his heartbeat go back to normal. He felt good but exhausted, a little annoyed that he wasn't quite match fit yet. These things filled him with great impatience, but it was a process and he just had to deal with it.

He was the last one to get into the locker room. It was an early match, and most of the players had plans with their families. He spotted Neymar in the corner. He had showered already and had a towel wrapped around his body. Leo tried not to stare.

"Hey," he said, leaning on one of the lockers, "thanks for that goal."

Neymar laughed and leaned on the locker next to him. 

"Anything to make you smile."

Leo glanced over quickly.

"What are you trying to say?"

Neymar turned his head, and his eyes were full of mischief.

"Nothing," he replied, smirking.

"Are you saying I was pissed off about not scoring?"

"Well _pissed off_  is too strong."

"So what are you saying?"

"You might have been sulking a little bit. But what do I know."

Neymar looked away, staring at the wall opposite. But Leo could make out a smile still playing on his lips.

"Okay," he conceded, "I was a little frustrated."

Neymar glanced back at him.

"I get it."

"That's why I'm thanking you!"

Neymar looked into his eyes and smiled, and Leo felt his heart skip a beat.

"I know Leo. But you don't have to thank me."

It would be easy to forget that there were other people milling around, talking, discussing the match, joking.

"Having a little heart to heart here?" Pique shouted, ruffling Leo's hair.

Everyone laughed and Leo felt his cheeks getting warm.

"Well not anymore, thanks Geri," Neymar replied, punching Pique playfully in the stomach.

"Oh I'm _sorry_ ," Pique replied, "I'll leave you two alone." He backed away laughing, and Neymar shifted a bit closer. He stretched a little, rolling his neck. His head dropped onto Leo's shoulder momentarily.

It was the briefest of contact, but Leo felt a sharp sensation deep inside his belly. Like a hand curling up into a tight fist. Before he knew what he was saying, the words had left his mouth.

"Come home with me."

He glanced sideways at Neymar. He was chewing on his bottom lip. The locker room was almost completely empty, silence settling in.

"No. But come with me. Don't you need to shower?"

Leo discarded his clothes as he followed Neymar to the stalls. Neymar walked all the way to the last stall and gestured for Leo to get in. Leo walked in and leaned against the cold tiles, body taut with anticipation. Neymar flung his towel aside and knelt down. He immediately took Leo's semi-hard cock into his mouth. Leo moaned, cock growing big and hard quickly.

"Mmm," Neymar said, flicking his eyes up.

Leo stared down at him, bracing himself against the tiles, biting his lip.

"Yes," he whispered.

Neymar withdrew his mouth and slowly stroked Leo's cock.

"Yes?" he said, reaching his tongue out and licking over his lips.

It was so hot just to watch him. Leo leaned back and closed his eyes, moaning out loud. He felt Neymar's hot tongue on him again. He bucked his hips, fucking slowly into Neymar's mouth. The sound and sensation of Neymar moaning over his cock aroused him even more.

"Ney...yes, _yes..."_  he babbled, his thrusts getting rougher, as Neymar hollowed his cheeks, and gripped onto Leo's hips for balance.

He opened his eyes to see Neymar bobbing his head up and down in rhythm and he couldn't help himself from grabbing onto his hair and lifting his mouth up and down his cock as he fucked into it.

Neymar pulled off, breathing harshly.

"Leo," he panted, "I love it when you fuck my mouth like that."

He gazed up at Leo with utter lust clouding his eyes.

Before Leo could respond, Neymar descended on his cock again, deep throating deliciously. The contractions around his cock were too much. Jerking forward roughly, Leo held on to Neymar's head and came deep inside his throat.

He cried out loudly, his body shuddering and then stilling while Neymar sucked him dry, swallowing his come in one big gulp.

When Neymar stood up, Leo could see his legs shaking. He leaned on the opposite wall, eyeing Leo hungrily. Leo's eyes travelled over his body, settling on his hard, leaking cock. Neymar brought a hand down and stroked his cock lazily, gazing at Leo with eyes that looked almost sleepy.

Leo closed the gap between them and batted Neymar's hand away.

"No you don't have to..." Neymar began, but Leo was swiftly on his knees, swallowing Neymar's cock.

" _Oh...!"_  Neymar finished the sentence.

It didn't take Neymar long to come, crying out and thrusting into Leo's mouth. Leo looked up, Neymar's cock still in his mouth, and Neymar looked down at him with tender eyes. He reached down his hand and stroked up and down Leo's jaw with the gentlest of touches. Leo gave his cock one last suck and stood up. They regarded each other in silence for a few moments.

Suddenly they could hear voices inside the bathroom.

"Get in here after you pick up the shirts," someone called out.

Leo felt panic rising in his chest, but Neymar reached behind him and turned on the shower, breaking the silence.

"Oh someone's still in there," another voice called out, "let's do this one in ten minutes."

Neymar drew Leo into the warm stream of water, encircling his waist and Leo wrapped his arms round his neck, clinging to him. 

The cleaning staff could still be heard moving around, talking, and they stood still under the shower for a while. It felt natural for them to stroke each other's bodies, but what Leo wanted most was to kiss him. He was afraid to though, afraid of what he might do or say.

Neymar reached for the shower gel and rubbed some between his palms. He slathered it all over Leo's body, rubbing gently. Then he shampooed up Leo's hair, massaging his hair firmly. Leo went completely pliant in his hands, letting himself be carefully manoeuvred.

"Close your eyes," Neymar murmured, carefully rinsing the shampoo from his hair. He turned the water off and Leo shivered. Soon he felt a soft towel being rubbed all over his body. He opened his eyes to find Neymar looking intently at him, as he dried him off. He rubbed his hair with the towel briskly, before wrapping him up in it.

"What?" Neymar said, smile shy and lopsided, as Leo watched him.

Leo shook his head, shivering in the towel. Neymar wrapped his own towel around himself and regarded Leo with a frown on his face.

"Are you cold?" he said. He threw his arms around him and held him close.

"No," Leo whispered helplessly.

Neymar drew back a little and looked at him again.

"Look at you," he said softly, "All clean and gorgeous." He sighed and his sigh seemed to pierce Leo's heart. A deep feeling of emptiness suddenly opened up inside him. He shouldn't have said it, but he couldn't help himself.

"Come home with me Ney," he said.

Neymar smiled sadly and shook his head.

"Please. I need more." Leo's inner voice was screaming at him to shut up, to not ruin things even more, but he couldn't control himself..

"I can't Leo. We can't."

Leo felt dizzy and he leaned against the tiles.

"I want to see you when I wake up in the morning," he whispered, fighting to control the tears that were welling up in his eyes.

Neymar leaned down and kissed him.

"You ask too much," he murmured, "I can't give you that."

He kissed Leo once more, on the cheek. Then he turned around and left. Leo squeezed his eyes shut, tears running down his cheeks. 

_"Fuck!"_

He pressed tight fists against the cold wall.

All he wanted to do was scream. But he could hear voices outside. He took a deep breath and secured the towel around his waist.

It was time to go home.

*


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, I'd like to thank everyone who is still reading (and especially taking the time to comment) for sticking with this story, despite feelings of sadness. I'm afraid the sadness doesn't end yet, but I've added some extra drama! Hope that helps? Or not? Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for the support, I really wouldn't be motivated if it wasn't for all the comments. Hope you enjoy this one. xoxo

"Did you say something to him last night?"

"Jesus, Dani."

Leo turned away. He almost wished he hadn't come to the training centre today. They had a day off after all. He'd dragged himself from bed, telling himself that he needed to get in some extra work. But maybe somewhere in his mind, he'd hoped to run into Neymar.

Instead he had Dani on his case. Again. And he was very persistent.

"Why was he so upset last night Leo?"

Leo looked into Dani's worried eyes.

"You saw him last night?"

"No, he called me after he got home."

"About what?"

"He wasn't very specific, he just wanted to talk."

"Well what did he say, Dani?"

Leo felt annoyed and impatient.

"Nothing!"

"So how the fuck do you know he was upset?"

Dani's eyes widened and Leo looked around the room quickly. He hadn't meant to shout.

"Leo, he just called me and talked about whatever. I just felt like he sounded very down."

"Why do you ask me if I did something?"

"I don't know. It was just a guess."

Dani arched an eyebrow.

"Maybe he did something to me? Does it ever occur to you? Is everything always my fault?"

Leo felt a little hurt, to say the least. He was pretty upset himself last night when he got home. It was hard to fall asleep, thinking about Neymar's eyes gazing up at him. The feeling of his warm mouth on his cock. His fingers massaging his scalp. And then Neymar telling him 'no' when he'd asked him to come home with him.

But he'd woken up in the morning and come to work. He was trying to move past the deep and desperate longing inside his heart, to let go of the pain and guilt he felt every time he thought about Neymar. Which was All.The.Fucking.Time.

Dani put a hand on his arm.

"I didn't mean..." he began, but Leo shrugged him off and walked away. He didn't even know how he felt or what exactly he wanted. He was certainly in no position to try and explain it to anyone else.

Later in the afternoon, relaxing at home, he was still in a bit of a bad mood when his doorbell rang. He shuffled to the door slowly and it rang again.

It was Neymar at the door, breathless and grinning sheepishly.

"Leo!" he said, pushing in.

"Hey, what..."

Neymar was quickly walking across the lobby.

"I just need to pee!" he called out over his shoulder.

Leo smiled to himself. What was the kid up to anyway? He went and sat down in the living room and after a few minutes Neymar walked in. He didn't sit down though. He seemed very restless and he paced up and down.

"I'm not staying," he said quickly.

"Where are off to?" Leo asked.

"To the airport, to pick up a friend," he said, averting his eyes. He stopped moving for a second, and Leo looked at his face properly. He seemed strangely overhyped, eyes a little swollen and red-rimmed.

"Ney, is everything okay?"

Neymar laughed out.

"Yes! Of course. What are you up to today? Doing anything interesting? I bet you went to training today, huh?"

Leo watched amused, as Neymar babbled nervously.

"You're going to the airport and you dropped in here to go to the bathroom? It's not even on the way," he finally said, watching Neymar's face closely.

Neymar blushed.

"No no...I just wanted to say hello. Is that allowed?"

"You know I'm always happy to see you Ney."

Neymar looked at him, biting his lower lip. 

"You want to sit down?"

He grinned.

"I have to go soon."

He walked over and sat down anyway. 

"Are you okay?" Leo asked.

"Why do you keep asking me that?"  Neymar murmured, looking at his hands.

"You know why."

"No, I don't know why." He sounded almost sulky.

"Because I care about you, Ney. You know that, right?"

He looked up and smiled.

"I do know that Leo."

"Good."

Neymar continued staring at him and Leo couldn't help it. He leaned forward and took Neymar's hands in his. Neymar responded by closing his hands over Leo's tightly for a few seconds. Then he sighed and let go. He stood up.

"I have to go Leo," he said softly.

Leo looked away. It was just too much. It was almost better not to see him at all, than to see him for five minutes, and then spend the rest of his time in painful yearning.

"Leo..."

Leo took a deep breath and tried to calm his suddenly racing heart. He looked up to find Neymar staring at him expectantly. He sighed and stood up.

"Okay. So I'll see you tomorrow? At the team lunch?"

Neymar nodded. Then he moved towards him tentatively. He reached out his arms and hugged Leo, bending down awkwardly and burying his face into Leo's chest. Leo was surprised and he stood still, arms hanging stiffly at his sides.

" _Leo_ ," Neymar said, tone pleading, "hold me, please."

Leo wrapped his arms around Neymar and held him. He wasn't sure why, but he felt afraid. 

"Are you okay?" he asked softly. He felt Neymar nodding, face still pressed to his chest.

"Who are you meeting at the airport?"

Neymar went still for a moment and then he withdrew, grazing Leo's cheek with a soft kiss.

"Just a friend from Brazil," he mumbled, backing away.

Leo watched Neymar reversing his car from his driveway. He closed the front doors and locked them. He felt like drawing all the blinds in the house and sleeping for a few days. He had so many feelings and thoughts overwhelming him that he couldn't even begin to sort through them, analyse them, or talk to anyone about it. He could go over to Luis' place, hang out with his family. He was always welcome there. But he couldn't drag himself out.

He walked to the bathroom and washed his face with cold water. Neymar had been here moments ago. And now he'd left him and gone off again. Every time he had to separate from Neymar, it felt like another crack in his heart.

He looked around the bathroom. He never came in here, and it was sparse, like a hotel bathroom. He absently opened the medicine cabinet. It was completely empty except for a crucifix, a big one, black beads glistening in the bright lights of the bathroom.

Leo stared at it frowning. It was unmistakeable. It definitely belonged to Neymar. He picked it up and wrapped it around his hand. He could just picture it lying next to Neymar's warm brown skin. But what was it doing there? He put it back inside the cabinet and closed the door.

Leo felt extremely perplexed. He tried to think of the last time Neymar had been over. He had slept in the guest bedroom, which had it's own bathroom. Did he just leave that in there today? But why would he put it inside the cabinet? Leo picked up his phone to text him, but something told him not to. He would let it be for the time being.

*

Neymar was late for the team lunch the next day. Leo noted it because he watched and waited intently for Neymar to show up. He was aware of people talking to him, around him, but his mind was not in it. Thankfully, people accepted the fact that he was withdrawn sometimes. They let him be.

On top of everything else, he had to go to the La Liga awards in the evening. He disliked these events intensely. He was uncomfortable 100% of the time, he hated engaging in small talk, and he was sure to win something so he had to prepare something to say. At least Andres would be going with him (so would Neymar, but he tried not to think about that for now). Andres had been with him to these events and galas countless times, and he always helped Leo feel calmer.

Finally Neymar showed up. He looked a little disheveled, with huge sunglasses covering his eyes. He immediately started talking and laughing with everyone.

"He looks like he had a fun night and is paying the price for it now!"

Leo turned to his side to find Luis giving him a significant look.

"Well it has nothing to do with me," he snapped. 

Luis touched his shoulder.

"I know. I just commented because you're staring at him. Stop staring so much!"

Leo blushed.

"Well remind me again if I'm being too obvious, okay?"

"Sure!"

Luis giggled. Neymar was making his way around the room, hugging everyone. When he got to them he kissed Luis on the cheek and sat next to Leo. He leaned in and put his head on Leo's shoulder.

"Hey," he spoke low into his ear.

"Hey, you're late."

"I know. And I'm hungover."

Leo rolled his eyes.

"Partying with your friend?"

"I know it's stupid but I got a bit carried away."

Leo moved his arm and put it around Neymar's shoulder, and Neymar sighed and moved closer. Leo tightened his hold. There was something so small and vulnerable about Neymar today that he felt a little protective. He had no idea where that feeling came from, all of a sudden.

"Well eat something. And drink water," he mumbled.

"I will."

Neymar looked over towards the buffet, but made no move to get up. He nestled closer to Leo. 

"Do you want me to get you some food?"

Neymar chuckled.

"Ah, no. What are you? My boyfriend?"

"Clearly not."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Oh shut up."

Neymar laughed and straightened up.

"Okay, I'm going for it."

Leo moved his arm and patted Neymar's back. He watched him walk away. Dani came and sat down next to him and Leo groaned loudly.

"Oh come on!" Dani protested, and Leo laughed.

"Sorry about yesterday. I was just in a bad mood," he said.

Dani laughed.

"And I'm sorry for blaming you for  _everything_! I won't do it again."

"Thank you."

"But I need to tell you something."

"Oh god. What?"

"I have a bad feeling that Ney's ex is in town."

"What?"

It was really hard to talk when people were walking in and out of conversations. Dani pulled Leo's head closer and spoke in a low voice.

"I think he's been calling him. It's so stupid but I wouldn't put it past him."

"What is he doing here?"

"I don't know. And don't tell Ney I mentioned it. I don't even know for sure but I just have a bad feeling."

Leo pulled away and looked all around the room, searching for Neymar. Finally he saw him in the corner with a plate of food. He was engrossed in texting, expression serious.

"What am I supposed to do about it?" Leo asked Dani, "He never even told me anything."

Dani's eyes looked dark and worried. He shook his head.

"I really, really hope he isn't stupid enough to call that guy."

*

The gala was a blur of handshakes and champagne and short, annoying conversations with many people. In the afterparty, Leo wondered if Neymar was avoiding him or if he was being paranoid. He was proud to see Neymar up on the stage, but when he tried to congratulate him later, Neymar thanked him and quickly walked away.

He didn't see him for the rest of the party, and only briefly before they all left. Leo tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. After all, what was there to talk about? Maybe it was better to spare each other the pain. So long as they still played football well together - and they would - everything would be alright.

It was indeed a shock to wake up the next morning to a million messages on his phone and, following a link someone sent him, Neymar's face on the front page. 

**"Barcelona superstar in altercation with police after attending La Liga Awards."**

There were lots of messages from teammates, a lot of links to different websites. A particularly terrible photo of Neymar, looking drunk and angry, had been used in multiple news sites. The gist of the story was that Neymar's car had been stopped by the police for erratic driving. Luckily, he hadn't been drinking. But it seems he had been arguing with a passenger inside the car, almost coming to blows as the police tried to question him.

"It looks worse than it actually is!" Leo said when Luis called.

"How?"

"Well when you first see it, it looks like he was drunk driving and then he got into a fight with the police. Which is really bad."

"But then...?"

"But then, he wasn't actually drunk. And he wasn't actually fighting with the police!"

"Yes, but that's what all the papers will make it sound like!"

Luis had a point.

"He didn't answer my call," Leo said.

"Yeah same here. I'll try him again."

Later Pique called to let Leo know that Neymar had gone to talk to the coach and the club, to explain his side. They would support him, he assured him. 

"Leo, some websites are running with this other angle, now that they know he wasn't drunk driving." 

Geri's voice sounded worried.

"What other angle?"

"Well, that he was fighting with a...lover. You know, a  _male_  lover."

Leo closed his eyes.

_Shit._

"I mean, I don't know if that's true. Do you know if it's true? He hasn't been taking my calls, or anyone's. It might just blow up into a big story, you know what I mean?"

"Geri, let me try him again," Leo's voice came out cracked and hoarse.

After hanging up, he stared at his phone. His hand shook. He finally took a deep breath and called Neymar. It kept ringing but no one replied. Leo tried again. 

"Hello?"

"Ney?"

Leo knew it wasn't Neymar. He would recognise Neymar's voice anywhere, and this person sounded very different.

"No, it's not Neymar." He was very blunt.

"Where's Neymar? Can I speak to him?"

There was a silence lasting several seconds. Leo looked at his phone, wondering if he'd been disconnected. But the call was still going. Finally the man spoke again, and his voice was low, almost bored sounding, and definitely menacing.

"I don't give a fuck who you are. Don't try to interfere between Ney and me. Don't call him, unless it's about work. I know a lot about you, and I know a lot about Ney, and I can ruin you both."

He hung up.

Leo felt a cold sweat breaking out all over his body. He stared at the phone, completely speechless with shock.

*

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you, lovely readers. Thanks for reading/commenting/kudos. You guys are really the best. xoxo  
> I should warn that there is mention of abuse in this chapter.

When his phone buzzed, Leo almost leaped out of his seat to get it. He had been waiting around for hours, wanting to call Neymar but doubting if he should. Not that he was  _really_ afraid of the threatening voice that had answered Neymar's phone earlier in the morning. But he didn't want to complicate things for Neymar. Not until he knew more about the situation. About his ex who'd arrived from Brazil. Who had treated Neymar so badly, and who was supposed to be firmly in the past. Not here in Barcelona, where Neymar was doing so well. 

The message was not from him, but from Pique.

 

_Check out your boy's press conference happening right now_

Leo quickly turned on the TV and there he was, speaking before a bunch of journalists, the Club's president standing supportively next to him. Explaining himself. Cool as a cucumber. 

 

"I know that this is not how a player at Barca, the best club in the world, is expected to behave. And for that I apologise. But I have to mention that all the reports in the media accusing me of drink driving and resisting arrest are completely false. The Club will provide you with the police record of the incident, and there should be no room for doubt."

 

Neymar was reading from a written statement, voice cool and steady. He looked up briefly, and Leo flinched at how cold and numb his eyes looked. He was going to take questions.

 

"If you weren't intoxicated, why did the police stop you for erratic driving?"

 

Neymar looked appropriately serious.

 

"They were doing their jobs. I wasn't driving very smoothly, not used to my new car. And they wanted to check if there was a problem. There wasn't, but I commend them for doing their jobs."

 

Leo almost smiled. He was really good at this.

 

The next reporter spoke quickly and excitedly.

 

"We heard that you were having a lovers' quarrel in the car Neymar. Would you like to comment on the rumours reported by many websites that you're gay and..."

 

"I think the answer is in your question. You refer to  _rumours_  reported by websites. But you guys are the real journalists right? Surely you don't care about rumours on the internet."

 

It was so smooth that Leo's mouth was hanging open in shock. He didn't even falter one bit. It was the journalist who started to sputter nervously.

 

"And no," Neymar continued, "I would not like to comment on my sexuality. No one should be compelled to. Thank you very much."

 

With that he turned and left with the Barcelona entourage trailing after him.

 

Leo could hear his phone blowing up, but he didn't care to check. He just wanted to speak to Neymar, but he had to wait for him to reach out.

 

During training the next day, it was as if the whole team had collectively decided not to talk about  _it_ _._ He wondered if Geri had told everyone to keep their mouths shut. It was entirely possible. He saw Luis speaking to Neymar quietly before training started, and Dani hovered close to him for most of the session.

 

Neymar seemed fine. He acted normal enough, but a sense of tension hung over him. He was quieter than usual but he did the normal things. He trained with Leo, but he didn't linger. He seemed to have a hard time meeting his eyes, and he turned away from him faster than usual. There was clearly a distance between them. No one else would have noticed enough to comment on it, but Leo felt it deep inside his bones.

 

Leo had to find a way to say something, but he was never alone. At the end of training, he waited, hoping to walk back with him. But Neymar went up to the coach and fell into conversation with him as they walked back.

 

Back in the dressing room, everyone seemed to be lingering and Neymar quickly took off his clothes and walked to the shower. Leo sat down, determined to wait it out. Neymar came back soon enough, glanced at him and nodded and turned to his locker. That was when Leo noticed it. A big blue bruise across his shoulder blade. He narrowed his eyes and scanned his skin. Was that more bruising at the base of his neck?

 

But his observations were interrupted by Neymar quickly pulling on a t-shirt. 

 

Leo's head was spinning. His mind told him to act quickly,  _do something,_ before Neymar finished dressing and went away from him again. They were all covered in bruises of all kinds at any given time. But there was something off about this. Or was he imagining it? Neymar turned around at that very moment, and caught Leo staring. The way he averted his eyes instantly and backed away told Leo all he needed to know. He stood up and glanced around. There were still too many players in the room.

 

"Ney," he said, softly.

 

"Don't you need to shower?" Neymar said loudly, with a forced laugh.

 

"I need to speak to you first," Leo answered.

 

"Tomorrow," Neymar said, firmly, urgently, staring into Leo's eyes for a brief moment.

 

Before Leo could say anything, he had slipped past him and was hurrying away. Leo ran after him, pushing roughly past several people standing by the doors. He caught up just as Neymar was about to leave the building. He grabbed his shoulders and turned him around. Neymar was startled enough that Leo was able to drag him towards him and press him gently, but firmly, against the wall.

 

"Ney..." he started.

 

"Please Leo," he said, closing his eyes, "whatever you need to talk about can wait."

 

"No," Leo insisted, pressing his hands to the wall on either side of him and trapping him, "look at me."

 

Neymar opened his eyes, but it was like he wasn't there. 

 

"What's going on with you?" he whispered urgently, "can we please go somewhere and talk?"

 

Neymar shook his head, looking at the ground.

 

"Not right now Leo," he replied, voice small.

 

"When?"

 

"I don't know. But I really have to go now. I...I have an appointment."

 

He looked up, face flushing, eyes tired. He seemed so far away, and Leo felt desperate to pull him back, somehow.

 

"Don't lie to me Ney," he said gently. He lifted his hand and stroked his cheekbone with a thumb. Neymar flinched and pressed into the wall, as if his touch burned him, and Leo backed away. He felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, but he persisted.

 

"You can talk to me," he said.

 

"Please Leo," Neymar replied, voice hardly audible, "please don't insist. If you care about me at all, even a little...just let me be."

 

Leo opened his mouth and closed it again.

 

"Of course I care about you. And not a little. I fucking care about you a lot."

 

Neymar finally looked at him properly, like he hadn't done all day. Something seemed to flicker in his eyes. His face softened ever so slightly.

 

"Then let me go," he said, softly. He slipped past Leo, and this time he let him.

 

He could hardly walk back to the locker room. His heart felt heavy and the heaviness seemed to transmit to his limbs. By the time he got back, no one was there except Geri. He was sitting on the bench, and when Leo entered he looked up expectantly.

 

"I'm a bit worried about you amor," he said, "I think we should talk?"

 

Leo leaned against the wall, feeling relieved. He sighed and nodded.

 

Geri insisted on driving him home, and Leo was happy to lean back into the seat and close his eyes. Geri was going to talk to "his guy" who would "pay a visit to our friend". The phrases almost made him laugh, but Geri was dead serious. More serious than Leo had ever seen him. And he trusted him, always had and always would.

 

He didn't sleep well that night, jolting awake every couple of hours and checking his phone. He felt frustrated and soon it was time to wake up and get ready for training. His eyes searched for Neymar as soon as he entered the complex. He felt jittery and restless, sitting alone and picking at his breakfast. When he spotted Neymar, he put down his fork entirely. To his surprise, Neymar walked straight to his table and sat down across from him. He pressed his palms against the table and sighed heavily.

 

"Leo, can I ask you something?"

 

"Of course."

 

"Can you please not interfere with my shit?"

 

Leo looked at him and he glared back angrily.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Just...I can handle it. Okay?"

 

"Handle what?"

 

"Whatever you think is happening, I can handle it."

 

"Ney..."

 

Neymar stood up quickly, his chair dragging loudly across the floor. He leaned forward.

 

"I'm done Leo. Just leave it."

 

His tone was hostile and aggressive, and he turned and walked away. Pique came over soon after and sat across from Leo.

 

"He basically told me to mind my own business," Leo blurted out.

 

"Yeah I'm not surprised. I had someone go and talk to the guy last night."

 

"And what happened?"

 

"Look Leo, my guy doesn't think the guy is a huge deal but we don't know what's up with him and Ney, right? And if Ney is pushing you away, then it's hard to do anything about it. I mean I can still ask my guy to look into it but it's kind of hard."

 

Geri was still speaking but Leo had stopped listening. His eyes travelled across the room to Neymar, who was sitting with the Brazilians. He was laughing but Leo couldn't help seeing the pain in his eyes. He felt like bursting into tears.

 

*

 

Leo hated it when people tried to make him feel better after he'd had a bad game. It made him hurt even more. His teammates knew to give him space, but it didn't stop the stray hand lingering on his body soothingly, the odd word of comfort thrown his way. And after drawing with Valencia, after simply being unable to play at the level he desperately  _wanted_ to and knew he was capable of, all the words and touches made him burn.

 

He responded the only way he knew how, by tuning out everyone and everything, until he felt able to face it and, finally, let it go. All the handshakes and the professional niceties were done numbly, just going through the motions. 

 

He got to the locker room, still reeling with anger. Anger at  _himself,_ always. It was never anyone else Leo blamed. He should be good enough. The amount of praise and credit he got, he should live up to it. On some level, he knew this was somewhat irrational but he had to go through the whole process before he could accept it.

 

In these moments, he wasn't quite aware of his environment. He pulled off his jersey and dropped it on the ground next to his shoes. He heard his teammates buzzing around him, talking, laughing even. He closed his eyes and leaned on the locker, trying to steady his breathing.

 

He didn't know how long he stayed this way. Long enough for the sweat on his body to start feeling cold. He opened his eyes, startled, when warm hands pressed against his stomach. For a moment, all he saw was green. He let himself get lost in it for a while. Then his eyes dropped to Neymar's beautiful mouth, speaking words he couldn't quite hear.

 

Neymar moved closer, moving his hands to encircle Leo's waist. He covered Leo's body with his body, as if protecting him from the world. Leo could see that everyone was there, aware of what was happening, and he buried his face into Neymar's chest. He let go, getting lost in the embrace. The feeling of his face against Neymar's bare skin, and Neymar's fingers running firmly up and down his back was so comforting, it felt like home. He never wanted to leave.

 

Neymar dropped soft kisses on his ear, and then all along the side of his neck. It brought Leo back down to earth, made him aware of the voices of his teammates. He lifted his head so he could look around. He wasn't imagining his teammates throwing glances their way. Neymar didn't seem to care, peppering his face with kisses and stroking his naked torso, pressing him against the locker. And, in that moment, Leo didn't care either. He turned his head and kissed Neymar's chest, bringing his arms around his neck and clinging to him. Neymar pulled him closer, using a knee to part Leo's legs. He held him tightly, grinding their hardening cocks together, sucking at the side of Leo's neck and rocking him gently from side to side.

 

"Let's get out of here," Neymar whispered finally, pulling away. Half of the team had moved on to the showers and the other half was standing around, staring in shock. But Neymar seemed to feel no awkwardness as he entwined his fingers tightly with Leo's and lead him away. Leo followed, in a daze.

 

And they didn't even try to be quiet, in the shower stall. It was impossible. Everyone knew they were in there together anyway. Leo gazed at Neymar's face, cheek pressed to the tiles, eyes tightly shut, as he pressed into him. He was tight, they hadn't done much preparation. And as he pushed in and pulled out, he concentrated on his face, that beautiful face, and he could see a teardrop gathered at the corner of his eye, lingering there.

 

When he sucked slowly at his neck, Neymar cried out, and opened his eyes, looking back at Leo. He leaned down and kissed the purpling bruise on his shoulder blade, and Neymar shut his eyes again, tears rolling slowly down his cheek.

 

Leo gripped his hips and fucked him, thrusting in deep and grinding slowly. He couldn't help thinking about their first time, up against his front door. He wanted Neymar to come to him, to come  _home._ But he couldn't say it now, it was too late.

 

He concentrated on the sensation of Neymar's tight heat, clenched around his impossibly hard cock. He was pushing back now, in time with Leo's thrusts. They were both close, moaning loudly every time Leo pushed in. He reached around and grabbed Neymar's cock, stroking firmly. Neymar spread his legs further apart and Leo slid in and out frantically. Neymar's cock was slick with precome and Leo pumped it hard and fast. 

 

"Leo, Leo..." Neymar chanted, moving his head and pressing his forehead to the tiles. 

 

And then he came, letting out a broken, sobbing moan, come splashing warmly over Leo's fingers. He clenched hard around Leo's cock and, with a final thrust, Leo came too, buried deep inside Neymar. He felt the stress and anger drain out of him. For a few seconds, he felt emptied and blissful.

 

He pressed hard into Neymar, not wanting to let go, embracing him tightly around the waist. He kissed his neck, behind his ear - so soft and delicate was the skin there that Leo lingered, licking gentle little points all over. He could feel Neymar shuddering under him, and then he sighed and tried to move away.

 

"No, no Leo..." he whispered, "Don't...I can't..."

 

Leo nosed behind his ear.

 

"Didn't you say that was your weak spot?" he murmured, suddenly remembering. How long ago it seemed...

 

"Did I?"

 

Neymar wriggled free and turned around, putting his arms around Leo's neck. He smiled a little, but he looked so sad. It was unbearable. Leo couldn't look at him. He closed his eyes and kissed him hard. Neymar's fingers pressing into the back of his neck burned like fire.

 

He broke the kiss.

 

"Talk to me Ney," he pleaded, moving to embrace him. 

 

But Neymar moved out of his reach, and leaned on the opposite wall. He shook his head.

 

"Just because we fucked doesn't mean we have to talk," he said.

 

"I'd rather you talk to me, even if it meant never fucking you."

 

Neymar smiled. He moved forward and turned on the shower. He drew Leo under the warm water with him.

 

"Come on, let me wash your hair," he murmured. He reached out and moved the wet strands away from Leo's face.

 

*

 


	26. Chapter 26

Masche came over, and he was very direct. Not at all awkward. Classic Masche.

"Look," he said, leaning forward intently, "literally _no one_  cares that you and Ney were practically making out in the locker room after the match."

Leo's face went flaming hot. 

"I mean it," Masche added.

"Yeah?"

He couldn't dare look at Masche.

"Leo, I know you don't realise these things in the moment but you were very, _very_  unhappy with the match. So Ney comforted you. You two were always close anyway. Everyone can see that there's something special between you two, whether you try to hide it or..."

"I'm not trying to hide it."

Masche raised an eyebrow.

"Well if you were, you are doing a terrible job."

"It's not what you think," Leo offered lamely.

"That's the problem, Leo. We don't know what to think!"

"What do you mean?"

"No one has an issue with you and Ney being together. In fact, I would bet that most of us love that idea."

"You do?"

Leo couldn't help a smile, and he blushed harder than ever.

"Of course! But what _is_  going on exactly?"

"Well...it's complicated..."

"Ah, so you're fucking but it's not a relationship?"

"We... _were..."_

Leo looked up tentatively. He was amused to see Masche blushing a little, and touched at how he valiantly controlled his features and tried to soldier on with the conversation.

"You _were?"_

Leo sighed.

"We were...together for a while. And now we're not."

"So fucking in the stall last night doesn't count?"

Leo burst out laughing. It came out of nowhere. And Masche joined in.

"It doesn't count," Leo said, sobering up quickly, "it was just...I don't know."

Masche reached out and put a hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry Leo. That explains a lot."

"What does it explain?"

"You've been down lately. Ney's been partying, but he doesn't seem to enjoy himself. It makes sense."

Leo nodded.

"Dammit, why doesn't anyone share any gossip with me?"

Masche actually looked a little hurt and Leo smiled.

"What should I do?" he said.

"About Ney?"

"Nah. About everyone..."

"Don't worry. I'll update everyone. People have been wondering about your moods Leo."

"Really?"

"Don't sound so surprised. Everyone on this team loves you. You know that? They really care about you. We've been worried."

Leo covered his face with his hands, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.

"I'll leave you." Masche stood up.

They embraced at the front door.

"You can talk to me, okay?"

"Thanks," Leo replied.

*

Leo was tired and he flopped down on his hotel bed. He didn't like it, but he was still not completely fit. The draw with Bayer Leverkusen didn't mean anything, so he wasn't going to worry too much about it. He wondered which room Neymar was in. He had clearly been avoiding him, and Leo didn't have the will to chase after him tonight. 

Well, they _were_  in Germany. Presumably Neymar was without his "friend" or ex or whoever. He could try to talk to him. But did Leo really know that he wasn't around? The fact that he knew so little about what was going on with Neymar didn't sit well with him all.

He picked his phone up. Pique was supposed to call him. He was in Barcelona and had promised Leo that his guy would look into Neymar's ex. The phone finally rang.

"My guy doesn't think he's really a real operator. He doubts that he has any evidence of anything, probably no grounds for any kind of blackmail," he said.

"Are you sure?"

"Well you never know, but apparently the guy seems kind of dumb. And desperate. I think he just wants to hold on to Ney. That's kind of the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"Well the problem isn't what he knows, and what he could take to the media. The problem is, what kind of hold does he have on Ney? We can't just tell him to leave town, unless Ney kicks him out. I mean we could try..."

"Geri, how do you tell someone to leave town? Don't be absurd."

"Amor, the whole thing is absurd. Don't you think?"

"How come you have a guy anyway? What kind of guy is he?"

"Actually he's Shak's guy."

Leo laughed.

"Really?"

"Yes, really! She is super duper famous, you know? You know how many crazies are obsessed with her? How many stalkers she has?"

"I can imagine."

"Leo...is it impossible for you to talk to Ney?"

"He's avoiding me."

"What, you mean besides the semi-public fucking in the..."

"Geri!"

Leo waited for Pique's raucous laughter to die down.

"But seriously Leo, we need to get this prick out of town. He is really bad for Ney and he is desperate to stick around."

"Would it help if we went to see him?"

Pique was silent for a few moments.

"You and me? Go and threaten in person this seemingly unstable and maybe a bit insane ex-lover of Neymar's, who is probably abusing him?"

Leo flinched.

"Yes. If it would help."

Pique whistled.

"Look, you know I got your back. If you think we should go see the guy, I'm there with you. But what would it accomplish? If we're going to threaten the guy or beat up the guy, I might as well send my guy. And tell him to take some of his friends. You know what I mean?"

"Geri! Stop it. Stop talking like some tough guy."

"I _am_  a tough guy amor."

"Please I..."

"I'm serious Leo. If something needs doing, and it's for you, I'm going to do it. Or get it done. And I won't hesitate."

Leo took a deep breath. Geri meant it, he knew it well. This wasn't the first time Geri had taken on the role of Leo's protector. He felt a little more at ease.

"Geri I..." he began. But he faltered, the words dying inside his throat.

"I love you too, little flea."

Leo smiled into the phone.

"Goodnight Geri."

"Goodnight Leo."

*

Back in Barcelona, back to training. He was feeling better. For once he wasn't even thinking of Neymar. But as he passed one of the recovery rooms on his way out, a familiar laugh rang out into the hallway.

Leo paused and glanced inside. And Neymar was sprawled out on one of the beds, half-naked, dying of laughter.

"Oh Leo!" the physio called out, "keep him company for a minute, and I'll be right back. Neymar says he is scared here by himself because it's like a haunted hospital..."

Before Leo could say anything, he had left the room. Leo walked in slowly and Neymar put his arms under his head and watched him.

"Hey, how was training?"

"It was good. How was your session?"

"Fine. I just feel stupid."

"Why?"

"Well you finally got back and I was looking forward to playing with you again."

"I know."

Leo stood at the foot of the bed, leaning on it a little. The sight of Neymar's flat, muscled stomach made him feel a little weak.

He couldn't help his eyes running slowly up Neymar's body, lingering on his dark brown nipples. When he got to his throat he paused, eyes narrowing.

Neymar was asking him something about training, but Leo didn't hear him.

"Are those fingerprints on your neck?" he blurted out, red hot rage suddenly rising in his chest.

"What?" Neymar lifted a hand to his neck, covering it.

Leo strode forward, eyes focussed on the spot. He reached out to move Neymar's hand out of the way, but Neymar reacted by moving angrily out of reach.

"Let me see," Leo demanded.

"No!" Neymar hissed.

"Why not?" Leo softened his tone, a lump forming painfully in his throat. He realised he had no right to demand anything.

There is nothing to see!" Neymar sounded exasperated.

"Then why are you hiding it?"

Neymar sighed and put down his hand. He rolled his eyes as Leo leaned forward and examined the spot.

"It's nothing, it's just embarrassing," he muttered.

"What the fuck Ney? You've got finger marks on your throat. Don't worry about being embarrassed, I'm fucking scared for you."

"Don't be," Neymar said wearily, "it happens sometimes." His tone sounded like he was talking to a naïve child, and Leo realised that he'd never spoken in that tone to him before.

"You mean it's a sex thing?" Leo's voice was way louder than he wanted it to be. "And you're into that?"

Neymar nodded, almost imperceptibly, unconvincingly, averting his eyes.

"What about the big, fucking bruise on your back? Are you into that too?"

Neymar still refused to look up, but he hissed "yes!" under his breath.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me," Leo said.

Neymar lowered his head even further, shaking his head vigorously.

"Ney..." Leo whispered, taking a step towards him. But just then he heard the physio coming back, entering the room talking loudly on the phone.

Neymar looked up then and Leo finally caught his eyes. Defiant, yet full of pain. Leo turned around and left.

His head was spinning as he stalked down the hallway. So this is what he'd driven him to. Because he was just too fucking cowardly to let him in, too cowardly to accept what Neymar had given him so freely - his fucking heart.

Leo swung around the corner and barged into the bathroom. He dropped to his knees in front of the toilet and threw up, throat burning with the bile that hurtled out of him. He clutched the seat, tears streaming down his face.

How could he have been so stupidly self-absorbed? So scared of being hurt that he never really thought of anyone but himself. He'd been so devastated by Kun's betrayal - Kun, who had been everything to him, his love as well as his best friend - that he'd been terrified that the same thing would happen with Neymar.

He was so fucked up.

But the truth was that Neymar was even more fucked up. Yet he was much more open, certainly a lot braver. He had every reason never to trust anyone again, but he'd been willing to trust Leo. And what had Leo given him in return? He'd sent him into this self destructive spiral, and who knew where that would end?

Leo covered his face with his hands and sobbed. He could hear Neymar's words, in Neymar's voice, ringing in his ears, clear as day:

"You know what bothers me the most?" he'd said, "the way you shut me out so quickly and so completely. Like I didn't mean anything to you."

Leo sobbed harder at the memory of it. The smell of bile was foul and all around him. His heart ached, like it was about to burst inside him.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should add that this story is coming to an end soon. Not even I can sustain endless angst! So it will probably be two more chapters and an epilogue or something. Not sure entirely yet but that's what it's looking like! xx


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is almost at an end, this is the second last chapter! It is a fairly dramatic chapter, so I hope all you drama-lovers will enjoy it. Once again, sorry for continuing to make you suffer, I hope it will all be worth it in the end! The last thing I want is to keep everyone hanging, so I will try to post the last chapter very soon. xx

How he got himself home was a mystery to Leo. His head was pounding, and his whole body was in pain. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so physically affected by stress. 

He drank some water and lay on his bed. He picked up his phone and called Kun. He hadn't talked to him in a while, and he just needed to hear his voice. 

"How are you cariño? It's been a while, huh?"

Kun's voice was warm and comforting. Leo breathed heavily into the phone. He couldn't bring himself to speak.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"No, not really," he mumbled, finally.

With Kun's coaxing, Leo tried to explain. But there was so much that he couldn't get out. Finally Kun sighed.

"I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you," he said.

"No," Leo protested, "I didn't call you to make you feel bad. We've moved on from that."

"I know. But you know that I said all those things because I was so insecure right? I'm not going to make excuses for cheating on you. But what I said afterwards? That it was all your fault for pushing me away? I just said that because I was so hurt. I felt that you didn't fully let me in, you didn't give us a real chance. I should have tried harder to understand you, but instead I just fucked everything up."

Leo closed his eyes. He and Kun had had many conversations about this, of course. They had really moved on, and were great friends now. But never had he felt so free of Kun as he did just now. He wasn't sure when it had happened. That flame for Kun, which had never completely died despite years passing, had finally gone cold. 

By the time they said goodbye and Leo went to bed, he felt lighter. He still felt sad and empty, but he had calmed down considerably. 

When he woke up the next day, Leo found that a sense of peace had entered him. It was match day and he had to focus on that, but he felt a sense of purpose that he hadn't felt before. He was going to talk to Pique and they were going to go see that guy. He no longer cared about how any of this affected him and his relationship with Neymar. In fact, he was ready to let Neymar go if that's what it was going to take. No matter what, he needed to deal with this guy. He felt determined. Neymar needed him, and this wasn't about _him_  and this wasn't about _them._

The match was very disappointing, and everyone was quiet in the dressing room afterwards. Leo shrugged it off. He had more important things on his mind. He watched Pique across the room, talking to Luis. He watched for a chance to go and speak to him. To decide what to do next.

Rafinha and Neymar came in, both dressed up and looking sharp. 

"Beautiful free kick, Leo," Rafinha said. 

Leo was distracted because he could feel Neymar's eyes on him.

"Hmm? Uh...thanks," he finally mumbled.

Rafinha shifted uncomfortably, and then muttered something and moved away. Leo looked at Neymar. He was smiling somewhat shyly, biting his bottom lip. Leo's heart lurched painfully.

"I'm sorry about the match Leo. That free kick though! It was...orgasmic."

Leo laughed. He couldn't help staring at Neymar, and he could see him blushing a little.

"Why are you so dressed up?"

"I have to go to a sponsor event. Poker."

"Oh okay."

"Are you alright? We should have won today and..."

"It's okay Ney," he cut in gently.

"I...miss you out there," Leo added, "it's not the same without you."

"Imagine how I felt when you abandoned me for _eight weeks_!"

Maybe it was because he used the word "abandoned", but the joking statement seemed heavy with significance.

"It didn't seem to bother you much!" Leo teased, trying to keep things light.

Neymar looked a little hurt.

"Leo, you have no idea. Without you on the pitch, it's like I don't even..."

"Hey, I'm kidding!"

Neymar stopped and smiled. He nodded.

"I have to go, okay?"

"Yeah. So Japan tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Leo watched Neymar walking out. Finally, Pique was by himself and he went over quickly.

"We need to go and see that guy tonight!" he said.

Pique turned around frowning.

"What guy? Oh...right!"

"Is that okay? Can we?"

"If you say so Leo. I told you I'm with you, whatever you decide."

"Ney is away at an event. So it's the perfect chance."

"We need to move soon then. Let me make a phone call."

*

It was weird. Leo sat in the back with Pique, and his "guy" - smooth, slim, wearing a killer suit - drove the car. Next to him sat another guy, more rugged, more muscled, casually dressed in jeans and T-shirt, completely silent. 

Geri was unusually quiet too. They got to Neymar's house in no time and Geri poked his head out of the window and waved to security. Before the car had even completely stopped moving, before he had time to rethink, Leo was out of the car, striding towards the door. The others - bar the guy's "friend" - caught up with him at the front door. 

"I'm Javier, by the way," the man said, voice low and smooth, "Pleasure to meet you Mr. Messi. I'm a big fan."

"Leo," Leo murmured, quickly grasping the offered hand. What a time to introduce yourself!

Javier nodded and turned to the door. He knocked loudly, the sound seeming to echo all around. It almost made Leo jump.

He stared at the man who opened the door. He looked like he had been drinking all day. His was slight, wiry, in a dressing gown that was half-open. He wasn't physically imposing in the least, but there was something about him that seemed rough and  _mean._  Leo tried to get as much visual information as possible. He could tell that he had been handsome - beautiful, even - with his long, lithe body and dark eyes that slanted upwards slightly, his cheekbones that jutted out of his pale, thin face. But whatever beauty he had had been compromised now. He looked like he'd had a hard few years.

"It's you again," he said, to Javier, and then he scanned Leo's face. His expression was extremely contemptuous, "and you brought... _him."_

And then, as if this was just a normal visit, they were all inside Neymar's living room. The guy was jumpy and irritable, and he glared at Leo.

"I can make things awkward for you," he blurted out, without prompting, pointing a finger at Leo, shaking a little.

"I don't care," Leo replied, feeling strangely calm, "In fact I'll tell you what you'll do. You'll leave town. As soon as possible. And you'll never contact Neymar again, and you'll never touch him again."

He could feel Geri staring at him. Javier stood in the periphery, watching things unfold. The guy laughed, high-pitched and unhinged.

"You boys think you're gods," he spat out, glancing from Leo to Geri, "do you know what stories I can tell the the media? About Ney? About you?"

"No one will care," Leo said, still very calmly, "you think you'd be the first person to try and spread rumours about me or about him?"

"Why are you here then? If you're not worried? You could have just sent your..."

Suddenly Geri stood up. The guy stood up too, but Geri loomed over him threateningly.

"We came here because we want you to know who you're dealing with," he said, "I promise you, no one will buy your story. I know every single person who runs anything in this town, and no one is going to cross me."

The guy stumbled back a little. Leo could see the uncertainty clouding his eyes.

"I...I...can take my story elsewhere. In Madrid they hate you." He stuttered but he looked triumphant after his last declaration, hope flitting across his face briefly.

But Geri just laughed out loud.

"None of the Madrid papers will cross me, even if they hate me in Madrid," he said, "if you had evidence of anything, _maybe._  But without any evidence? Nope. Not one of them will risk it. In fact, I'd be willing to pay you money myself if you can find one Madrid paper who will print your lies."

The man was speechless. Leo could see him trying hard to come up with something but, whether it was because he was high or simply stupid, he struggled.

"Isn't that what you want?" Geri said, voice dropping, almost conspiratorial, "For your stories? You want money right?"

The man went still. His eyes widened, and he looked quite desperate.

"I...what are you offering?" he finally said, posture slumping.

Geri snorted disdainfully.

"Nothing," he said, "Except some free advice. Leave town. Leave tonight. You don't want to go to jail for blackmail and extortion do you? Javier here is an ex-cop. He can tell you how it works."

Geri looked down at Leo.

"We're done here," he said, "let's go."

Leo stood up and took one last look at the man. He was now trembling, wiping his face nervously and drawing the cloth of his dressing gown around himself tightly. Leo finally thought he understood his hold on Neymar. Neymar probably felt sorry for him, he probably made him feel guilty and preyed on his soft heart and sympathetic nature. It made Leo even angrier.

As they turned around to leave, Javier stepped forward. Ever so casually, he put his hands on his hips, drawing back his jacket momentarily. It was not a coincidence that attached to his hip was a small, black gun, and it was not an accident that Javier happened to show off a glimpse of it at that moment.

"I'm leaving my friend outside while you pack," Javier said coolly, "in case you need help. You haven't met him but you probably don't want to. He's not as nice as me."

And then they were back in the car, driving away. Geri clasped Leo's hand in his, and only then did Leo realise he was sweating and shaking a little. He let out a breath that he'd been holding in. He looked up at Geri and Geri grinned.

"How was that?" he said, giggling.

Leo rolled his eyes.

"That was perfect sir," Javier murmured.

*

By the time Leo got back, said goodbye to Geri, and finished packing for the trip to Japan the next morning, it was quite late. He felt exhausted, and he wished he could have a break for a month or two. That was what he really needed. Some time to himself, maybe on some island somewhere. Summer couldn't come soon enough, but it wasn't even properly winter yet. He had just settled into bed, body tired and ready to end the day, when he heard thunderous knocking on the door.

He knew who it was even before he shuffled downstairs, to the front door, and opened it. 

Neymar sprang past him into the lobby and headed for the living room. Leo followed him there, and watched Neymar pacing up and down like a wild animal. He was still wearing his semi-formal clothes from earlier in the evening, but they were disheveled. 

"What did you say to him?" he finally shouted, turning around and fixing Leo with a glare.

Leo just looked at him, at the state of him. His eyes were red, face streaked with tear tracks, his hair was a mess as if he'd been clutching it viciously.

"Leo, what did you say to him? Why is he leaving? Why did you do this?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me. I know you were there! I get home and he's packing to leave. What right do you have to..."

"Ney, it's a good thing that he's leaving..."

"And what gives you the right to decide?"

Neymar shouted out so loudly that Leo was stunned into silence. His ears burnt hot and he wanted to break something. But he forced himself to remain calm. It wouldn't help anyone if both of them were in the same, volcanic mood. He left the room for a moment and came back. Neymar was still pacing around.

He'd rolled up his shirtsleeves and Leo noticed angry, red nail marks on his skin. He was dangerously close to losing his cool, but he struggled and held on. That is, until Neymar turned around and started laying into him again.

Leo couldn't take it anymore. He surged forward and grabbed Neymar's hands, turning them around painfully to stare at the marks.

"What the fuck is this?" he shouted, "why are you mad at me when I'm trying to help you?"

Neymar struggled with his grip, and then the tears fell down his face in a continuous stream.

"You don't understand," he sobbed, pulling his arms away and backing away, "you don't understand anything!"

"What don't I understand?"

"He's sick. He needs me. And I care about him!"

Leo reached into his pocket and took out Neymar's crucifix. He'd brought it from the bathroom when he'd left the room a few minutes ago. He held it up to Neymar's face.

"What about this? Why did you leave this here? Didn't you say you got this when you were scared?"

Neymar's eyes widened and Leo was alarmed to see how he trembled like a leaf.

"Who were you scared of?" he persisted, "wasn't it him? Why did you bring this here, just before you went to pick him up at the airport?"

"I didn't want him to see it," Neymar whispered, "it would have upset him."

Leo shook his head in disbelief. 

"And you didn't want to upset him because when he's upset he hurts you."

" _No."_

Neymar shook his head. The tears never stopped streaming down his face.

"No, it was because I wanted us to start over."

"But how do you start over with someone who has already destroyed you? Ney?"

Neymar stood still for a second, trembling, skinny, vulnerable and childlike. Then he lunged forward and snatched the crucifix from Leo's hands. It broke with the force of it and the black beads clattered to the ground, scattering far and wide.

He collapsed on the floor, picking up the pieces frantically and Leo kneeled down, trying to hold him steady, trying to talk to him. But Neymar struggled away from his grasp each time.

"Ney, just get rid of him and then you don't have to be afraid anymore. Look at this fucking thing, it's broken, let it be!"

But Neymar continued to gather the pieces, sobbing heartbreakingly as he did so. Finally he gave up on finding all the beads and got up, pathetically clutching what he had managed to salvage.

"You don't get it, and you'll never get it," he said, voice shaking with emotion, "I don't blame you for that Leo. We are just too different."

"There's nothing to get! He is just bad for you and I..."

Neymar cut in, voice suddenly cold and vicious.

"You only want me when there's someone else in the picture. Is it because then you don't have to deal with _me_? You can just fuck me and be done?"

"I've never given you any reason..." Leo began and then stopped, shaking his head. He wasn't going to take the bait just because Neymar was upset and lashing out.

"Let's forget about you and me," Leo said, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible, "I can live with not being with you. But I can't live with the thought of you being with someone who hurts you."

Neymar wiped his eyes with the back of his fists, still clutching the beads.

"Maybe I like being hurt," he said, "maybe I deserve it."

"Ney..."

"Maybe I like being with him. It's not up to you, is it?"

Leo took a step forward.

"Why are you here if you're so sure about him then? Why are you always coming to me then? Ney?"

Neymar stared at Leo for a few long seconds. Then he crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

"I won't. Not anymore."

His voice was ragged and hoarse. And then he turned around and walked out.

*


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the final chapter! Thank you all for reading this long, angsty, sad fic! Your comments and kudos have been so encouraging! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I will definitely be adding an epilogue at some point (especially since this last chapter doesn't have any smut and, really, y'all deserve some good smut). Enjoy. xoxo

  
Well, he could sleep on the thirteen hour flight to Japan. There was no way he was getting any sleep. Not after... _that._  


Leo drove all night, aimlessly. He just couldn't stay at home, he would probably break everything in his house. He had done all he could at this point. Hadn't he? But what good was that if Neymar took that guy back, begged him to stay? Leo knew he had to be ready to give up, accept it when there was nothing left to do. The thought made him shiver inside his car, even though he had the heating on.

 

He looked in the mirror before he left to go meet the team in the morning. He looked like shit. His face looked pale, paler than normal, and he had serious dark circles. Oh well. It couldn't be helped, and he could sleep on the flight.

 

He sat huddled in a corner, trying to avoid everyone. Geri came and sat next to him, but he didn't say anything. Just adjusted his posture a little when Leo leaned his head against his arm. Leo watched the door, until Neymar arrived.

 

He looked exhausted, face pale and eyes sunken. He made his way across the room, glancing at Leo quickly as he passed him. And then he smiled. A weak, smile, but it was a smile. Something warm seemed to flicker in his eyes. Suddenly Leo felt alert. But Neymar passed, and the moment passed. 

 

They were getting ready to board the charter plane to Japan. Geri said he was going to go to the bathroom and got up. As soon as he'd moved away from Leo's side, someone crashed into the seat vacated.

 

Sighing, Leo lifted his eyes. It was Dani. And Dani looked frantic, not at all as he normally looked - chill and happy. 

 

"I don't know what you did," he said, taking in deep breaths, "but thank you!"

 

Leo stared at him.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Leo, I had no idea! I had no idea things were that bad. I knew a lot but I didn't know he was hurting him, physically hurting him!"

 

Tears glistened in Dani's eyes.

 

"Dani, you were the one who told me about the guy. How he treated Ney terribly."

 

"I know! But I didn't know...everything. Ney told me last night, after he kicked the guy out!"

 

"He what?"

 

Leo sat up, eyes staring in shock, sudden grin stretching his mouth.

 

"He kicked him out, he's gone!" Dani whispered.

 

Leo was speechless. He thought he might break down. He felt a warm, fluid feeling in his chest, spreading all over his body. He realised it was his muscles relaxing, his heart loosening. So it was over. He suddenly felt tired, like he was going to drop right then and there. He yawned once, twice, thrice. Dani was looking at him, grinning. He hugged him.

 

"I know this has something to do with you. You did something!" Dani was saying over and over, but his voice sounded far away.

 

In the plane, Leo was seated with Masche. As they got settled in, Masche looked at him funnily.

 

"What?" Leo asked, grinning.

 

"What's wrong with you?" Masche asked, suspiciously.

 

Leo shook his head.

 

"Nothing! For once, nothing! Look how big these pajamas are, huh?"

 

He gestured towards his body, at the ridiculous pajamas hanging loosely off his frame. Masche laughed and rolled his eyes.

 

"You should have brought the ones I gave you," Luis' voice came from behind him, "they were a perfect fit."

 

Leo grinned at Luis, so much so that Luis looked taken aback.

 

"They really were perfect!" Leo exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically.

 

"Except he's not very grumpy right now," Masche muttered behind him. When Leo turned back to look at him, he raised a wary eyebrow and Leo laughed out loud.

 

Luis hummed and looked at him carefully, a smile playing about his lips.

 

"You're happy this morning, huh?" he said. Their eyes met for a few seconds. Leo impulsively embraced him, and Luis held him tightly before drawing back to look at his face again.

 

"Well, whatever it is..." he murmured. He kissed his cheek and went to his seat.

 

Leo settled into his seat, stretching out and reclining. He closed his eyes, telling himself that he _must_ get at least a few hours of sleep before landing in Japan. There would be press and fans at the airport, they would probably get mobbed. He would curse himself later if he didn't get some rest now. But every fibre of his being was desperate to go and talk to Neymar. He just needed to say something,  _anything._ To acknowledge what had happened, somehow. He could text him, but what if he wasn't checking his phone? Then he would just agonise over not getting a response. He shifted positions a few times.

 

Finally, after about an hour of this, he gave up and reached for his phone. He sent a text.

 

_Do you want to switch seats with me? Please? :)_

He watched his phone anxiously, and Dani's reply came after a couple of minutes.

 

_Did you really have to wait until I was all settled and comfy?_

_Sorry._

_Nah, it's ok. This kid has been fidgeting next to me non-stop anyway. I bet Masche is a lot better as a seatmate._

Leo grinned, glancing over at Masche. He was already asleep, comfortably bundled into his blanket.

 

_He's already asleep._

_Good!_

Leo craned his neck and looked up the aisle. Finally he saw Dani standing up and turning to walk down. He stood up and padded quietly up in his socks. He looked down at the heads of his teammates. Almost everyone was trying to sleep, or had headphones on. He put his hand on Geri's head as he passed and Geri jerked up, startled. When he saw it was Leo, he smiled and clasped his hand.

 

"You okay?" he mouthed.

 

Leo nodded and smiled.

 

Dani rolled his eyes and gave him a mock weary look as he passed him in the aisle. Leo smiled at him too and continued on his way. The closer he got the faster his heart beat, pounding inside his chest. His legs felt like jelly.

 

He stood next to Dani's seat and stared down at Neymar. He was turned the other way, blanket tight around him. Maybe he'd fallen asleep. Leo slipped into Dani's seat and lay down on his side. He eyes glanced over Neymar's slim form, and lingered on the back of his neck, on his tattoo. He didn't feel any sense of urgency to speak to him anymore. He was happy to just lie there.

 

But then Neymar fidgeted. He turned on his side. His eyes went wide with surprise.

 

" _Oh..."_ he exclaimed, and made as if to sit up.

 

Leo shook his head.

 

"Don't get up...just ignore me," he murmured.

 

Neymar smiled. It lit up his whole face, and Leo took a deep, painful breath.

 

"As if," Neymar whispered, settling down on his side, facing Leo.

 

He felt calmer as he gazed into Neymar's green, green eyes. They looked clearer, greener, than ever. 

 

He opened his mouth and closed it again. What would be a good thing to say? After everything? He had no idea. 

 

Neymar broke the silence.

 

"I'm sorry about what I said last night," he said frowning, words tumbling out quickly, "Everything I said was stupid garbage. I was very upset!"

 

He looked up at Leo tentatively. He seemed relieved that he'd gotten that out of the way.

 

Leo shook his head.

 

"I'm sorry about everything," he said. 

 

He supposed that that was as good a thing to say as anything. Everything else seemed irrelevant. Neymar nodded. Suddenly he looked tearful. He closed his eyes briefly.

 

"I'm so sorry Leo," he whispered.

 

Leo moved closer.

 

"I'm just glad you're okay. That's all I ever want."

 

He reached out to touch his shoulder, but Neymar suddenly grabbed his hand and clutched it tightly. His touch felt like fire.

 

"It got so complicated," Neymar whispered, eyes tightly shut.

 

Leo reached out his other hand and clasped both of Neymar's hands.

 

"I know," he whispered back. He moved so he was close enough to rest his forehead against Neymar's.

 

Neymar opened his eyes and tears fell down his face and he shivered. His breath came shallow and harsh, hot against Leo's skin.

 

"Leo..." he said.

 

"Ney..."

 

"Nothing to say?"

 

He giggled a little.

 

Leo closed his eyes, overwhelmed with emotions.

 

"Too much. Too much to say."

 

He felt Neymar's fingers on his face, stroking his cheekbone gently.

 

"Say  _something."_  


Leo kept his eyes closed.

 

"I feel there was something huge here, between us. And now it's gone. That feels good."

 

Neymar didn't reply and Leo finally opened his eyes. Neymar was staring at him thoughtfully.

 

"What are you thinking Ney?"

 

"We're both weirdos aren't we?"

 

"I guess so!"

 

"We were both hurt by  _other_ people. It had nothing to do with us!"

 

"That's usually the case Ney."

 

"Aren't you so wise?"

 

"I'm older after all."

 

"Well, that's obvious!"

 

"Back to insulting me already?"

 

Neymar laughed out loud, and then quickly clamped his hand over his mouth. His eyes looked bright and full of mischief. Leo couldn't tear his gaze away. He was so... _alive._  


"Why are you staring at me like that Messi?"

 

"It's just...you're back. Just like that. You're you again."

 

He tightened his hold on Neymar's hands. Neymar's face grew serious.

 

"Is that good?"

 

"It's perfect."

 

Leo lowered his eyes, focusing on Neymar's mouth. Of course he wanted to kiss him. Badly. But he wouldn't do it. He didn't have to. They lay still for a few minutes. Maybe he could get some sleep now. He closed his eyes.

 

"Leo!" Neymar whispered suddenly, urgently. Leo looked up, a little startled.

 

"What?"

 

"I need to ask you something."

 

"Okay."

 

Neymar had this look in his eyes, and Leo felt his heartbeat picking up rapidly. He swallowed thickly.

 

Neymar took a deep breath.

 

"I know things got really complicated between us, but I need to ask you this. Could you love me? Not now, but..."

 

Neymar stopped as a sob escaped Leo. He didn't even know this before he was saying the words, before he pressed as close to Neymar as possible, pressing his lips to his neck. He said the words into his skin, as if to imprint them onto his body.

 

"I love you," he whispered "I've loved you since the beginning. I couldn't stop, even if I tried. And I  _fucking tried..."_  


He was babbling, tears falling down his face. He felt Neymar's hand digging into his hair and pulling his head back painfully.

 

"Stop it, stop it!" he whispered fiercely,"Look at me and say it!"

 

Leo opened his eyes and Neymar was crying too, face scrunched up painfully. He was still the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.

 

"I love you," Leo whispered again.

 

Neymar laughed wildly, hysterically, and pressed his face to Leo's.

 

"Stop it!" he gasped, "You're going to make me cry!"

 

"You're already crying!" Leo exclaimed, laughing too.

 

Neymar's mouth found Leo's and they kissed, their tears mingling, the kiss soft, sweet and salty. 

 

"I think I'm having a heart attack," Neymar mumbled, pulling Leo close, closer and closer. He clutched at him desperately. He breathed heavily and, finally, drew back a little and looked at Leo seriously.

 

"I love you Leo," he said.

 

Leo's heart soared.

 

"Now  _I'm_  having a heart attack," he said, suddenly feeling shy.

 

"But you knew I loved you," Neymar murmured, stroking Leo's arm soothingly.

 

"I...needed to hear it." It was hard to get the words out, still.

 

"Should I have just said it?"

 

"Yes. You should always tell me just what you're thinking and feeling."

 

"That's ironic, coming from you."

 

A burst of laughter left Leo.

 

"Don't I know it," he mumbled, blushing.

 

Neymar kissed his forehead.

 

"But I love you, for how you are."

 

"I have a lot to learn. From you."

 

Neymar kissed his cheek tenderly.

 

"Hmmm. Like how to be a fucking idiot?"

 

Leo felt a stab in his heart.

 

"You're not a fucking idiot. And you know what else? You don't deserve to be hurt. Not by me, and not by anyone else."

 

Neymar lowered his eyes and, hard as it was, Leo went on.

 

"You're amazing, and sweet. And some people take advantage of that, that's all."

 

"And you're not going to take advantage?"

 

His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were serious. Leo shook his head.

 

"I'm just going to love you. Until you get sick of me."

 

Neymar grinned. He snuggled closer, burying his face in Leo's chest.

 

"Impossible," he whispered.

 

Leo put his arms around Neymar and got comfortable. He spread the blanket over both of them. Neymar immediately brought his leg up to wind around Leo's waist, sighing happily.

 

Leo kissed the top of his head.

 

"So," Neymar said, voice muffled in Leo's chest, "what should we talk about now?"

 

"I don't know. We have like twelve hours."

 

Neymar lifted his head and looked up at Leo.

 

"You look so tired baby," he said.

 

Leo nodded.

 

"I kind of didn't get any sleep last night. You look tired too."

 

Neymar yawned.

 

"I didn't sleep either."

 

"Should we just go to sleep?"

 

Neymar smiled. He reached up and kissed Leo, drawing his lips into his mouth. Their lips clung together momentarily. It felt warm and delicious. Like home. Leo closed his eyes, and he felt Neymar kissing his eyelids softly.

 

"Sleep sounds perfect," Neymar murmured, resting his head on Leo's chest.

 

"Sleep well, my love."

 

The words had barely left his lips when Leo felt sleep overtaking him, like a gentle wave.

 

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that was fun and worth it! To be honest, I might even add some more chapters (beyond the epilogue) to this fic from time to time. I'm kind of not done with these two, and I would love to write them a few more happier chapters after the emotional rollercoaster they have been through! :)


	29. Ever After: 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what happens when all the drama and angst come to a resolution and our boys are finally happy together in each other's loving arms? A lot of talking and a fair bit of fucking, apparently. xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, lovely readers. Thank you again for being so generous with your words and your kudos! As promised, this is the first of the epilogue chapters I am going to do. I have no idea how many I will do, but I think at least a couple more. I hope you enjoy this one. I really enjoyed writing Ney and Leo as a happy couple, for once! Although, of course, they have a lot to talk about and all that. I know I made a lot of you sad, so I hope this makes up for it a little. Hugs! xoxo

_"I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you."_

It was just like a dream. He'd scored a goal from Neymar's assist. He'd run to celebrate and it was all a blur. They'd found each other. He was lifted and spun around, held tightly, so tightly. And his voice whispering in his ear _I love you,_ deliriously, hysterically, as if he couldn't stop.

Leo was dizzy with happiness, excitement, relief.

"Shut up before I kiss you in front of everyone!" he whispered back, and then the rest of the team caught up and surrounded them. For a few moments, Neymar and Leo were locked together in the centre of the group hug. Leo never wanted to let him go, and Neymar didn't seem like he was ever going to loosen his embrace of Leo's body.

Eventually they were torn apart, pulled into different embraces. But they found each other again as everyone jogged back to their positions. Another quick hug and Leo had to go back to his place, on the other side of the pitch. _Damn_. The pitch had never seemed wider.

*

There was a soft knock on the door, and Leo went to answer it. Neymar stood outside, smiling hopefully.

Leo had left Geri's room, where everyone was gathered, because he was tired and wanted some time to himself. To be honest, he was still buzzed from the win and not exactly sleepy. He'd said goodbye to the room, and no one blinked when he leaned down and kissed Neymar on the forehead before he left. Neymar had jerked his face up in surprise, and had watched after him intently as he left the room.

Leo had felt Neymar's eyes on his back.

He wondered if he would come to his room. He didn't want to ask because he didn't want to pressure him. After all they'd been through, after all _Neymar_ had been through, Leo had decided that he would let Neymar set the pace for their relationship.

If Neymar didn't come to his room, he wouldn't mention it. And he didn't come, until tonight.

"Hey," he said, somewhat uncertainly, "are you really going to sleep?"

"Eventually," Leo said, smiling and leaning on the door frame.

"Oh. So not right now?"

"Mmm, probably not immediately..." Leo mumbled, distracted by Neymar's mouth. It was just so shapely and, slightly parted, looked so soft and inviting.

"So why did you leave then?" 

"I just wanted some time to myself," Leo replied, not really thinking about what he was saying.

"Oh okay. Away from...everyone?" Neymar sounded more and more uncertain, and Leo had this feeling that he was supposed to say something reassuring. But he wasn't thinking clearly, and it was as if his mind had suddenly gone foggy.

When he looked up and saw the insecurity flickering in Neymar's eyes, he suddenly snapped out of it and sprang into action.

"Almost everyone," he replied, and took Neymar's wrist and pulled him inside.

He leaned on the door and looked at Neymar, now all happy and jumping around like an excited puppy.

They regarded each other for a few moments, Neymar bristling with energy and excitement and Leo standing still like a statue against the door. Leo knew that from the outside he must seem completely composed, cold even, in control. But he felt like his insides were melting, and his heart was beating at an unnatural pace.

"Come here," he said, softly.

He liked the effect his words had on Neymar. He turned serious, suddenly. He bit his lip nervously and walked towards him. Once he reached him, he pressed both palms against the door, above Leo's head and leaned down, not touching but breathing soft breaths on Leo's face.

It was excruciating, how close Neymar was. He could feel his heat, his heartbeat, his breaths, but they weren't touching at all. For some inexplicable reason, Leo didn't want to be the one to touch him first. And Neymar was still and waiting. Finally he spoke.

"Don't you want to kiss me?"

Neymar's lips were so close that Leo could almost feel them brush over his lips. Almost.

Leo pressed his lips together and shook his head.

"Why not? Don't you want me?"

Leo could feel himself getting hard. He wanted to buck up into Neymar, devour his lips that were so provocatively close. He wanted to grab him by the waist and grind against his cock. But he stopped himself.

"Don't you want to touch me?" he said, voice pleading, soft and seductive. Neymar knew exactly what he was doing, and Leo almost wanted to laugh. Except it was totally working.

"No," Leo whispered, voice choking a little.

"Why not?"

"I...I want you to...touch me first."

Neymar smiled, and the movement made his lips brush over his ever so slightly. Leo shuddered at that faintest of contact and Neymar chuckled. He dragged his palms slowly down the surface of the door, close to but not touching Leo's sides.

"Baby," Neymar whispered, closing his eyes and biting on his lower lip.

"I missed that," Leo said, before he could stop himself. Neymar's eyes snapped open and he stared at him intently.

"You missed what?"

Leo looked down, overwhelmed. Suddenly he didn't care about whatever game it was they were playing. He grabbed Neymar around the waist and pulled him to himself roughly, burying his face in his chest.

He felt Neymar's arms immediately come up to encircle his neck and his head tightly.

He didn't want to ruin the moment by being too emotional, but it was too late for that. He held him tighter and tighter, squeezing him, until it felt like they were fused together.

Somehow they made their way to the bed, stumbling in their reluctance to let each other go even a little. Leo leaned on the headboard and pulled Neymar into his lap, until he was straddling him, legs wrapped around his waist and hands on his shoulders. 

He looked down at him and Leo focused on his eyes, getting lost a little and calming down a little.

"Are you okay?" Neymar asked, face a little worried.

"I...I _am_ okay," Leo replied, giving the question some thought, "I feel...a lot of things that I don't quite have the words for."

He felt flustered and stupid. 

"Then don't say anything," Neymar said lightly, "You don't need to talk. Just...show me how you feel."

Leo nodded and leaned up to claim Neymar's mouth. Finally. Why did they wait so long?

They kissed lazily, wet, warm, lingering. Neymar kissed like he hugged, fully committed, clinging like he didn't want to let go. And Leo needed this so much. He cupped Neymar's face in both hands and tasted his warm, velvet tongue pushing into his mouth. Leo sucked on it, took his time with it, and then pressed his tongue into Neymar's mouth, pried it open and played with his tongue. 

They paused for breath, panting hot against each other's mouths, still pressed together. 

"So that's how you feel," Neymar panted, smiling.

Leo nodded, mind spinning, hyper aware of Neymar's hard cock pressing against his own hard cock.

"I love you so much Leo," he murmured.

Leo looked up at him, but he had closed his eyes. And he continued talking without looking at him.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you, even when I was trying to so hard. And I ended up doing such stupid shit, just to forget about you. But I could never, ever stop. You were just on my mind _all the fucking time._ "

Leo couldn't think of what to say to that. If only Neymar knew how closely he was describing Leo's own state! He moved his hands and massaged the back of Neymar's neck gently.

"And every time we...it would _kill_ me afterwards because I thought I could never really have you! I convinced myself that you just felt sorry for me or something or you just wanted..."

Neymar opened his eyes then, and looked at Leo. His eyes were pleading for understanding. 

Leo pushed him gently, until he was lying flat on the bed. He leaned over him and kissed him on the forehead. Neymar kept talking, like the floodgates had been opened.

"I felt so bad Leo. That time, in the shower. Afterwards, when you asked me to come home with you, and everything inside me was..."

He stopped.

"Don't stop," Leo murmured, kissing him on both cheeks. He was leaning over Neymar now, and he tilted his chin up with a finger, kissing along his neck.

 _"Oh,"_ Neymar moaned, so breathy and soft that Leo felt like his heart was breaking again.

He sucked gently over the pulse, and Neymar moaned again. Loudly this time. When he spoke again, his voice was shaking a little.

"Everything inside me was saying _Yes!_ I wanted to go home with you so bad. But I was so angry with you for asking me that!"

"I'm sorry baby," Leo said, kissing down his neck, tracing the outline of his sharp collarbones. He pulled Neymar's t-shirt up, and Neymar raised his arms to accommodate him. 

Leo straddled him, staring at his naked torso, his lean, muscled and heavily tattooed arms flung upwards over his head gracefully.

"Don't be sorry for that," Neymar said, his eyes so tender and trusting as he looked up at Leo.

"It's not for that. It's for everything." Leo was choking out his words again. 

He stroked his fingertips over Neymar's muscles, circling the pink nipples lightly. He smiled at Neymar's agonised expressions.

"Are you laughing at me?" he said, eyes glinting.

Leo shook his head.

"I just love you so much," he blurted out, "your face is so...expressive. I could just watch you for hours."

Neymar smiled. 

"Take off your shirt Messi," he drawled, lazily flicking a finger at the hem of Leo's t-shirt. Leo complied, slipping the cotton shirt over his head. He could feel himself blushing hot, as Neymar looked him up and down hungrily.

Neymar gripped his waist and then dragged his thumbs down the V shape, dipping into the waistband of his shorts. 

"I love _this,"_ he said, voice all throaty and sexy. Then he moved his hands inside Leo's shorts and cupped his ass.

"And _this."_

He trailed his hands up and down Leo's body, fingers digging into his skin, kneading, pulling, massaging. When he brushed his fingertips lightly over his nipples, Leo couldn't help throwing his head back and moaning.

"And I love that sound. Baby, I love you so much. I missed you like hell."

"I know baby. Everything you're telling me...I felt it too."

Neymar sighed and pulled him down so that he was lying on top of him. His face was pressed to Neymar's neck, and he was lost in his scent. He could feel his own heart pounding and he was pretty sure he could feel Neymar's heart too.

"Did you always think of me first thing when you woke up, and last thing before you went to bed?" Neymar asked.

"Yes."

"Did you want to tell me things and you couldn't because you shouldn't really be texting me?"

"Yes, of course."

"Did you jerk off thinking about me?"

Leo smiled.

" _Yes."_

"Good. That would have been embarrassing if you'd said no!"

"Are you done with the questioning?"

"I have one more. Did you feel lonely?"

Leo sighed and pressed his mouth on the side of Neymar's neck, opening it and gently sucking on the skin.

"Ney..."

"Oh but you don't feel lonely, Leo Messi."

Neymar yelped out as Leo bit down on his neck.

"Yes I felt lonely, Neymar! I don't normally feel lonely, but I felt lonely without you. Okay?"

Neymar struggled to sit up. He cupped Leo's flushed face in his hands and stared at him intently.

"Are...are you angry with me?"

Leo shook his head impatiently. He grabbed Neymar's hands and turned them over so his wrists were facing up. The scratch marks hadn't completely faded yet.

"Tell me about this," Leo said.

"Why?" Neymar turned his head to the side. He didn't cry, but his chest heaved as if he was crying.

"Look at me, please."

Neymar shook his head, straining his face away even more.

"Look at me _please._  My love, my love please look at me."

When he finally turned his head to look at Leo, they were both shaking visibly.

"How did this happen?" Leo gestured to the marks on his wrists. He let go of his arms, and Neymar quickly crossed his arms tight across his naked body. He looked small and vulnerable, the transformation so instant and complete that Leo couldn't help throwing his arms around him and holding him tight.

"He was packing his bags when I got home, and then he begged me to let him stay. And I said okay, but I forgot something and I had to go get it. When I tried to leave, he grabbed my hands to try and stop me and...that...that's what the scratches are from..."

"And then you came to me?"

"Yes. I...I needed to see you. I didn't know what to do, but I needed _you._ So I drove to your place. And I didn't even know what I was going to say. Then I ended up shouting at you!"

"You were so mad at me."

"No," he whispered, nuzzling into Leo's neck, "no not really. I was so scared."

"What made you kick him out in the end?"

"When you asked me why I always came to you. And I thought about that all the way on the drive back home. I got home and I was still clutching those stupid beads in my hands! And then the answer suddenly came to me. I realised it was because you're the only one I trust, Leo."

"I...I trust you too, you know?"

Neymar drew back and looked at Leo, a smile playing on his lips.

"Do you mean it?"

Leo nodded.

He picked up Neymar's wrists and kissed the marks gently. He laid him down again and undressed him, and then himself. Then he flipped him over onto his stomach. He kissed the nape of Neymar's neck. He could still see the faint bruising at the base of his neck, and the mark on his shoulder blade hadn't completely faded yet. Leo kissed it all, stroking gently all over. Neymar was quiet and pliant, but he moaned softly from time to time.

Finally, he pulled him into his arms and covered them both with the blanket. The way their bodies fit together was wonderful. It was as if this was where he was meant to be all along.

*

Leo turned on his side, keenly feeling the emptiness next to him. Neymar had been next to him, cuddling close, arm thrown over his body. Or had he? Was it just another dream after all?

He slowly opened his eyes, half-closing them again as the flood of light hit him. It seemed early, very early, very quiet. And there was someone, like a shadow, sitting at the window seat, legs drawn up to the chin.

Leo smiled to himself and willed him to turn around. And he did. That's when Leo knew it was a dream. Because he'd had that dream before. Neymar in the morning light, golden and beautiful, smiling mischievously, green eyes shining like jewels. 

Leo turned around and buried his face in the pillow. He felt a deep pressure inside his chest as angry, frustrated sobs escaped him. He wanted to run away, but he couldn't think of a single place to run from _this,_ and so he buried deeper into the pillow.

He was startled when he felt cool hands gripping his shoulders. And then the beloved voice.

"Leo! Leo, look at me!"

He gave in and let himself be turned over. Then he lay on his back, tears still streaming down his face, staring up in wonder. So he was here. He was really, _really_ here. Yet he still felt scared. Scared that if he spoke, or if he touched him, he would wake up.

"Leo..." Neymar began, frowning a little, beautiful face leaning close down. 

It was too much. Leo reached out and traced a finger lightly, really, really lightly over his cheek. His eyes fluttered shut, but he was still there.

"Good morning angel," Leo murmured, cupping his cheek with his hand.

Neymar sighed happily and let himself be pulled down. Leo wrapped his arms around him and they lay on their sides, facing each other. Neymar reached out and brushed Leo's eyes gently.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, voice tense and worried.

Leo burst out laughing, shaking his head. He leaned forward to kiss Neymar, but Neymar moved out of his reach.

"First talk," he said, trying to sound firm.

Leo raised an eyebrow.

"I mean it Leo! Talk to me!"

"Okay, but it's stupid."

"That's okay."

"I...I woke up and you weren't here..."

"Sorry baby. The view was so beautiful and you were fast asleep..." Neymar quickly started. Then he stopped and signaled Leo to continue.

"I looked over and I saw you there and...and I..."

He shook his head and looked down. Neymar placed his index finger under Leo's chin and raised his face up.

"And you...?"

"I thought I was dreaming."

"What?"

"I thought I was dreaming," Leo repeated, feeling strangely agitated, "I saw you sitting by the window, and I was sure that I was just dreaming you."

He could see Neymar looking at him with a mix of disbelief and affection.

"It's because it's happened before," he blurted out, "You're there, and then you're not and I realise I'm only dreaming."

There was a few moments of silence in which Neymar just stared at him like he was crazy. Well he must have sounded a little crazy. Leo felt stupid. He opened his mouth to make a joke.

"Well I..." he began.

But Neymar suddenly surged forward and covered his mouth with his. He kissed Leo fiercely, possessively, hard and almost painfully. They both sat up, kissing and groping at each other's naked bodies. Neymar's hands on his body were hard and determined, and Leo loved the sensation. It was as if he wanted to convince Leo that he was there, really there. He drew Neymar into his lap, pulling at his flesh, kissing and sucking along his throat, and tightly gripping his muscled, slim thighs.

 _"Oh.."_ Neymar moaned, throwing his head back, face contorted as if in pain, "take this off!" He pulled impatiently at Leo's briefs. He climbed off his lap and they both peeled off their briefs, cocks already hard and ready.

"I need you," Neymar growled, gripping Leo by the waist, staring at his flushed cock with hungry eyes. He stared from his cock to Leo's face, parting his mouth suggestively. 

"I need you," he repeated, this time a desperate whisper. And Leo groaned out loud as Neymar's mouth, hot and wet, engulfed his cock. Neymar sucked him greedily, sloppily, moving up and down, tongue twisting hotly around the shaft.

Leo put his hands on Neymar's head and got lost in the sensation. He leaned back and moaned completely uncontrollably. It was when Neymar started deep throating him, and the utter filthy bliss of his throat muscles contracting around his cock was so intense, that Leo pushed him off roughly. 

"Ow!" Neymar cried out. He massaged his jaw a little and looked up, glaring at him offended.

Leo couldn't help a smile.

"What? What did I do wrong?" Neymar whined, pouting.

"Nothing," Leo mumbled blushing, "I don't want to...I want to slow down a little."

Neymar rested on his elbows and looked up at the ceiling, shouting out a laugh.

"Now you tell me!" he said, looking Leo up and down, gaze absolutely filthy. He laughed again, but it was a different one. Throaty, sexy, and he knew it. 

"I need you too," Leo said softly. He trailed a hand down Neymar's chest, and he loved how it shut him up. He grew serious all of a sudden, and Leo could see him swallowing nervously.

"Spread your legs for me," he said, and Neymar's eyes didn't leave his for a second while he did as he was told. Leo settled himself between his thighs. He ran his fingers up and down Neymar's spread thighs and reveled in how Neymar shuddered.

Finally he went down and flicked his tongue gently over Neymar's entrance. He could feel Neymar's whole body trembling lightly with his every touch. He flicked up and down a few times and, as Neymar started to whimper softly, he darted the tip of his tongue inside. Neymar arched his back, moaning loudly. Leo darted his tongue in and out of Neymar's tight entrance, swirling it around just outside from time to time. He licked up and down the space between his entrance and his balls, dragging the tip of his tongue slowly over the sensitive skin, spurred on by Neymar thrashing around above him.

Leo worked Neymar open, wiggling his tongue inside him, lapping in and out vigorously. He sat up and reached for the nightstand to find the lube, and he caught Neymar staring at him. He grabbed the lube and pressed his forehead briefly to Neymar's chest, and he could feel his heart pounding like crazy. Neymar grabbed him around the neck with both hands and held him tightly, panting harshly. He bucked up into Leo, grinding his cock against Leo's.

"Leo..." he panted, "Leo...Leo..."

Leo had to pull away forcefully, and Neymar kept pulling him to him, gripping him tightly. Finally Leo managed to sit up. He smiled at Neymar, who was staring at him with glazed eyes.

"Don't you want me to...?" He shook the little bottle of lube. Neymar blushed and bit his lip.

"I want you," he said, voice barely audible, "so, so much, Leo."

"I know baby," Leo replied.

He slicked up his fingers. And when he pressed one in, it slid in easily enough. Two fingers and he could feel Neymar adjusting himself to accommodate him. He moved the fingers slowly, pumping in and out, and soon Neymar was moaning and grinding down on his fingers. Leo pressed further in and when he crooked his fingers up, Neymar shouted out, gripping the sheets with both hands.

"Alright baby?" Leo chuckled, and repeated the motion.

" _Yes!"_ Neymar cried out.

"Are you ready for me?"

"Please baby, _yes."_

Leo wasted no time. A strong sense of urgency had been building up, watching Neymar moaning and whimpering shamelessly, the taste of him, and now that he was pushing inside him, Neymar's fingers digging into his waist as he tried to get him to hurry up, it was very, very difficult to stay calm.

Finally he was buried inside Neymar, tight and hot, and Neymar was already wiggling around, bucking up and down a little. Leo pressed his palms flat on the bed, on either side of Neymar. He leaned down and nipped at his lips, and Neymar arched off the bed and pushed his tongue inside Leo's mouth. He wrapped his legs around Leo's waist and pressed him down. When Leo resisted, he sighed in exasperation.

"Leo," he whined, "are you afraid of hurting me or something?"

"No," Leo mumbled, but it wasn't really true.

Maybe it was the way he put it, but Leo realised that he _was_ afraid of hurting him. Funnily, he hadn't realised it until now. He pressed in slowly and Neymar was moving with him, bucking his hips up and down. Once Leo was all the way in, pressed up against Neymar's hips, he leaned his head on Neymar's shoulder, breathing hard.

Neymar, too, stopped moving for a while, and he was breathing in and out in short breaths, trying to get used to the feeling of Leo inside him. When he started bucking again, Leo started thrusting in and out slowly.

"I am," he finally said, voice shaky. He cupped Neymar's face with both hands, smoothing his fingers over his brows.

"What?" Neymar whispered. Leo bent down and kissed his face.

"I _am_ afraid of hurting you," he said.

Before Neymar could say anything else, he kissed him, pushing his tongue in, nibbling on his bottom lip. He fucked in and out of Neymar with some ease now, setting up a rhythm, thrills going up and down his spine.

He stopped kissing Neymar for a moment and looked at his face, and his lips looked bruised and swollen, more sexy and beautiful than ever before. 

"Let me ride you," Neymar said, winking mischievously.

When Leo was settled against the headboard, Neymar straddled him. He raised his hands to grip the headboard, and pushed down on Leo's cock. He went straight down, moaning as Leo's cock buried deep into him. Leo could hardly breathe, the sensation of Neymar's tight heat clenched around his cock was amazing. 

Neymar's hands dropped to Leo's shoulders and he went up and down slowly, pulling himself off Leo's cock and pushing himself down. They both breathed deep, in and out, as they adjusted. When it got easier, Neymar started going faster. Leo gripped his hips and pulled him up and pushed him down. He thrust up and down with Neymar's movement, and soon they were both moaning continuously, Leo's cock sliding in and out easily.

Leo's fingers dug into Neymar's ass as he pressed him up and down. Leo could feel himself hurtling towards completion and judging by Neymar's breathy moans, he knew he was close too. He reached for Neymar's cock, hard and leaking against his stomach, but Neymar batted his hand away.

"I...I'm gonna come from your cock," he breathed out, bouncing up and down on Leo's cock vigorously.

Neymar said many things, his voice low and breathy, sinful and angelic at the same time. Neymar rode him hard and fast, and Leo thrust up and down in time, and it became messy and erratic. Sweat drenched skin slapped together, and the obscene, wet sounds of precome and lube drenched skin coming together filled the room. Leo didn't say anything, only moaned when Neymar dipped his tongue into his open mouth, and then sucked at his neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around Neymar, so that they were fused together.

Neymar no longer bounced up and down. He was grinding hard, but with Leo's cock completely inside him. Leo rotated his hips, feeling the space that had opened up inside Neymar, and Neymar might have been crying, because Leo could feel wetness on the side of his neck where he had buried his face.

The rest was a blur.

A blur of sensation that started in the pit of his stomach, and ran up and down his spine, spreading through his limbs. Leo came, thrusting hard, white hot, spurting endlessly, buried deep inside Neymar. He saw stars, and he gripped the other man hard, as his head spun. And he heard him moaning as _he_ came, spilling all over their stomachs. His voice anchored Leo and brought him back to life, back down to earth.

Neymar was shaking like a leaf, and laughing breathlessly, still sitting on Leo's lap but slumped forward.

God it was a beautiful sight, because he looked so fucking happy. Sweat drenched, boneless and laughing. Leo started laughing too and he grabbed his hands and pulled him down.

"Ow..." Neymar murmured, as Leo pulled out and drew him into an embrace. 

"Are you hurt?" Leo immediately asked, and Neymar palmed his face away playfully.

"Are you going to ask me that every time you fuck my brains out?"

"Oh is that what I just did?"

Neymar giggled, trying to come closer. Leo placed a hand on his waist, rubbing circles over it gently.

"I'm afraid of hurting you too, you know?"

Leo pulled back to look at Neymar's face.

"Oh yeah?"

"Well yeah. I did, didn't I?"

"You didn't mean to."

"But most people don't _mean_ to."

Leo nodded.

"I was always so afraid," he said, "and how I felt about you scared the shit out of me."

"How _did_ you feel about me?"

Leo looked up to see Neymar grinning at him.

"And I thought this was a serious conversation," he grumbled.

Neymar laughed out and kissed him.

"Tell me!" he insisted.

"Well the scary thing was that I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop at all. I couldn't control it one bit."

"Well that's love for you, baby."

"I know that."

"I'm sorry for doing that to you though!" Neymar giggled. Leo caught his hands and kissed them.

"You make me so much braver," he said, and then immediately blushed bright red. He waited for Neymar to say something silly, but Neymar's face became serious.

"And you make me feel safe," he whispered.

After that, Leo had no more words. He pulled Neymar into his arms and covered them with the blanket. They could probably sleep for a couple more hours before someone rudely woke them up for breakfast.

*


End file.
